So I'm of 16 and a citizen of India. I'm aplatonic as well as afamilial. I got a girlfriend at school. So as I said earlier, I can't form any love or genuine relation with family nor friends so when she came to my life so became my only support and emotional core. I love her intensely and she also loves me. But here's the problem, she is extrovert and I'm an introvert. I'm also very possessive due to my insecurities and other tendencies. She have many male friends due to her past,I'll not share because of her privacy, and I feel very uncomfortable.. she is very close yo her male friends, talks with them, laughs with them, chat with them, spend time with them...I feel very...negative. She is opposite of me, I don't understand why freinds are important while she has many close friends. I'm like a child, I need attention and love due to my tendencies but she isn't able to provide it. I easily get gloomy and start getting negative thoughts. We've discussed many times and she says she'll do better. But it only lasts for a while before returning to previous state. She have more tutions then be and I know she stays busy studying but still... I feel very neglected because of it. I want to break up as it great toll to my mental health but I never ask her for as then I'll get a heavy afteraffect, she got many people to support her but I have none. I feel bad when she talks and laughs with other as I think she's enjoying herself while I'm suffering, she knows about everything but still is doing nothing. My parents too, they just keeps high expectations from me without even having a good talk with me and always says about being good grades...this mixed with my romantic relationship problems damages me mentally. I weep very often, I also started self harm, and have frequent suicidal thoughts.
I feel like I'm the worst boyfriend she can have and but she still loves me and wants to stay with me...
I feel so guilty...