SO I bought Minecraft account and original owner recover it. So I write to support of seller and they gave me refund. Now it’s over or they can do something about it or it’s refund and now just wait for refund to process (language is polish)
I have ADHD (diagnosed and confirmed by a psychiatrist), and I hate myself for it. I can't even stay silent for five minutes. I say truly idiotic things (like jokes that no one finds funny, which makes me feel bad because I realize once again how irritating I am).
I can't keep certain feelings to myself (falling in love is a separate topic, which I'll get to in a moment). My self-esteem is nonexistent. Every time I hear laughter, I think it's coming from me (actually, it usually is).
Falling in love is weird for me. I can get attached to someone in a split second. The cycle is the same: I start liking someone, we start talking. There's always too much of me because I can't go a few seconds without dreaming up worst-case scenarios in my head, thinking I'm annoying, so I try even harder, and in the end, I get ignored.
My true emotions never come out because I hate being noticed. At the same time, the lack of constant stimulation from others makes me feel like I have to say something, because the current silence is awful.
I'm also developing a porn addiction (I've been doing it a dozen times a day for 7-8 years). My love and relationship with others is so warped that I can't think about people in any other way than this.
Also my parents and everyone say I am not doing anything when getting up from bed it’s like Hercules work.
I just want to know if there's any way I can stop being myself, which I hate. I am so sorry for this paragraph I hope it’s not too long.