u/JadeQuant

I’ve been thinking about the idea that men should “try everything” and not be afraid of new experiences.

In many areas of life, that mindset can be good. Trying new things builds confidence, experience, and courage.

But when it comes to porn, lust, and relapse, I think this idea can be dangerous.

I still remember the first time I was exposed to adult content. I was in middle school, and some classmates showed me a video from an East Asian country with a very taboo storyline involving a teacher and student. At the time, I wasn’t even that interested. It just felt like something new and strange.

But later, once I really started watching more, I got pulled in. It became hard to stop, especially during stressful times. Porn became like a kind of “digital junk food” for the brain — easy, stimulating, dark, and addictive.

That experience made me realize something:

Some things are not worth trying even once.

We often overestimate our self-control. We think we can see something, experience it, and then just walk away. But porn works directly against human nature. It targets curiosity, novelty, stress, loneliness, fantasy, and weakness.

A child who has never seen it may actually be stronger than an adult who has “experienced” it, because the child’s mind has not been imprinted by it yet.

I also know people in their 20s and 30s who have never watched porn. Their eyes seem clearer, their energy feels cleaner, and many of them are doing better in life. It made me question the idea that every experience makes you wiser.

Maybe wisdom is not trying everything.

Maybe wisdom is knowing what not to touch.

I’ve been thinking about whether different types of porn affect the mind differently.

For me, some Western adult content feels more direct and animalistic. It is still lustful and not good for retention, but sometimes it feels more like simple physical attraction, dominance, or mating instinct.

But with some Asian adult content, especially from certain countries, I feel like the damage can be deeper. It often adds heavy storylines, taboo themes, emotional manipulation, humiliation, power dynamics, and sometimes violence or unethical situations into the sexual content.

To me, that feels more dangerous than simple sexual imagery.

It does not just trigger lust. It enters the mind through story, psychology, shame, forbidden desire, and the darker parts of human nature. It can twist what a person finds exciting and make normal attraction feel boring.

It is a kind of narrative, not just a movie.

I also think a lot of men misunderstand the performers. Some people see them as innocent victims or objects of pity, but many of AV actors are very intelligent, strategic, and financially successful. Some have built huge followings, businesses, investments, crypto/memo projects, and personal brands. Some of them may end up far/super wealthier and freer than the poor men actively consuming their content.

That makes the situation even more strange.

The viewer may be sitting alone, losing energy, time, confidence, and discipline, while the performer is gaining money, status, and freedom from the viewer’s attention.

All is the attentions.

Do you think some porn is more toxic than other porn?

Is the real danger the sexual image itself, or the psychological story around it?

And do you think certain types of porn are designed to understand male weakness too well?

I’ve been thinking about something from my own experience, and I want to ask the community carefully.

When I don’t retain, I often feel like I become less masculine in a very noticeable way. I don’t mean feminine as an insult or a prejudice. I mean certain traits start to change.

For example, my voice feels weaker or softer. I become more emotionally sensitive, more cautious, more affected by other people’s opinions, and less confident. My physical energy drops a lot. I feel weaker, less aggressive, and less grounded. Even my face seems softer, and my overall presence feels less masculine.

This makes me wonder:

Is semen one of the key things that helps maintain masculine energy and masculine traits?

I know men and women both have estrogen and testosterone, but men generally have much higher testosterone. So I’m curious whether frequent ejaculation can affect the way masculine traits show up physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I’m not saying this as a scientific fact. I’m asking from experience and observation.

Do you think semen retention helps preserve masculine characteristics?

Do you feel more masculine when you retain?

And the effect is mainly hormonal, energetic, psychological, or something else?

Today was Friday, also monthly options expiration, and the S&P had a pretty interesting session.

We saw two consecutive false breakouts, and by the close it finished near the second-lowest area of the day. The daily candle also looked like a strong bearish candle with basically no lower wick.

To me, that kind of close after failed upside attempts does not look very healthy, especially on an OPEX day. It feels like bulls had chances to push higher but could not hold the breakout, and sellers took control into the close.

I’m curious how everyone is reading this going into Sunday night futures and Monday’s session.

Do you think this is just OPEX-related positioning / dealer flow noise, and we reset next week?

Or does today’s price action suggest a real short-term reversal or downside continuation?

Also watching whether ES can reclaim today’s breakdown area in the overnight session. If not, I feel like Monday could get interesting.

Would love to hear your levels and scenarios for next week.

I’ve been thinking about something deeper lately.

Retention has definitely helped me avoid a lot of chaos. I don’t know if I would call it “good luck,” but it feels like it protects me from certain bad situations, sudden problems, and self-destructive patterns.

At the same time, I wonder if a man still needs desire.

Not just sexual desire, but desire for success, money, women, status, achievement, and life itself. Sometimes it feels like desire is the fuel behind masculine ambition. Even a wild, animal-like hunger can push a man to move, build, compete, and win.

But since I started living more cleanly, eating more vegetarian food, keeping a strict routine, controlling my thoughts, and restraining my urges, I feel like I’ve become more focused on my inner world. I’m calmer, more aware, and less chaotic.

The question is: does this conflict with ambition?

Can a man be disciplined and spiritually clean while still having that aggressive hunger to succeed?

Or does too much self-control slowly weaken the raw desire that makes a man powerful?

