Hi I’m 24M and honestly I’m at my breaking point rn and just need to get this out
I havent talked to my brother 26M in like 2 years now. It all started when my gf 24F was pregnant with our son 2M. She started working at the same bank as my brother, not because of him but same division. At that bank people have literally gotten fired for being related and he still went around telling people they were related through me. Also told people she was pregnant before she was even ready to say anything. She had just started, hiding it with big sweaters, scared she’d lose her job.
For some extra context I used to even work with him and her family business like one day a week for a couple hours but I dreaded it. It got so bad I would show up super late or just avoid it completely just because of him. He always had something negative to say. Like this dude is so negative he would literally tell coworkers he had a fake Twitter account just so he could argue with people online.
Then he starts asking around about maternity leave and comes home laughing telling me she wouldnt even qualify for paid leave. Meanwhile I’m stressed out, we’re living at my parents house trying to figure everything out. Living situation was already messed up. Big house, 5 bedrooms, I moved downstairs with my gf and our baby, barely any space or privacy. My brother had like 3 rooms upstairs to himself. After my son was born he tells my gf “I would’ve given yall a room but mom told me not to” which wasnt even true according to my mom.
But the real breaking point was finding out he had been talking shit about my gf to his coworkers before she even started. So when she got there people were already treating her weird, someone even blamed her for an hr report she had nothing to do with. All because of what he was saying.
Then when my son was 3 weeks old it was my brothers birthday. I didnt go, went to work instead. My gf stayed at the house holding our newborn the whole time. When it was time for cake my mom took him from her and handed him to my brother so they could take pictures without us saying that was ok. I came home and lost it. Stopped talking to them for like a month even though we were under the same roof. Eventually things just kinda smoothed over without any real apology and we moved out soon after.
There was also this one moment that still sits with me. My family and I were going through a really emotional time after we had to deal with my younger brother who passed as a baby back in our home country, he was only like 3 weeks old and had Edward syndrome. He meant a lot to me because it changed everything in our lives. And during that time they both tried to use that moment to get me to forgive him. I almost fell for it but when I reread the message it wasnt really an apology. It was basically like “I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you feel this way, I dont know what I did but I’m sorry for how you feel” and it just felt fake.
Fast forward to today. I’m leaving work and see my brother posted a pic of my mom with all her grandkids including my son. I never gave permission for that especially not him. I call my mom tell her to make him delete it, I text him too. He blocks me. My mom says she told him to block me and my gf so we dont see what he posts. Then I find out from a friend he didnt even delete it. I call her again pissed, text him again, and he finally replies “ill delete it since youre so upset idc” then sends another “A picture I posted is not going to stop me from being in his life when he’s at the house. I hope you understand that. Don’t ever fucking text me like that again if you have something to say to me have the balls to say it to me in my face. Grow up you have a child now.” So I told him straight up my son wont be going over there anymore and he wont have a relationship with him.
I trusted my parents to respect that boundary and not let him around my kid but they dont. They just let him do whatever and act like I’m the problem. And the worst part is nobody in my family here believes me or thinks he did anything wrong.
Idk if I’m overreacting or if I’m right to cut all this off but I’m done feeling like I’m crazy for setting boundaries?
TL;DR: My brother has been repeatedly crossing boundaries and causing problems in my life, including negatively affecting my girlfriend’s job situation and ignoring our privacy with my son. My family keeps dismissing it and defending him, even when he posts about my child without permission. I’ve gone no contact before and am now at my breaking point and considering cutting off all of my family completely, but I’m unsure what the right move is.