u/Junior-Occasion-2573

Little update to my last post open to advice

So my last post was a re upload because after I posted it I felt tons and tons of shame.

So after a while I ended up talking to him about chores again and how it was so important to me.

Everytime I talk to him about something that is important to me I feel like I'm having my own Ted talk!

He always closes his eyes or just looks at me while saying literally nothing. I'll get irritated and ask him what he's thinking about or why he isn't saying anything. He always saying something around the lines of "what do u want me to say?" "I don't have anything to say to that." Or "nothing your saying has a response"

So. He ended up coming home and doing laundry and taking out the trash (he did the dishes too once I left the house but I'll touch on that later). I ended up talking to him about the importance of chores while he closed his eyes or looked at TikTok having nothing to say.
I eventually told him that he needed to get help and that I'm worried for him and that putting a knife to his throat is cause of concern. That he needs therapy and to be medicated.
He tells me that Me having a chore board stresses him out and that he's not going to do it. That he doesn't need help and that he's "fine" because he's lived like this his entire life. That he rather live like this unmedicated than to be "delusional" or "in lala land" because living in this world is miserable regardless if he is medicated or not. He will know that this world is shit and that he figured that out a long time ago.

Anyway he gets irritated at me tellimg him he needs to get help and he tells me to get the fuck out again. So I slam his door and we bicker (and apparently I yelled first so that's why he was yelling, but talking to him makes me feel so confused that I don't even know at this point). He yells through the door that he wants me to break up with him so he can go kill himself.

So at this point im shaking like a small dog in a thunderstorm. I call his brothers dad and ask him if he's home because I had to get out of the house. So I slip out the door and start heading out of the drive way. Now he walks out and ask me where I am going. I ask him what does it matter so he slammed his hand on top of my car and said "alright" (I ended up telling him where I was going while I was driving down there. Also might I add I was so stressed I went without my glasses or anything. But also when I got home apparently It was my fault because he "wasted his day" checking my location).

When I get to his dad's house I tell him everything. His dad asks if he was molested and all sorts of things. I did answer honestly . I told him that I don't know what to do. We agreed we couldn't call cops because then he would just lie and say he doesn't want to kill himself. I talked about how I think he is emotionally manipulating me and that I'm tired of it and that I don't think he realizes that this shit is relationship ending stuff. After i was done crying and shaking I did go home.

His dad said that he was going to come over Thursday on our off days to talk to him privately about all of the stuff him and his mom went through. The abuse and molestation and mental health crisis's. And that it's okay to get help basically without outwardly saying it.

Now do I think it'll help him. No not really but I do hope so.

Well I got home and we talked about it. He said that I was weaponizing the things that he shares to me. Because I always bring it up the next day by saying he needs help and medication and change. That when he rants he basically wants me to never bring it up again. And also before bed he told me he doesn't trust in confiding in me anymore because of it.

Now I touched it in the last post, but I have borderline personality disorder. I believe he is taking advantage of my fear of abandonment.

Now last time I was in the crisis center because of this type of stuff. I shared something personal we did that he told me never toctell to anyone(plus the time he had a gun when I was asleep plotting to hurt himself and my friend told someone and they twisted it). Well I told my friends because this thing kind of gave me guilt and I'm a big oversharer. I started cutting myself out of guilt because he told me he didn't trust to talk to me or share private things with me.

So I was very triggered when he told me that.

I did end up seeing my therapist today and she does think he is gaslighting and emotionally manipulating me. There's not much I can do about this. And I can't just go to him and tell him he's being emotionally abusive! Lol! He makes me feel crazy. My therapist thinks I should record our conversations so I can listen back so I don't feel so blinded! I don't know man. Any advice?

