the days are getting easier
my husband left without note or warning in march, a week before my birthday. i can't describe the pain i went through the following months, i'm not even sure i even remember it. it was the closest i've ever been to pure agony and i've been thru a lot, enough to write a book.
coming up on 7 months post-discard now and i am really proud that i'm still alive, still pushing through. in my darkest moments i was unsure if i'd even be around to see the leaves change color this year.
if i had to say one thing to him now, it would be thank you. thank you for letting me go sooner rather than 10 years down the line, thank you for releasing me from you, thank you for reminding me i deserve better and thank you for forcing me to take a long, uncomfortable look at the gaping abandonment wounds inside me.
i've been abandoned all my life. by my mother, father and anyone who was supposed to take care of me. i "slipped thru the cracks" in every regard so to speak. i could never imagine putting someone thru this knowing they've experienced this same pain all their life, it's barbaric.
but at the end of every day, i am reminded of my strength. some days are harder than others, but still i (and all of us here) persevere. if you are in the pits just know it will turn around. the lovers always win. ❤️