u/Its_Starlight_Btw

I was resently informed that due to my problems, such as autism, selective mutism and ADD, I might be able to graduate without the need to worry about working. I will be paid a reasonable amount of money that will help me pay for the things that I need to survive without working. In case this does happen by the time I am graduated, which will be in about two years, I will be left unemployed, and probably still living at home. I am pretty worried that this will make things worse for me, because I will for a certain, leave the house less, and therefore isolate me even more, which usually tends to worsen my depression. I just hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because despite my low interest in life, the money I will recieve will not only help me, but also my family. I'm kind of losing hope, and I feel as if school no longer holds any values, I have a feeling that my grades are gonna get worse, but as long as work isn't a problem, whats the point in putting in any effort?

Since I don't go outside unless I'm going to school, this hasn't happened all that much, but it still bothers me. There was one time when I was waiting for my ride to school, and an old lady walked past me and said hello, I nodded, since that's my way of saying hello, or to show that I heard them. But she just mumbled a mean comment underneath her breath and it genuienly ruined my day, I was so sad because I know that if I had only tried to at least whisper "hello", I maybe wouldnt have gotten that reaction. I was also inside a taxi another time, on my way to school, and an older lady sat beside me, she was talking on the phone and when she was done, she started asking me where I was going, and I was so uncomfortable because I was in a place where I couldnt just leave, so I forced myself to speak, but it was so quite and she told me to repeat myself, and I hated it so much, that also ruined my day. The driver had to intervene and told her that I didn't like talking, which was embarrassing, but I also felt really relieved. I know she wasn't trying to be mean, but she didn't really seem the nicest since she had made a back handed comment insulting the driver and the 3rd passenger. Other people can be like this too, but so far, it's mostly been people above the age of 50.

When people are making jokes, or are sarcastic in an obvious way where they are trying to be funny, should I laugh? I usually limit my emotion in public because I think forcing emotion on my face for strangers is beyond annoying. But sometimes people make jokes near me, like my teachers, and I don't know whether to laugh or not. While I know that it can be mean not to, I also think it might be mean to force a laugh just to not make the other person feel awkward. I sometimes laugh just because their joke made me nervous, but that laugh is mostly a giggle that very well might be a "please stop" giggle. Should I start fake laughing? My family usually all laugh when someone near us makes a joke, and I feel very weird being the only one quiet.