Going bad but I dont want to change it ?
Ive got an abusive boyfriend that gets angry at a lot and kinda just actually hits me, but then I fall into that thing of, I guess its more interesting than anything else I could be offered? And he's hot i guess. But yknow it scares the shit out of both of our families hearing shit thrown around the room. Any chance ive had at leaving though I just dont take it. Maybe its stockholm syndrome but thats not supposed to really exist. Have to imagine its not Actually effecting me well though since ive gone hard into alcoholism out of stress that things will go bad instead of good. But then, again, when things go bad I like to keep quiet and let it happen and ride through the storm? Might just be fucked. Im also trans and he's transphobic but that shit again where I get a slight enjoyment out of being controlled but then theres the countless times picking at my face for 20 mins cause something looks wrong. Dont really know what help I need or whatever if there's even anything to do for someone like me. Sad!