Hello reddit!
I'm not really sure how to go about this, but I just can't get it off my mind.
My fiance(M22) and I (20) have been in a relationship nearly 5 years (since we were 15 and 17).
We now live together and have been living pretty happily since April.
Ever since I've met him he has had severe depression and suicidal ideation. Which has sent me into spirals trying to fix. I have BPD and have been diagnosed since I was 17. the behavior he presents triggers me bad, but im trying to be more apathetic as that's how he wants me to be, and I can't handle it anymore.
He will not get help, and actually refuses to go get insurance so it makes it almost impossible to convince him to go to therapy and get meds because of that.
Whenever I get him to talk to me he talks about how tiring it is to live for someone (me) and that he's tired of living and he can't do this anymore.
He has been saying this over and over for nearly 5 years. No change. I have begged him to get help, I have asked kindly, and I have threatened (which I know isn't good but I've been desperate).
He has had multiple instanses where he has sat with a g#n on his chin or a kn#fe to his throat. One of which I was IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HIM.
2 days or so ago I had gave him a list of chores (which he is very resistant towards.) He came home while I was at work and freaked out and said he had put a knife to his throat for about 30 minutes (after I pryed it out of him. I also relapsed on self harm that night ). Another time while I was spending the night, I had to of been 17 or so. I woke up in the middle of the night to him not in the bed with me. He was in the other room with a gun for hours. In the dark. At 3AM. I didn't see it but I had a feeling so I asked and he confirmed.
Like I said, I've talked to him multiple times and he refuses to get help (and if I report him I'm afraid he might just hurt himself when he got home or just disown me). He says he's "fine", but he's got a constant "put" in his stomach and just wants to die all the time.
When I get bad he doesn't help very well, it just gets dark and twisted. We sprial together, and I'm not going down with him or anyone for that matter. I have gone to a crisis unit twice over relationship anxiety and cutting all over myself.
He has been very resistant towards tending to the house chores. I can be very messy and nasty at times, that's something I'm trying to change. We had some family stay with us and all they did was clean. I realized that a clean house makes me feel a bit more sane .
Well we have argued alot over me wanting to clean and pick up nearly every day. He told me that he "isn't cleaning everyday" and that he likes to clean when it " looks like it needs it".
We made an agreement that we would clean on sun and Wednesdays, yesterday was one of the agreed apon days. I come home.. he is half asleep in his game room. I expected this. Since I didn't wsnt to have him melt down (which I melt down too sometimes no judgement) or call me a "nag". I didn't remind him because I had no energy to do so. I figured since he was home 4 hrs before me he would've cleaned some. I came in and asked him to bring the vacuum cleaner inside I just bought. He mumbled and turned over, so I brought it in. When I came in I told him that it was Sunday and that cleaning needed to happen because we had agreed. He asked me " are you serious?" With a disgusted face and told me to leave him "the fuck alone" so I slammed his door and questioned my reality. When he woke up he did say sorry but asked me why I expected him to clean after bkt sleeping all night and also how I expected him to remember the days because I'm the one who "wants to do all this shit"
He doesn't take care of himself . He doesn't brush his teeth unless I beg him to. He won't fold and put up his clothes (I've since started washing and folding my own and have seperated our clothes). He refuses to clean the bathroom properly because he has to "get on his knees and it hurts" because he's big and tall. His room is nasty. I mean all the forks in his room type. He has clothes all in his floor and cans and trash and milk jugs. It always has a different smell each time I go in there. He will not change his room or clean it. He won't even go buy a trash can for it, even though he has thousands saved up.
He also isolates himself. I constantly go into his room while he's playing video games and I have a hard time leaving him alone. Which is my bad. But I've been trying to get better at that and listenjng to boundaries he sets. But it bothers me when he says stuff like he doesn't like being around people and that I'm "people". I feel like it should be different because we are in a relationship. He's also told me multiple times he's not "built for a relationship"
We've also had arguments over how I'm being unfair like if I do the dishes he needs to scoop the litter box. EVEN SAID THAT WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE CATS IF THEY ARE "Abother chore in the board". Kid you not. Talking about how if I cook dinner I should clean the dishes because I used them. That he didn't even ask me to cook meals for him every night. I told him he asks me for noodles alot and he talked about how sometimes he just wants them in the microwave (which he never tells me. I make mjne with cheese and milk and spices) I called him ungrateful and he said he wasn't going to ask me for another thing again.
I Feel like he wants us to live like roomates and only do what we want selfishly. So im not cooking anymore or doing his laundry.
I know that when someone is depressed you might need to help them but 1. He doesn't ask for help 2. He refuses it. So I feel like if he wants to be treated as a normal functioning person then I shall do so. I'm tired. I've been trying to convince him to do something about it for nearly 5 years and he refuses. There's nothing I can do about it. I just needed to rant and I need advice badly. I have a therapist but it gets repetitive to repeat the same shit to her constantly

So my last post was a re upload because after I posted it I felt tons and tons of shame.

So after a while I ended up talking to him about chores again and how it was so important to me.

Everytime I talk to him about something that is important to me I feel like I'm having my own Ted talk!

