u/Juni_Juniper

Feeling ugly? Fix what you can and practice acceptance

Don't like your body? Fix your diet and fitness and practice acceptance

Don't like your house? Clean, reorganize, decorate or save up for a new one, and practice acceptance

Don't like your job? Work within your bounds to make it better or switch, and practice acceptance

Same with your college, car, partner, friends, etc....it's easy to absorb an unrealistic idealized picture perfect version of your life....until you learn about class divide and wealth disparity.

It kind of sucks, since in your head, you might view yourself as always having a bit of ugliness/any other negative quality trait, and at times, it can seem that everything you do to overcome it seems like you trying to distract yourself from your reality, trying to distract yourself by coping.

I guess that's where gratitude and reducing anything that prompts comparison, like social media, comes into play.

Sure, I might be coping, but hey. I could have been born in much worse conditions.

Growing up, I was blessed to have hardworking parents who were able to put me in private school. Both my mother and father worked. But as I grew older, I couldn't help compare myself to my classmates. As it was an expensive private school, obviously, more richer girls attended. I was always mesmerized by some of their houses I'd been too (Although this might be a weak point. I haven't been to every single classmates house, but it wasn't just my class, so many girls across many grades were richer than me). Same thing happened in my undergraduate, where the richer girls, who were so stylish and very beautiful, came from wealthy families. I'm so envious, I can't help it. I dislike checking my insta stories too, as many of my highschool classmates went abroad and are studying in such good countries whereas I'm stuck in my homecountry (India) due to poor planning and lack of money (yes I agree there is a confirmation bias as I haven't seem every single person, but a lot of my close friends and people I interacted a lot with are abroad).

I don't blame my parents for that. A lot of things in life are related to look. It could have been so much worse, but I'm glad I got to go to a nice school. I've also started to regret my majors (psychology) and turned down an expensive masters program in a really good university because I felt guilty about spending so much money for something with such a low ROI (despite my parents willing to pay).

How is this relevant? Because it shows the stark reality of my situation. I would have never thought like this in school cause I would have also considered myself somewhat rich, but it's do humbling and dissapointing to find out about class divide and ones station in life. I instead took admission in a govt college (scored 1st rank), but the facilities are so poor that, this is a horrible thing to admit, compared to my past experiences, I feel so poor. I hate this mentality. I do not want to let go of my past, but I have to :(

At this point, my life goal is just to make a lot of money. I know Allah will give us what he has written for us, but having witnessed the importance of money (good schooling + facilities as well as money during family illness), it's hard to not become money minded.