u/JimmyD787

Anyone else think this is odd lmao maybe some project blue beam in here?

I matched with this girl on tinder a couple weeks ago. We immediately connected over music, video games, and I took her number and started texting her. She lives three hours away from me so we FaceTimed around five times and vibes were genuinely great. I could tell she really liked me and I really liked her.

She left me know on our first face time that she wasn’t looking for anything serious right now. That her mental health isn’t where it needs to be and she’s not ready to have a long term relationship. I told her I was looking for a long term relationship and I could put that aside and just enjoy her company for what it was, cause she seemed like a fun person.

We live three hours away from eachother, and she drove up on a Monday night to meet me for the first time, and we had an amazing time. I tried my best to make the night special, we had sex, and cuddled for hours. She told me she loves when I kiss her, that when we stare into each others eyes the dopamine is too much for her to handle. She made a lighthearted joke about how cute our kids would be, and even asked me if I’d ever move closer to her. Naturally, my brain starts thinking maybe she does want to be a little more serious with me.

The morning after we spend the day together, we go to a store and I buy her a cute coaster, I buy her dinner, and I give her a hoodie that smells like me before she drives home. She tells me it was absolutely worth the drive, and that she can’t wait to see me again. I would plan on seeing her the coming weekend.

During the time leading up, I text her and the responses are slightly drier. She leaves me on read for longer. So I start getting anxious that she might be seeing other people. I knew she wanted nothing serious, but with the way that first date went and the level of intimacy present, I figured maybe her perspective shifted.

The weekend approaches and I drive to see her. We’re hanging out and I get really anxious and tell her that the drive may not seem worth it if there isn’t some level of emotional investment. I tell her we don’t need anything serious but maybe exclusivity would be good, as I found out she was talking to another guy while talking to me, and going on dates with this other guy. She tells me she doesn’t know me well enough to grant me that. That she needs space cause she can’t enter into something that resembles a serious relationship for a long long time. I think throughout this convo I really was very emotionally vulnerable. She told me she was happy I thought it up, and that she appreciates me being honest with her. We proceed to have a great weekend, and at the end, she tells me to consider how I feel and tell her if I want to keep the casual relationship going. She tells me about trips we should go on together, what we’ll do the next time we see eachother, and we cuddle for a while before kissing and her saying she was going to miss me until we get to see eachother again.

I leave, feeling positive about the conversation. Over the next few days though, I realize how dumb it was for me to have this conversation, how my anxiety truly got the best of me. The conversation was wayyyyy too early to bring up, but it was bugging me and I just wanted some clarity on how she viewed us. The uncertainty really made me question what was truly going on. I wish I hadn’t brought it up at all honestly.

She’s stopped texting me. We talked briefly the day I left, then I sent her a text about an edm show coming up we should go to as that something we talked about, and then I sent her the following:

I want to let you know I thought about our convo and I feel like I def got ahead of myself. Was reading too far in between the lines, cause I really do like you. I really appreciate you being upfront and providing clarity with me, cause I ultimately was just wondering where your head was at. Id be more than happy to continue seeing each other as we have been, if you’re up for it too

Was this text bad?? She hasn’t responded for a couple days now. She did mention having a little space over the next couple weeks but I’m worried I fumbled this.

TLDR: I had a great casual relationship with a girl, my anxiety got the best of me and I feel like I pushed her away.

Edit: k would like to add that, during the convo we had, I told her that normally casual is totally fine with me, but I do like her and the level of intimacy she was showing was making me wonder if we could have something more serious. She told me she really liked me too, but she didn’t know me well enough for that