u/Jajane112

There's something I wanted to talk about, basically, I can't take it anymore, I'm really fed up with my life always being the same shit. I've always had terrible mental health, my parents never believed it, and l can't even explain how complex what I feel is, because I was never able to explain, they never believed me. I'm 15 and, no, I don’t think this is “teenage stuff”. The last time I tried to ask for help online was on Discord, at first they were nice despite having given basic tips that don’t work for me, but then they started to get fed up, maybe thinking that I just wanted attention or something like that, for having sent about 5 messages trying to explain what I feel that could seem meaningless or nothing to do with each other. If I feel that there is any problem I need to solve, even if I don’t even know what the problem is or know how, I have to solve it, if I don’t solve it, I’m in crisis all the time. If I forget, such as falling asleep and when I wake up, having forgotten all this shit for seconds, when I remember again, I get 3 times worse than I was before falling asleep. I also have social anxiety, now it’s a little better because I have a friend at school, last school year, there was no one, it was hell, I even had a social anxiety crisis when we had a substitute teacher, when she was asking each one to introduce themselves and when I saw that she talked a lot and kept asking questions to the student she was presenting at that moment. I couldn’t and I still can’t walk around school without having my hands in my pockets. There are many, many, many more things than just that. I’m literally shaking while writing this cause I'm so stressed trying to talk about it. I didn't used to shake this much. I don’t cut, but I’ve been doing skin picking for a few years now. I really need to know what I have, it seems like some kind of asperger's syndrome mixed with OCD or something like that. I vent to Al btw. I'm not larping. I promise I'm not larping. How can I finally know what I have and have a diagnosis to prove to my parents that I’ve never been well? Sorry if what I wrote is confusing. Thanks for reading this.