He always closes his eyes or just looks at me while saying literally nothing. I'll get irritated and ask him what he's thinking about or why he isn't saying anything. He always saying something around the lines of "what do u want me to say?" "I don't have anything to say to that." Or "nothing your saying has a response"

So. He ended up coming home and doing laundry and taking out the trash (he did the dishes too once I left the house but I'll touch on that later). I ended up talking to him about the importance of chores while he closed his eyes or looked at TikTok having nothing to say.
I eventually told him that he needed to get help and that I'm worried for him and that putting a knife to his throat is cause of concern. That he needs therapy and to be medicated.
He tells me that Me having a chore board stresses him out and that he's not going to do it. That he doesn't need help and that he's "fine" because he's lived like this his entire life. That he rather live like this unmedicated than to be "delusional" or "in lala land" because living in this world is miserable regardless if he is medicated or not. He will know that this world is shit and that he figured that out a long time ago.

Anyway he gets irritated at me tellimg him he needs to get help and he tells me to get the fuck out again. So I slam his door and we bicker (and apparently I yelled first so that's why he was yelling, but talking to him makes me feel so confused that I don't even know at this point). He yells through the door that he wants me to break up with him so he can go kill himself.

So at this point im shaking like a small dog in a thunderstorm. I call his brothers dad and ask him if he's home because I had to get out of the house. So I slip out the door and start heading out of the drive way. Now he walks out and ask me where I am going. I ask him what does it matter so he slammed his hand on top of my car and said "alright" (I ended up telling him where I was going while I was driving down there. Also might I add I was so stressed I went without my glasses or anything. But also when I got home apparently It was my fault because he "wasted his day" checking my location).

When I get to his dad's house I tell him everything. His dad asks if he was molested and all sorts of things. I did answer honestly . I told him that I don't know what to do. We agreed we couldn't call cops because then he would just lie and say he doesn't want to kill himself. I talked about how I think he is emotionally manipulating me and that I'm tired of it and that I don't think he realizes that this shit is relationship ending stuff. After i was done crying and shaking I did go home.

His dad said that he was going to come over Thursday on our off days to talk to him privately about all of the stuff him and his mom went through. The abuse and molestation and mental health crisis's. And that it's okay to get help basically without outwardly saying it.

Now do I think it'll help him. No not really but I do hope so.

Well I got home and we talked about it. He said that I was weaponizing the things that he shares to me. Because I always bring it up the next day by saying he needs help and medication and change. That when he rants he basically wants me to never bring it up again. And also before bed he told me he doesn't trust in confiding in me anymore because of it.

Now I touched it in the last post, but I have borderline personality disorder. I believe he is taking advantage of my fear of abandonment.

Now last time I was in the crisis center because of this type of stuff. I shared something personal we did that he told me never toctell to anyone(plus the time he had a gun when I was asleep plotting to hurt himself and my friend told someone and they twisted it). Well I told my friends because this thing kind of gave me guilt and I'm a big oversharer. I started cutting myself out of guilt because he told me he didn't trust to talk to me or share private things with me.

So I was very triggered when he told me that.

I did end up seeing my therapist today and she does think he is gaslighting and emotionally manipulating me. There's not much I can do about this. And I can't just go to him and tell him he's being emotionally abusive! Lol! He makes me feel crazy. My therapist thinks I should record our conversations so I can listen back so I don't feel so blinded! I don't know man. Any advice?

