Broken up with ex for 4 months, we’re texting again but I’ve been hooking up with someone
Hello!
I’m not really sure where else to post this but I guess is this scenario morally wrong?
So my ex broke up with me 4 months ago now. I’m 22 and he’s 20. We dated for a year and a half, broke up because I was not the best honestly and had a lot of triggers + undiagnosed OCD affecting the relationship. He felt drained and told me he couldn’t do it anymore.
After 2 months I kinda gave up being persistent on getting therapy for the relationship and started working on myself like he wanted me to. I used to text him frequently asking for another chance saying I’d do anything and sharing how depressed I was and wallow in self potty. It was embarrassing. Eventually I got help and I would occasionally text him but more so say I’m thinking of him or that I learned something new about how I’d react and how I was sorry for hurting him previously.
After some time It got less and less, and it’s like as I decreased the attention he started liking me more again? Sometimes I’d get drunk and text him that I missed him or be flirty and he’d reply for a bit and retreat again. Anyway, eventually my friend takes me out because she doesn’t want to see me depressed and I met this guy let’s call him P. So P and I hooked up and it was great, another part of why me and my ex failed was I couldn’t really have a sex drive because I was on birth control and didn’t realize how badly it affected it until I got off after we broke up.
There’s this period when you get off it where you’re INCREDIBLY horny I’m talking about I was going at it 3 times a day alone and well I was in a long distance relationship too so I was already not having sex for 4 months at a time and figured well I haven’t really ever hooked up before so why not. We kept talking and eventually we saw each other again a few days ago, but the thing is my ex is talking to me again.
He tells me he still feels for me, but that he is afraid of hurting me because he feels resentful. But the he’ll text me he misses me or that he waits for this painting I made for him with a letter that I sent over a week ago and said he wants to cry over it and appreciate it deeply. He previously would say he hates me, he doesn’t want me, and I asked if he’s been hooking up etc he said why are you asking me if we broke up it shouldn’t have me so distressed so I stopped stressing about it and let go but he’s coming back the more I do.
Anyway, yeah, is it wrong to reciprocate him? To say I miss him too, or the fact that I did make a beautiful painting for him despite having hooked up with P once before? I don’t know if it is, but I also wonder if he too has been doing the same. I personally wouldn’t mind, because we’re not together. But I don’t know if it’s morally wrong, because he is a sensitive person and I feel like maybe he’d cry if he knew? But at the same time I don’t even know if this would truly lead to reconciliation or not because he has been back and forth, though this time he has been more persistent than any other.
So, is this morally wrong? Do I have an obligation to flat out say I’ve been hooking up? Or do I just keep shut and see where it goes? If he ever asked me, I wouldn’t lie, but at the moment it’s not come up. I also do kind of like the guy I’m seeing, and always having had a complicated relationship with sex due to my own trauma, It feels liberating in a way to have found someone who I’m comfortable with and he’s honestly extremely attractive too and kind. So yeah. I do, still love my ex though.