Curious and questioning AuDHD
I am 23 years old and was recently diagnosed with ADHD and currently using medication which has helped a lot. I’ve suspected having autism and/or adhd for the past couple years.
My question to y’all is what are some of the “symptoms” you recognized more that didn’t “click” with adhd while on or off of medication? I’d like to know as much as possible no matter how obscure or relatable, thank you in advance!
Some more information about me:
Some things I always thought since I was little is that I was “different” and felt like an alien. I have a lot of difficulty socializing and would rehearse conversations to be ready for them.
I’m most comfortable in situations where I have to talk when it feels more “scripted” or there’s a specific flow, like at work or talking with a doctor.
Small talk feels impossible for me although practice over so long I’ve gotten better (at least I think so). I’ve always felt unapproachable or that people don’t tend to interact with me the way they do with others.
I’m still confused about the whole “social cues” because I’m not sure exactly what I’d be missing sometimes I feel like I don’t miss them but it’s just all too confusing to me.
Depending on who I’m with (different friend groups of varying comfortability, strangers, customers, family) there always seems to be a different “version” of me that I am. I eventually chose to create a “persona” and that persona had the traits I wanted to be like and I would try to be that way around everyone so that I could be likeable.
Eye contact has always been something I struggled with.
If I’m having a good time with my friends it seems the more fun I have the more exhausted and sometimes depressed I am the next day.
My eating habits are consistently the same I love plain food and eating the same things and rotating through the different foods I enjoy.
Unplanned events or chores can ruin my mood although with medication I’ve gotten better about it. At its worst I’ve punched objects in anger.
I fidget and relate to a few stims that I’ve seen others mention.
Off my medication my bodies temperature regulation just doesn’t work. I’ve always been told if someone touches my hand they’re always like “wow your hands are so cold” it was to the point I thought I had anemia or something but blood tests ruled that out.
I have comfort clothes I will always choose to wear even if it’s “inappropriate” such as gym shorts. Specific textures I just enjoy so much more. Pants feel too suffocating.
I tend to enjoy having an organized schedule but I can venture away from it quite a bit. It’s like the schedule is there automatically I don’t tend to physically create one.
I’m very bad with emotionally supporting anyone really.
I’ve always had a strong sense of justice, I see that that’s a recurring theme.
I used to repeat phrases a lot but just felt like I annoyed the people around me (usually at work) so I’ve stopped myself from doing that although with people I’m comfortable with I’ll still do it.
Certain very specific things I have trouble with sensory wise like getting my hair cut or those shirt tags that you can feel at the back of your neck my parents would always have to cut them off.
I was always told I was sensitive emotionally and when it came to loud noises although as I got older at least sounds don’t bother me as much. The only exception to that would be somewhere where there’s very loud music at, for example, a club. I would only be able to tolerate that for so long.
I have some special interests or games I enjoy that I tend to rotate around and that rotation can come around through weeks, months, occasionally years.
If you read all that, then thank you for listening. I didn’t intend for it to be that much but I just kept typing and typing haha.