Hello reddit!
I'm not really sure how to go about this, but I just can't get it off my mind.
My fiance(M22) and I (20) have been in a relationship nearly 5 years (since we were 15 and 17).
We now live together and have been living pretty happily since April.
Ever since I've met him he has had severe depression and suicidal ideation. Which has sent me into spirals trying to fix. I have BPD and have been diagnosed since I was 17. the behavior he presents triggers me bad, but im trying to be more apathetic as that's how he wants me to be, and I can't handle it anymore.
He will not get help, and actually refuses to go get insurance so it makes it almost impossible to convince him to go to therapy and get meds because of that.
Whenever I get him to talk to me he talks about how tiring it is to live for someone (me) and that he's tired of living and he can't do this anymore.
He has been saying this over and over for nearly 5 years. No change. I have begged him to get help, I have asked kindly, and I have threatened (which I know isn't good but I've been desperate).
He has had multiple instanses where he has sat with a g#n on his chin or a kn#fe to his throat. One of which I was IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HIM.
2 days or so ago I had gave him a list of chores (which he is very resistant towards.) He came home while I was at work and freaked out and said he had put a knife to his throat for about 30 minutes (after I pryed it out of him. I also relapsed on self harm that night ). Another time while I was spending the night, I had to of been 17 or so. I woke up in the middle of the night to him not in the bed with me. He was in the other room with a gun for hours. In the dark. At 3AM. I didn't see it but I had a feeling so I asked and he confirmed.
Like I said, I've talked to him multiple times and he refuses to get help (and if I report him I'm afraid he might just hurt himself when he got home or just disown me). He says he's "fine", but he's got a constant "put" in his stomach and just wants to die all the time.
When I get bad he doesn't help very well, it just gets dark and twisted. We sprial together, and I'm not going down with him or anyone for that matter. I have gone to a crisis unit twice over relationship anxiety and cutting all over myself.
He has been very resistant towards tending to the house chores. I can be very messy and nasty at times, that's something I'm trying to change. We had some family stay with us and all they did was clean. I realized that a clean house makes me feel a bit more sane .
Well we have argued alot over me wanting to clean and pick up nearly every day. He told me that he "isn't cleaning everyday" and that he likes to clean when it " looks like it needs it".
We made an agreement that we would clean on sun and Wednesdays, yesterday was one of the agreed apon days. I come home.. he is half asleep in his game room. I expected this. Since I didn't wsnt to have him melt down (which I melt down too sometimes no judgement) or call me a "nag". I didn't remind him because I had no energy to do so. I figured since he was home 4 hrs before me he would've cleaned some. I came in and asked him to bring the vacuum cleaner inside I just bought. He mumbled and turned over, so I brought it in. When I came in I told him that it was Sunday and that cleaning needed to happen because we had agreed. He asked me " are you serious?" With a disgusted face and told me to leave him "the fuck alone" so I slammed his door and questioned my reality. When he woke up he did say sorry but asked me why I expected him to clean after bkt sleeping all night and also how I expected him to remember the days because I'm the one who "wants to do all this shit"
He doesn't take care of himself . He doesn't brush his teeth unless I beg him to. He won't fold and put up his clothes (I've since started washing and folding my own and have seperated our clothes). He refuses to clean the bathroom properly because he has to "get on his knees and it hurts" because he's big and tall. His room is nasty. I mean all the forks in his room type. He has clothes all in his floor and cans and trash and milk jugs. It always has a different smell each time I go in there. He will not change his room or clean it. He won't even go buy a trash can for it, even though he has thousands saved up.
He also isolates himself. I constantly go into his room while he's playing video games and I have a hard time leaving him alone. Which is my bad. But I've been trying to get better at that and listenjng to boundaries he sets. But it bothers me when he says stuff like he doesn't like being around people and that I'm "people". I feel like it should be different because we are in a relationship. He's also told me multiple times he's not "built for a relationship"
We've also had arguments over how I'm being unfair like if I do the dishes he needs to scoop the litter box. EVEN SAID THAT WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE CATS IF THEY ARE "Abother chore in the board". Kid you not. Talking about how if I cook dinner I should clean the dishes because I used them. That he didn't even ask me to cook meals for him every night. I told him he asks me for noodles alot and he talked about how sometimes he just wants them in the microwave (which he never tells me. I make mjne with cheese and milk and spices) I called him ungrateful and he said he wasn't going to ask me for another thing again.
I Feel like he wants us to live like roomates and only do what we want selfishly. So im not cooking anymore or doing his laundry.
I know that when someone is depressed you might need to help them but 1. He doesn't ask for help 2. He refuses it. So I feel like if he wants to be treated as a normal functioning person then I shall do so. I'm tired. I've been trying to convince him to do something about it for nearly 5 years and he refuses. There's nothing I can do about it. I just needed to rant and I need advice badly. I have a therapist but it gets repetitive to repeat the same shit to her constantly

Hello reddit!

I'm not really sure how to go about this, but I just can't get it off my mind.

My fiance[22M]and I [20F] have been in a relationship nearly 5 years (since we were 15 and 17).

We now live together and have been living pretty happily since April.

Ever since I've met him he has had severe depression and suicidal ideation. Which has sent me into spirals trying to fix. I have BPD and have been diagnosed since I was 17. the behavior he presents triggers me bad, but im trying to be more apathetic as that's how he wants me to be, and I can't handle it anymore.

He will not get help, and actually refuses to go get insurance so it makes it almost impossible to convince him to go to therapy and get meds because of that.

Whenever I get him to talk to me he talks about how tiring it is to live for someone (me) and that he's tired of living and he can't do this anymore.

He has been saying this over and over for nearly 5 years. No change. I have begged him to get help, I have asked kindly, and I have threatened (which I know isn't good but I've been desperate).

