I guess I need to vent
My father just told me yesterday that for the last few years he has been dealing with cerebellar ataxia. My father is not Muslim or religious at all. I took my shahada and I live like a hypocrite. I feel like Allah is punishing me for not trying to rebuild my relationship with my father. I already lost both of my brothers when we weren't on the best of terms. I'm in Ohio, he is in Cali, so I plan to fly back to visit as soon as possible. This whole situation is making me real sad. I've never felt this kind of sadness before. I haven't seen him in a few years so I had no idea. He told me he has balance issues and has to walk with a cane, he is having slurred speech as if he is intoxicated. The doctor told him he has to keep active to slow down the disease but there also is no cure. I feel like I'm losing my father. I don't need anything I just don't have any Muslim people to talk with.