u/JacksChocolateCake

I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong here but open to learning! I used to volunteer with an amazing shelter for three years quite regularly where I just essentially cuddled and played with dogs and provided enrichment. That shelter was very good with its training and always made sure they informed me upfront of any risks.

Before I worked with any dogs, they assessed me on my training as well as my comfort, and together decided I am not comrtable with super reactive/aggressive dogs that are bite risks or are super big and strong and that I would not be able to safely handle. They were very good about emphasizing that volunteer and dog safety were important, and speaking up was important.

I moved and the new shelter I volunteer with really doesn’t have that same level of training. The other day, they handed me a dog that was really strong (a pitbull- although I really try not to judge based on dog species or type, he was just very strong) and as always, I asked if there's anything I should know about rhe dog and they said no. As I was leaving the building with the dog, someone came in at the same time and he got really reactive. I wasn't able to safely pull him away and it really scared me!

Thankfully no one got hurt but even after that they wanted me to still take him on a walk and warned me he might bite if he gets too close to people. I took him out for about 1 minute and turned right back around and brought him back. Later, I told them my comfort level and how I prefer dogs that are not super reactive/aggressive and are not a bite risk, so I can keep everyone safe.

The staff member I talked to got upset and said all dogs can bite and all they just match people based on what dogs are there. Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to seem too picky! But I also take dog safety seriously and have once seen a dog bite anothrr dog (not one I was handling) and the staff member at the time was able to jump in, but I can't say I would have been physically able to if that dog I had been walking did bite that person.

What do I do?

Lately I haven't been able to sleep until 5 or 6 am. Which is terrible since we do have a job that usually starts early. So sometimes just surviving on 2 hours of sleep. The weird thing is it's less of an anxious insomnia and more of someone really wanting to break free and do their own thing I think?

I guess just wanting to move desperately to another city/actually live in a city, party at night and do all the things we never got to do. Our job feels so so suffocating and so does our life. I already know im calling out sick tomorrow. I've been dreaming about just running away and blowing what little money we have on plane tickets.

I don't know how to fix this. We just had a break up and yeah i guess it made the rest of my life feel hollow. Normally i try so hard to live a normal life. Ive even been thinking of a regular 9 to 5 (we work part time). But that isn't going over so well... but we also desperately desperately need money. Like so bad.

What do you do with really conflicting desires?

I just started Lexapro after a break-up which meant losing a big part of our support system. It's only been a few days. At first it was great to just be calmer and go to sleep easier. But now I'm really resenting how numb and disconnected it makes us. I feel like most of us are blocked from not only fronting but just in general?

And one of my llittles is struggling so much with being present. She cries because she can't feel her emotions or herself.

I don't think it's worth it. I really hate how disconnected and out of control i feel on it. But that being said, the level of calm/fake happy felt good at first. Im sad because antidepressants never super worked in the past but i was hopeful it might help this timtime. Does anyone have this happen? Or any meds that do work?

After re-reading Away Childish Things by lettered for maybe the hundredth time, I'm desperate for more post-war Drarry fics that explore Harry’s childhood trauma. I also loved star splitter by oflights, and everything by gallaplacidia. A Soft Place to Fall by amomori is one of my favorites.

Running on Air by eleveleventy7 was also amazing, even if it didn't directly get into trauma, the effects of it were definitely there.

I honestly read way too much drarry fic (I'm thinking about writing my own at this point lol) so if there's anything out there that does a good job exploring a nuanced portrayal of mental health and trauma, and is well written, please recommend. Bonus for de-aging, and I really like a Draco who has grown a lot and is warm/kind/trying to change and heal.

Thank you!