u/Jazzlike-Novel-1134

I teased this story, so I will deliver. The same annoying, arrogant co-worker that stole an office from two people would sit in his office playing solitaire most of the day. We found out because he was allegedly having some performance issues, so we collected data on his machine and saw that solitaire was running all the time. So, I opened the solitaire executable in notepad and just deleted some characters and resaved it. The result was that opening it would cause it to immediately crash (obviously I had corrupted the executable). We got a ticket within a few hours that "programs were crashing on his machine and we needed to fix it ASAP". I calmly asked him which programs and he said, "lots of them". I asked him to call me the next time something crashed and note what he was doing and to leave the crash popup on the screen (which would tell you what program crashed) and I would come right over. He never called back about programs crashing.

This was years ago. I worked at a small marketing company in IT. They had a couple of us IT people sharing a decent-sized office. It had a nice southern view. The company, in it's infinite wisdom, hired this pompous PhD whose only qualification was that wrote a book about marketing. In his first week he decided everyone was doing everything wrong despite having no actual experience in the field. Anyhow, he was an ass with no humility and he rubbed all the staff the wrong way, the management loved him because he was a BS artist who told them he would make them all the money with his revolutionary ideas about market research. He earned a PhD (in marketing let's remind ourselves - he wasn't curing cancer) so he thought he was smarter and more valuable than everyone else even though most of out revenue was based on the computer system IT wholly supported and customized. He decided that he wanted the office IT had. The company agreed that they would move the two of us to a smaller office that was really only big enough for one person, but we would both have to share it. We were literally told we had to move out the same day they informed us because Dr. VonDouchebag wanted to settle into the new office. So, while we were scrambling to get our stuff out, I got on a chair and pushed the AC vent up into the ceiling and slid a spare tile in it's place. I did the same thing with the air return, so the office was sealed. We moved out and Dr. Dementia moved in. The first day I knew we were going to love the show because he immediately closed his door so nobody could see him probably not working (I found out later he spent a lot of his time playing Solitaire - and that is another revenge story). It was May, in North Carolina, so it was already warm outside. By June, he would show up to afternoon meetings visibly sweating. He never thought to call maintenance about the temperature, so much for PhD-level smarts.