I’m also wondering whether that wild animal drive has benefits that might sometimes outweigh the negative effects of lust. Maybe uncontrolled sexual desire brings chaos, but some form of desire is still necessary for greatness.

So I’m asking:

How do you balance retention with ambition?

How do you keep the fire without falling back into lust?

Is the goal to kill desire, or to transform it into purpose?

Curious to hear how others think about this.

From my own experience, certain foods seem to increase sexual urges pretty noticeably. The biggest one for me is pork, especially fried one. I don’t notice the same effect as strongly with chicken, beef, or lamb.

Some seafood also seems to have an effect, especially heavier seafood like large squid tentacles. But things like garlic or other heating foods don’t seem to make much difference for me.

What I’ve noticed is that after eating pork, my urges often become much stronger. It can lead to more sexual thoughts, more temptation to watch porn, and eventually a higher chance of relapse or ejaculation.

I’m not saying this is true for everyone, and I don’t know if there is a scientific explanation. But for me, the pattern feels very obvious.\

Have you noticed any connection between diet and urges?

Are there specific foods that make relapse more likely for you?

Do foods like pork, fried meat, seafood, sugar, spicy food, or heavy meals affect your sexual energy?

And do you think this is biological, psychological, or just personal sensitivity?

I’ve been thinking about something and I want to ask it carefully, because I don’t mean this as hatred toward women.

In modern society, especially in more developed and urban places, sexual openness seems much more common. People are more comfortable showing their bodies, using sexuality for attention, money, branding, or status, and treating the body almost like a form of capital.

I understand the other side too. Women’s rights, feminism, and personal freedom are important. I’m not saying women should have no freedom or that men should control them.

But from a male self-discipline point of view, I do think this culture creates a difficult environment.

When sexuality is everywhere, men are constantly pulled into fantasy, lust, comparison, porn, masturbation, and weakness. It becomes harder to stay grounded. Over time, I feel like this can reduce masculine energy. More men start feeling useless, passive, addicted, and disconnected from purpose.

So my question is:

Can a society become more sexually free while still helping men and women stay responsible?

Because sometimes it feels like women’s sexual liberation and men’s decline are happening at the same time. Maybe that is not because women are the cause, but because the whole culture has turned sex, bodies, and attention into products, (esp. in social media).

Personally, I think both men and women have responsibility here.

Men need discipline, purpose, and control over their own minds.

Women also have power in shaping the moral and sexual atmosphere of society, and I think it is better when that power is used with dignity rather than just for attention or money.

I’m not arguing for hatred, control, or blame. I’m asking whether modern sexual culture itself is damaging men’s development, and whether a more modest, responsible culture would be healthier for everyone.

Curious how others here see this.

I’ve seen a lot of people here say that after a relapse, weird bad luck seems to happen. I’ve felt this too, and I’m curious how people explain it without bringing in religion or karma.

I understand the direct effects: low energy, brain fog, shame, weaker focus, less confidence, worse social presence, slower thinking, etc. If someone is deep into porn or compulsive masturbation, it makes sense that it affects their body, behavior, and mind.

But what about the random external stuff?

Conflicts, missed chances, awkward situations, things going wrong, people reacting differently to you. Sometimes it feels like life starts pushing back right after relapse, even when the events seem unrelated.

From a scientific or psychological point of view, what could be happening here?

Is it just confirmation bias?

Does relapse change our mood and perception so we notice negatives more?

Do guilt and low confidence make us act differently, which then creates worse outcomes?

Or is there some deeper behavioral / nervous system explanation?

I’m not trying to make a supernatural claim. I just want to understand why so many people seem to notice this pattern.

Curious what you guys think.

Hey everyone,

I have been practicing semen retention / nofap for around 2–3 years, but there is still one question what exactly counts as a relapse?

I understand the obvious cases, such as intentionally masturbating to orgasm or watching porn and ejaculating. But when I think more deeply about it, the boundaries become less clear. For example:

Does relapse only mean that semen is released?

If there is no full ejaculation, but there is precum or prostate fluid, does that count?

Does it only count if thick white semen comes out?

What about a wet dream? In that case, semen is released, sometimes even more than during certain forms of edging or stimulation, but it happens unconsciously and without deliberate choice.

Or is relapse less about the physical release itself and more about the mental and spiritual state behind it?

For example, watching porn, fantasizing, edging, lusting, or emotionally feeding sexual thoughts. Even if there is no ejaculation, maybe the real relapse is giving power back to lust and weakening your mind.

This is where I get confused.

If relapse is purely physical, then wet dreams would seem to count, even though they are not intentional. But that does not feel right to me.

If relapse is mostly mental, then the issue becomes harder to measure. A man’s emotional state, values, and relationship with lust change slowly over time. It is not always obvious in the short term whether one moment of lustful thinking has truly broken the path or whether it is simply something to observe and correct.

From my own experience, I agree the benefits of retention are very real. I do believe this practice helps a man return to himself, build discipline, and live with more strength and clarity. But I still struggle to define exactly where the line is.

So I wanted to ask the community:

In your view, what counts as a relapse?

Is it ejaculation?

Is it intentional ejaculation?

Is it porn?

Is it lustful intention?

Is it losing control of your mind?

And are there situations where fluid is released, but you would not consider it a relapse?

I would really appreciate hearing how more experienced people here define this, especially in a practical way that helps someone stay honest without becoming obsessive.