Trying to friends with a performer
I regret trying to reconnect with a "friend" (ima refer to her as K) from school. I remembered how everyone would compare us just cause we looked slightly similar and kinda did the same things when we were younger but... I also remembered her differently than others though.
When we were younger she always wanted to be the center of a boy's attention or be around people who were always getting into trouble. I was right around the corner (living wise), she rarely ever came to see me alone.... she always brought this girl who i never really liked around. The one girl even was trying to get her in trouble at a store her father frequents. They came over once and tried stealing my iPad and were trying to run into my room when id invite HER over (i never invited the other girl over, she just tagged along and I went with it to not be "weird"), them not entering my room was a boundary I verbalized. "Yall can come in but dont go to my room" and they'd try to distract me and whisper things to one another just to try to sneak their way into my room. Anyways...
I moved away briefly in highschool and became disconnected with her cause she was living with a boyfriend of hers while in highschool.... but I came back to visit and paid for tickets for the both of us to go to a tattoo convention (i had no real job but I made it happen), she went ghost on me to stay in a smelly room with a sick dirty boy (who wasnt her borfriend) and he, who had a girlfriend... it was strange cause I didnt find out where she was until I reconnected with her recently (i was literally outside til 9pm waiting for her, texting everyone to make sure she was good... no one heard from her, she literally disappeared).
Ive recently realized she talked her way out of my life, I can only forgive so much, let so much slide... im not the most confrontational person cause every time I have been upfront, people blindside me with fake emotions OR try to fight, so I give stuff time, vocalize what i can and end up distancing (which is what happened). I told her i felt disconnected with her after I reconnected (most recently) with her because I told her i just wanted to travel and create (which is another story in itself cause we went on a trip together, literally if it werent for my other friend being there seeing the weird shit happening i would have hated every second of that trip). She ultimately used my time to talk shit about my best friend (who is still my best friend and was supposedly "her bestifriend" too... somehow but K slept with my bestfriend's man and tried to make it my bestfriends fault... who was literally in walking distance, crying and drinking, from the situation K could have left from... basically.), steal my things (she took 5/6 of my jackets... proceeded to almost give one to a man she knew, she only returned ONE JACKET & IT WAS THE JACKET I WORE TO MY BESTFRIENDS (yesterday, the same bestfriend) BABY SHOWER... THE ONLY JACKET SHE RETURNED BTW), she took my airpod and proceeded to "lose it", she drunk all my liquor (i barely drink so she saw the opportunity to drink all my Lalo, didnt realize it until she was damn near drunk avoiding going to work).
I told her i felt disconnected from her and it was wrong of me to even reach out and continue this friendship as if I knew her or wanted her to know me.... she did not like that, blew my phone up, trying to talk or whatever tf that was.... she was just acting desperate, I didnt notice it. Desperate to be apart of my life and be around the people that liked me.... she was even trying to reminisce about MY ex for some reason (she blamed the alcohol) but I found it disrespectful and disgusting cause she used alcohol as a mask to be a shitty person towards me. Anyways, I told her distance is fine... but she wanted to hang out so badly i guess. So i guess... I forgave her??? We moved on... hung out on New Year's with HER fake friends... and she proceeded to talk about my bestfriend AGAIN, IN THE CLUBBBBBBBBBBB LOUD MUSIC AND ALL... I had to kinda push her back cause tf are u talking about.
AS TIME WENT ON I REALIZED SHE WANTED TO BE MEEEEEEEEEE! Im not the baddest biddie walking but she'd try to compete with my understandings, my intellect, my actions, everything... I just wanted to have young dumb fun and it turned into her unconsciously or consciously competing with me.
Once, we were talking to this guy (she knew) and he made a comment about my hair and she couldnt wait to be like "noo my hair was longer, you havent seen my hair long" (she decided to cut her hair like shortly after I did)... she was strange. She made me feel confused about what was happening around me on multiple occasions... she was rude, spiteful and sneaky... I have my "rude" moments but I could never be sneaky or spiteful cause I have too much heart and want everyone ti have a good human experience while around me or in general. She'd constantly be talking about "shitting on bitches from school" but when she got around them... she acted like they were soulmates. Idk. I can fully say now, I wish i never wasted my time trying to be friends with her when she never had the capacity to be a friend to me.