He has had multiple instanses where he has sat with a g#n on his chin or a kn#fe to his throat. One of which I was IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HIM.

2 days or so ago I had gave him a list of chores (which he is very resistant towards.) He came home while I was at work and freaked out and said he had put a knife to his throat for about 30 minutes (after I pryed it out of him. I also relapsed on self harm that night ). Another time while I was spending the night, I had to of been 17 or so. I woke up in the middle of the night to him not in the bed with me. He was in the other room with a gun for hours. In the dark. At 3AM. I didn't see it but I had a feeling so I asked and he confirmed.

Like I said, I've talked to him multiple times and he refuses to get help (and if I report him I'm afraid he might just hurt himself when he got home or just disown me). He says he's "fine", but he's got a constant "put" in his stomach and just wants to die all the time.

When I get bad he doesn't help very well, it just gets dark and twisted. We sprial together, and I'm not going down with him or anyone for that matter. I have gone to a crisis unit twice over relationship anxiety and cutting all over myself.

He has been very resistant towards tending to the house chores. I can be very messy and nasty at times, that's something I'm trying to change. We had some family stay with us and all they did was clean. I realized that a clean house makes me feel a bit more sane .

Well we have argued alot over me wanting to clean and pick up nearly every day. He told me that he "isn't cleaning everyday" and that he likes to clean when it " looks like it needs it".

We made an agreement that we would clean on sun and Wednesdays, yesterday was one of the agreed apon days. I come home.. he is half asleep in his game room. I expected this. Since I didn't wsnt to have him melt down (which I melt down too sometimes no judgement) or call me a "nag". I didn't remind him because I had no energy to do so. I figured since he was home 4 hrs before me he would've cleaned some. I came in and asked him to bring the vacuum cleaner inside I just bought. He mumbled and turned over, so I brought it in. When I came in I told him that it was Sunday and that cleaning needed to happen because we had agreed. He asked me " are you serious?" With a disgusted face and told me to leave him "the fuck alone" so I slammed his door and questioned my reality. When he woke up he did say sorry but asked me why I expected him to clean after bkt sleeping all night and also how I expected him to remember the days because I'm the one who "wants to do all this shit"

He doesn't take care of himself . He doesn't brush his teeth unless I beg him to. He won't fold and put up his clothes (I've since started washing and folding my own and have seperated our clothes). He refuses to clean the bathroom properly because he has to "get on his knees and it hurts" because he's big and tall. His room is nasty. I mean all the forks in his room type. He has clothes all in his floor and cans and trash and milk jugs. It always has a different smell each time I go in there. He will not change his room or clean it. He won't even go buy a trash can for it, even though he has thousands saved up.

He also isolates himself. I constantly go into his room while he's playing video games and I have a hard time leaving him alone. Which is my bad. But I've been trying to get better at that and listenjng to boundaries he sets. But it bothers me when he says stuff like he doesn't like being around people and that I'm "people". I feel like it should be different because we are in a relationship. He's also told me multiple times he's not "built for a relationship"

We've also had arguments over how I'm being unfair like if I do the dishes he needs to scoop the litter box. EVEN SAID THAT WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE CATS IF THEY ARE "Abother chore in the board". Kid you not. Talking about how if I cook dinner I should clean the dishes because I used them. That he didn't even ask me to cook meals for him every night. I told him he asks me for noodles alot and he talked about how sometimes he just wants them in the microwave (which he never tells me. I make mjne with cheese and milk and spices) I called him ungrateful and he said he wasn't going to ask me for another thing again.
I Feel like he wants us to live like roomates and only do what we want selfishly. So im not cooking anymore or doing his laundry.

I know that when someone is depressed you might need to help them but 1. He doesn't ask for help 2. He refuses it. So I feel like if he wants to be treated as a normal functioning person then I shall do so. I'm tired. I've been trying to convince him to do something about it for nearly 5 years and he refuses. There's nothing I can do about it. I just needed to rant and I need advice badly. I have a therapist but it gets repetitive to repeat the same shit to her constantly

Hello reddit!

I'm not really sure how to go about this, but I just can't get it off my mind.

My fiance(M22) and I (20) have been in a relationship nearly 5 years (since we were 15 and 17).

We now live together and have been living pretty happily since April.

Ever since I've met him he has had severe depression and suicidal ideation. Which has sent me into spirals trying to fix. I have BPD and have been diagnosed since I was 17. the behavior he presents triggers me bad, but im trying to be more apathetic as that's how he wants me to be, and I can't handle it anymore.

