u/Jinxicatt

As a kid, I read a book about a boy (?) who lived in a cabin with his family I think, like in the woods/mountains. But he was great at climbing and every day climbed to the top of a pole to balance and look out at the woods or something.

I feel like maybe there was an element of romance with a girl who lived nearby? And I remember it had sort of Appalachian vibes…

Terrible description but it’s bugging me if anyone has suggestions as to what this book might have been!

This is a long shot, but was wondering if any Billings Clinic people know how much a SUS/charge nurse makes there?

From a Kalispell nurse buddy 😬

I’m full-time night charge on a busy PCU. Had a crazy start to the shift with several new admits, everyone deciding to poop at once, and a couple very unstable patients who were making me worry.

We have no aides (3:1 ratio) and all of the nurses were in rooms so I run to grab a call light. I walk in, smiling pleasantly, but didn’t even get to say anything before the barrage.

“This is unacceptable, my medicine was due at 9pm! It is now 9:15pm. If I’d known I would be treated this way, I would never have agreed to come here!”

For context, this patient is here for Tikosyn loading which requires an EKG to be taken 2hrs after every dose. Idk why the providers insist on scheduling the medication this late but they do. I start by trying to acknowledge her frustration, I WOULD have even just gone to grab the med myself, but she kept speaking over me until I stopped and just stood there until the rant ran out.

Then I said “I am sorry you feel this way. We can discuss the timing of your medication with the provider in the morning if you would like. Unfortunately your nurse has other patients she is helping and I do have people dying who will get priority over you at times. I will be sure to send someone your way as soon as they are available.” And I left. As I closed the door I heard her say “dying?” Followed by some loud sniffles.

I’m just so over the boomer tantrums but what do you all think, did I go too far?

I (35F) and my husband (37M) have been living together for 12 years, married for 4. When I first met him, I was living in my car and dealing with a lot of relationship problems - separating from my very religious parents, leaving what was basically a cult, and really just learning who I was for the first time. Husband was very steady - a low level manager at my job, had his own apartment, a very calm human who seemed kind and easy to get along with.

Long story short, we hooked up within a few days of meeting and I moved in. And honestly things were good - I got established at my job and started community college, and he was super supportive.

Then about two years into the relationship our intimacy simply vanished. He began turning me down for sex repeatedly until I stopped asking, citing back pain, but wouldn’t go to the doctor. Everything outside of sex was great, his time was all accounted for so I didn’t believe he could be cheating, and our free time together felt like just the best of friends hanging out.

This went on for about 4 years, during which time we had literally 0 sex. He knew I wanted it because I told him so every few months. And he would still want hugs and kisses and would still engage in kind of teasing sexual touch until I started physically shoving him away any time he came around. I adopted a strict hands-off policy and threw myself into work, school, and fitness.

Eventually he expressed wanting to start having sex again. I was starved for this type of attention and readily agreed without much thought. But now letting him touch me feels like nails on a chalkboard,

Presently, we’ve had pretty open conversations about this time. He knows how much he hurt me and has apologized. He’s never given a clear specific answer for why he stopped being sexual with me (he’s offered several reasons ranging from my political beliefs at the time being a turn-off to having hang ups from previous relationships).

We now have sex once a week which is never really pleasurable for me because I am so in my head about this rejection. It doesn’t help that he isn’t the best at offering emotional support or reassurance (he was just this year diagnosed with high-functioning autism which does explain some of that).

Obviously there’s a lot more but I’m wondering if anyone has experience with being able to forgive a repeated rejection like this? Any tips for steps forward? We are working on finding a marriage counselor and I’m in personal therapy but this just eats away at me.

Please no “just divorce him,” I have and am still considering it but I am looking for creative solutions as well. He is my best friend and we have an extremely established life together, divorcing him would basically put me back living in my car with no social group to speak of.

TLDR; husband rejected me and refused sex for 4 years, any suggestions for learning forgiveness?