I understand Arsenal as they have the champions league final but Man City have nothing to rest for so why are people thinking key players might be benched?
I need to get his off my chest hence posting here.
My girlfriend who I have been with for 3 years, told me at the start of our relationship that her brother, when they were kids, around 12 I believe, had sexually abused her. This involved ‘fingering’, touching and feeling parts amongst other things. She cannot remember if penetration happened as it has been blurred out of her mind but it happened more than once and she doesn’t rule this out from happening. I am the only person she has ever told.
As of today, they have a healthy relationship and get on really well. However, from my perspective, I hate him with every bone in my body, for obvious reasons. He took advantage of his own little sister and abused her to the point that her brain has blurred the incident(s) out, she just has this is a vague memory. She gets upset discussing it, of course.
I really struggle with this, as she sees him every week at her parents and everything is normal. Personally I cannot understand this at all that she is ‘okay’ with this. From her standpoint, she doesn’t want to ever bring this up as it will ‘destroy the family’ and I don’t think she wants to relive the trauma - i understand her wishes but I can’t say I agree. Of course I support her so I haven’t told her I disagree with keeping it hush but it’s her life and her wishes. Her younger sister also committed suicide around 6 years ago so this further bolsters her idea of not wanting it to destroy the family.
We live together and as time goes on, there are lots of events / meet ups with her family where he is there. 9 times out of 10, I say I can’t go, either make up I am ill or just say that I am too uncomfortable being in the same room as him. If I had it my way, I would go to prison for what I would do to him. The rare occasions that I am there and he is there, I will avoid him and be at the very maximum, civil.
It hasn’t yet but it is slowly creeping in that’s it’s beginning to be a strain on our relationship. We would never break up over it of course as it’s not her fault and it’s my hill to get over… but I just can’t. Perhaps my weakness. I really struggle seeing them getting on fine knowing what he did. I think in honesty, she doesn’t realise the full severity of what’s happened or as mentioned it is just completely blocked out.
Tomorrow, he is having a surprise 30th and I cannot bring myself to go and be in a place of celebration for him. To me, he is the devil in sheep’s clothes. No one knows apart from me what happened and of course I will never bring it up as it isn’t my trauma. (Am I wrong for not wanting to go? She doesn’t want me there for support as she has seen him nearly every week (for her niece, his daughter (🚨)), it would just be so that I can see her family)
I understand I can only be there for her and respect her wishes to keep it private but for me personally I’m really struggling to ever see him and as he is an active part of her life, it does cause a strain.
I will never understand how she can continue to have a good relationship with him but that’s not for me to understand, I just have to be there for her.
Just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading