I found out my BF(31) was cheating on me(26) w at least 2 trans women while I was 6 months pregnant.
He was also messaging women on bumble trying to have sex. No hello messages just immediately asking for sex. He’d been in recovery but also found out he was abusing drugs again. I found out all this at the same time. He swore it was due to the mix of drugs that made him extra horny which led him to watching different kinds of porn and then led him to a dark place where he ended up having sexual interactions w a couple different trans women. I would take him home and he would have them come to his house in the middle of the night and he would go do it in their car. The messages are burned in my brain. He has a lot of shame surrounding everything he did. Which he should in my opinion. He then went to rehab when I was 8-9 months pregnant.
I stayed and had our child and we now live together. He still abuses substances. (not the same mix of them, not that it’s any better) Not as bad as before but still does. No signs of cheating or anything like that but I am sooooo hurt still. I think and worry about it more than I’d like to admit.
I love him and we talk about marriage but I don’t want to worry forever about him being attracted or having this desire for trans women. Not other women either but the extra layer of that makes it worse. I’m post partum and having a hard fucking time. I’m tired of the substances and lying about it.