u/JackofAllMasterof0

Ok so for context, my wife and I are both self employed and own our own companies. We both work from home, but a majority of my work is spent at clients houses or out on installs, while her work is 100% from the home office. We have children in school or daycare from 8am-4pm. We both equally share the responsibility of pick ups and drop offs and have normally assigned days that we’re both responsible for based off other kids schedules.

My question comes from the time period between 8am-4pm. We have always used this time to attend to both work and personal needs, ie haircuts, gym, golf, pedicures, manicures, etc. We’ve been married for 4 years now, and have always had our locations on “shared” on our phones, for nothing more than safety in my mind.

My wife has started becoming upset because I’m not communicating my comings and goings as she would like. I don’t feel that I’m hiding anything, or doing anything inappropriate but I don’t understand the need to keep her up to date on my daily schedule unless it directly impacts her, or my ability to pick up a kid from school or get a shared task done.

This recently got exasperated yesterday morning. I took our 2 boys to school, a 45 min drive each way, then came back home. On the way home she texted me that she wasn’t feeling well, so I offered to take the 2 younger girls to daycare when I got home and save her the trip.

When I got back from day care she was laying down, and taking a nap (which I fully support, condone, endorse and suggest when she’s not feeling well or just wants to). At this point it’s about 8:30am, and I got some work done until 10am. I headed up to golf course to hit some range balls for a half hour, and then headed back home to get ready for afternoon pick ups. When I got home around 11am, I started to unload the dishwasher and my wife walks in the kitchen and says “how did you golf?”…

I was caught off guard, not because I wasn’t supposed to be golfing, but because I wasn’t sure how she knew. I replied with a short “good, thanks”, and went on to go pick up the kids for afternoon pick ups (early release day is so much fun).

This morning, almost 24 hours after, after it burned at me all night, I asked her why she was checking my location and her reply was that “I was gone for hours and she would never leave without telling me where she’s going”. I would never expect her or someone else, to wake me up from a nap to tell me they are doing something that doesn’t impact me.

I realize I’ve started to ramble now, but I’m just getting frustrated and need some insight from anyone who has dealt with anything similar. We have been battling a manager/employee in stead of a partnership dynamic and I feel like this is contributing to it.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time.