MIL insists my SIL's post partum experience is worse than everyone else's and is not supportive of her son.
Myself and husband have a 10 month old and a 3yr old. My inlaws have been disappointing in terms of support from the birth of our first child - we always have to make the effort to see them, visits have always centered around what works for them as opposed to us (eg "we'll bring you a meal" which they proceeded to all eat and leave the dirty dishes for us to clean up 10 days after I'd had an emergency csection) and they have been quite dismissive of any hard times we've had (they "had three under 4!" so naturally anything else is a cake walk). There are countless examples - nothing massive but all these smaller things which add up.
They are not bad people, just self involved and a bit clueless. They also live in a different city to us so I optimistically chalked it up to them forgetting what having babies was like and not being close enough to our lives to remember how hard those first few years are. But I have always been sad for my husband that he puts in a monumental effort to involve them when he does not get very much support .
My husband's sister has always been the absolute apple of their eye - she lives 2 mins away from them and I do think there's a bit of enmeshment/ never really left the nest there. Nevertheless, I thought that when she had a baby 7 weeks ago, MIL, FIL and husband's brother (BIL) might get a wake up and realise that they haven't been particularly supportive towards my husband and step up a bit.
I was wrong.
You'd swear my SIL was the first person to have a baby. In the whole world. My MIL told me that my SIL is really struggling (and she is, she definitely has bad PPA/PPD) because their experience has been harder than most people's (ie ours too). Their experience has actually been pretty much par for the course - some reflux, sleep deprivation etc. I do think my SIL needs a lof of support right now and my husband and I are trying to be there for her as much as we can (while we juggle our own lives). But we've also had a pretty hard time at stages.
I just wish MIL, FIL and my husband's brother would step up more for my husband (and ultimately for my kids). Just disappointing really.