He will not get help, and actually refuses to go get insurance so it makes it almost impossible to convince him to go to therapy and get meds because of that.

Whenever I get him to talk to me he talks about how tiring it is to live for someone (me) and that he's tired of living and he can't do this anymore.

He has been saying this over and over for nearly 5 years. No change. I have begged him to get help, I have asked kindly, and I have threatened (which I know isn't good but I've been desperate).

He has had multiple instanses where he has sat with a g#n on his chin or a kn#fe to his throat. One of which I was IN THE SAME HOUSE AS HIM.

2 days or so ago I had gave him a list of chores (which he is very resistant towards.) He came home while I was at work and freaked out and said he had put a knife to his throat for about 30 minutes (after I pryed it out of him. I also relapsed on self harm that night ). Another time while I was spending the night, I had to of been 17 or so. I woke up in the middle of the night to him not in the bed with me. He was in the other room with a gun for hours. In the dark. At 3AM. I didn't see it but I had a feeling so I asked and he confirmed.

Like I said, I've talked to him multiple times and he refuses to get help (and if I report him I'm afraid he might just hurt himself when he got home or just disown me). He says he's "fine", but he's got a constant "put" in his stomach and just wants to die all the time.

When I get bad he doesn't help very well, it just gets dark and twisted. We sprial together, and I'm not going down with him or anyone for that matter. I have gone to a crisis unit twice over relationship anxiety and cutting all over myself.

He has been very resistant towards tending to the house chores. I can be very messy and nasty at times, that's something I'm trying to change. We had some family stay with us and all they did was clean. I realized that a clean house makes me feel a bit more sane .

Well we have argued alot over me wanting to clean and pick up nearly every day. He told me that he "isn't cleaning everyday" and that he likes to clean when it " looks like it needs it".

We made an agreement that we would clean on sun and Wednesdays, yesterday was one of the agreed apon days. I come home.. he is half asleep in his game room. I expected this. Since I didn't wsnt to have him melt down (which I melt down too sometimes no judgement) or call me a "nag". I didn't remind him because I had no energy to do so. I figured since he was home 4 hrs before me he would've cleaned some. I came in and asked him to bring the vacuum cleaner inside I just bought. He mumbled and turned over, so I brought it in. When I came in I told him that it was Sunday and that cleaning needed to happen because we had agreed. He asked me " are you serious?" With a disgusted face and told me to leave him "the fuck alone" so I slammed his door and questioned my reality. When he woke up he did say sorry but asked me why I expected him to clean after bkt sleeping all night and also how I expected him to remember the days because I'm the one who "wants to do all this shit"

He doesn't take care of himself . He doesn't brush his teeth unless I beg him to. He won't fold and put up his clothes (I've since started washing and folding my own and have seperated our clothes). He refuses to clean the bathroom properly because he has to "get on his knees and it hurts" because he's big and tall. His room is nasty. I mean all the forks in his room type. He has clothes all in his floor and cans and trash and milk jugs. It always has a different smell each time I go in there. He will not change his room or clean it. He won't even go buy a trash can for it, even though he has thousands saved up.

He also isolates himself. I constantly go into his room while he's playing video games and I have a hard time leaving him alone. Which is my bad. But I've been trying to get better at that and listenjng to boundaries he sets. But it bothers me when he says stuff like he doesn't like being around people and that I'm "people". I feel like it should be different because we are in a relationship. He's also told me multiple times he's not "built for a relationship"

We've also had arguments over how I'm being unfair like if I do the dishes he needs to scoop the litter box. EVEN SAID THAT WE SHOULD GET RID OF THE CATS IF THEY ARE "Abother chore in the board". Kid you not. Talking about how if I cook dinner I should clean the dishes because I used them. That he didn't even ask me to cook meals for him every night. I told him he asks me for noodles alot and he talked about how sometimes he just wants them in the microwave (which he never tells me. I make mjne with cheese and milk and spices) I called him ungrateful and he said he wasn't going to ask me for another thing again.
I Feel like he wants us to live like roomates and only do what we want selfishly. So im not cooking anymore or doing his laundry.

I know that when someone is depressed you might need to help them but 1. He doesn't ask for help 2. He refuses it. So I feel like if he wants to be treated as a normal functioning person then I shall do so. I'm tired. I've been trying to convince him to do something about it for nearly 5 years and he refuses. There's nothing I can do about it. I just needed to rant and I need advice badly. I have a therapist but it gets repetitive to repeat the same shit to her constantly