u/Jaded_Phone_717

Friends comments...

Idk what to do and I know this shouldn't bother me but I'm just struggling and don't know how to react.

My friend is a close friend for almost two years now. She knows I sh and knows about hospitalisations, therapy, etc. There have been a few things she brings up that I have asked her not to talk about in front of me (eg seeing someone else's scars, I just said "oh yeah but could we not talk about it in front of me- there was someone else there at that point). If she's struggling I neverrrr tell her to stop of whatever, I just feel like I keep setting these boundaries of things I can't cope with hearing about or talking about and she doesn't care to stop.

I hit my limit the other day, she was telling me how a young girl she now lives with is struggling and they need to take stuff off her, lock things up, etc. and talking about how annoying it is, and the whole conversation had this negative tone to it ('its just that age, there's girls at school doing it, etc) that kinda dismissed what was happening (I don't even know this girl and I feel bad for her!). I tried multiple times to move the conversation away and eventually said I can't talk about it (I was driving at the time and wasn't in a position to keep myself safe and stuff), the call dropped out and I didn't answer when she called back and I think she's mad at me now.

I am just so frustrated with constantly having to reset boundaries that are there to keep me safe. I am having some other issues with this friend constantly acting like everything I do is wrong but am not in a position to completely cut them off, we will still see each other regularly in a close capacity because of what we do. I am just so frustrated with being dismissed and not understood (I am also autistic and idk if that's impacting this).

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u/Jaded_Phone_717 — 11 days ago

I didn't know how to title this so it's probs not that but oh well!

I was wondering (esp from current therapists) whose job it is to watch the time in session? there is no clock where I am and I dont wear a watch so the only way for me to watch the time is to check my phone which feels weird during a session!

A little while ago my therapist made a comment along the lines of "your really good with timing, im only ever a couple of minutes late and we always go ten minutes over".

I never mean to do it, I just genuinely don't know what time it is!! I have just always presumed it was their job to watch the clock and start wrapping things up a few mins before, but he never tries to stop anything, and sometimes just all of a sudden goes ok we have to stop, or like mid convo goes ok when are you free next time... idk it's probs normal its just my last therapist would start slowly ending the session 5 mins before and this one knows I dont do well with change and transitions and such (im having some other issues with him too he's not very understanding of my communication challenges).

I will also note this year he has never once been less than 10 minutes late to session. I truely dont care, therapists are busy and stuff but the comment made me feel weird and now im so conscious of the clock I can't focus on anything else...

Is it my job or his??? if it is mine I need to get better at watching and not making it weird!!

reddit.com
u/Jaded_Phone_717 — 24 days ago