u/JustLetMeLurkDammit

My daughter was born healthy and at term, yet struggled to latch from the very beginning. She would latch and feed when latched by the midwives in the hospital, but she would cry so hard when handled by them or me, e.g. when grabbed by the neck for the cross cradle position.

I stayed in the hospital for 5 days due to post-c section complications and towards the end it seemed like we were getting somewhere - the trick was to get her to suck in a finger, give her some milk via syringe, and then quickly switch to the boob. That was the only way I seemed to be able to activate her sucking reflex.

Then it turned out she lost 13% of her birth weight and was put on a feeding plan. We went on bottles, and I kept trying to breastfeed but was worried about her starting to develop an aversion so only tired when she seemed in the mood. She almost never seemed to be in the mood.

I tried two ICBLCs who were able to latch her but their advice never worked long term. Tried nipple shields, all the stupid positions in the world, giving her some food first via bottle and switching out, the works. It seemed to be harder and harder to latch her and especially to trigger her sucking reflex - even on bottles.

Fast forward to now, last week she was finally diagnosed with a posterior tongue tie which was released. She is currently relearning to use her tongue but the bottles are already improving a bit.

I redoubled the efforts to get her on the boob but every single professional I talk to opens with how there's no guarantee she'll go back to breastfeeding. The way they say it makes it sound like they're trying to gently tell me that it's too late and I probably should just give up. To preserve my supply I'm pumping and they're all super stoked about how I've done such a great job blah blah blah. It makes me feel like they don't really care because they can put it in their forms that the baby is getting breast milk.

I don't want to pump, I want her on the boob. I don't have to pull her away when she roots at my milk filled breast because I know she will just make herself mad. It breaks my heart.

I'm starting to feel like I'm delusional for still trying. Does anyone know of a success story with this level of reluctance to even latch?

For those of us whose pre-baby hobbies included video games, I thought it might be fun to swap ideas on the most contact nap-compatible video games to play. Ideally something that can be played one-handed and put down or paused immediately when the baby fusses 😅 What have been your favourites, or at least the games you have been able to play at all?

For me I play on my laptop, so a lot of 2D mouse-based games are OK. I played the demo of Songs of Glimmerwick which was lovely, and for something cozy and simple Im also enjoying Winter Burrow a lot. Most of my fave city builders feel a little too involved tbh, but some more 'boardgamey' ones with shorter playthroughs like Dorfromantik are fun. And of course visual novels! On one hand I could try to finally finish Disco Elysium, but on another with the level of sleep deprivation I feel like I won't be able to understand what's going on enough 😅

If you've been able to play any video games, what are your favourites at the moment?