u/Jenneapolis

I've seen a recent surge online of the "single and happy crowd" - the women who swear up and down that the secret to a happy life is to be single. The 4B movement. They claim their life is extremely peaceful without a male partner, they are thriving, and essentially point to is as the secret to a peaceful life.

I lived alone for 20 years. I was in relationships with men, but I refused to move in until marriage. And I didn't feel happy or peaceful living alone. I always yearned to have people around. I did a good job being alone, it wasn't like I was sad and devastated every day or anything. I loved my place and functioned fine but it wasn't this blissful peaceful secret to life I see these women talking about.

So I wanted to hear the community's thoughts - what is going on with these women? Are they just not like me, perhaps more independent? Is it just a cope? Will it persist throughout their lives into old age? What is going on with this crowd?

What is the best RPW approach to dealing with the silent treatment after an argument? Say you have apologized for your part in the argument, but this is still the path your husband decides to go down.

I am on my second round of my husband using the silent treatment after an argument. He will talk briefly about logistics (i.e. ask me if he can start the dishwasher, etc.) but essentially only sleeps in bed next to me and spends the rest of the time in his office or out of the house. No talking, no affection, no time together. The first bout of this lasted for 4 days until I finally really pushed him to resolve it and also my grandmother died and I had to travel home so I think that broke the tension as he wanted to make up before I left and knew it was the right thing to do to console me. Now I'm on day 2 of this round, I apologized 15 min after the fight for my part. He did not apologize for his part. He told me he was going to "take distance" and that we should both just "do our own thing."

My gut instinct on RPW advice is, after apologizing, to give him the space and let him come back to you. Pursue your own life, focus on self care and doing things that bring you happiness, act unbothered, and let it play out.

But on the other side, I feel like it's a form of punishment to me and am now concerned this is becoming a pattern. It's hard to live like this and not knowing when or how it will end.

What has worked for you?