Bhairava Sadhana: Fear, Anger, and the Things We Keep Avoiding
I've been thinking about Bhairava Sadhana, and one idea keeps coming back to me:
Perhaps the real purpose isn't to become powerful. It's to stop running away from ourselves.
Many people approach Bhairava expecting mystical experiences or dramatic transformation. Those experiences may come, but perhaps they aren't the real point in my opinion.
Bhairava makes you face what you spend your life avoiding.
For most of us, two of the biggest things are fear and anger.
Fear
Fear isn't only fear of death or physical danger.
It can be:
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of failure
- Fear of losing status
- Fear of what people think
- Fear of uncertainty
- Fear of being alone
Sometimes fear hides so well that we call it practicality, caution, maturity, or realism. We convince ourselves we're making objective choices when we're really avoiding discomfort.
Perhaps Bhairava doesn't simply remove fear. Instead, sadhana teaches you to look at fear without automatically obeying it.
>Fearlessness may not mean having no fear.
>It may mean not allowing fear to control your actions.
A person who has never faced fear isn't necessarily brave. Courage may simply be the willingness to move forward despite it.
And Then There Is Anger
There is another uncomfortable aspect of Bhairava Sadhana that is rarely discussed.
Sometimes, anger can actually increase during sadhana.
Things that were buried can suddenly come to the surface. Irritation becomes sharper. Reactions become more intense. Sometimes the anger comes out abruptly—a sudden blast, almost as if something sitting underneath has finally broken through.
It can be confusing.
>"I'm doing sadhana. Why am I becoming more angry?"
Perhaps the sadhana isn't creating a new anger.
Perhaps it is bringing what was already inside us to the surface.
And this is where Bhairava becomes especially important.
The answer isn't to justify every outburst as "part of sadhana." Nor is it simply to suppress the anger.
It has to be seen, endured, understood, and gradually transformed.
Sometimes beneath anger is fear. Sometimes attachment. Sometimes wounded pride or the need to remain in control.
Sadhana gives us an opportunity to see what is actually underneath our reaction.
Sometimes the anger can feel too powerful to handle through our own effort.
This is where surrender becomes important.
>The same Bhairava who brings what is hidden to the surface is also the one who can help the sadhaka pass through it.
Perhaps this is one of the harsher lessons of Bhairava Sadhana:
What needs to be transformed may first have to be seen.
And what is seen is not always pleasant.
The fears we deny.
The anger we justify.
The attachments we defend.
The stories we tell ourselves.
>Perhaps Bhairava's greatest grace is not that He removes every darkness within us.
>Perhaps His grace is that He refuses to let us keep hiding from it.
Om Bhairavaya Namah.
Offered at the lotus feet of my Master.