u/Just_Breath2422

I turned 27 years old couple of months ago. I am doing a PhD in US, my self confidence has hit rock bottom. I am going through procrastination issues for the longest amount of time, Haven't earned anything significant in life. No girlfriend, No perspective girlfriend. Nothing's going on.

Physically I have hit 35% body fat with a skinny fat body. with predominant body fat stored in stomach. I literally pull my stomach back when I meet a girl or see girls around.

I have tried building a gym habit so many times and have failed everytime.

Mixture of above things have made my life so hard, some days I just lay on my bed whole day, watching something on my phone and literally never get out of bed.

Please give some suggestions, on where can I start fixing my life?, how to feel the life force again? I hate being alive but dead.

I am a an International PhD student in Oklahoma, I have been loosing touch with all my friends studily. Till, I was in my bachelor's I had tons of friends, I always used hangout with friends, always in gang laughing making fun of each other, just being around.

In my senior year COVID hit and lost touch with a lot of my friends, who I used to share my hostel with. Then I graduated,the friend circle started shrinking further.

Then I moved to US for my master's education, I made couple of friends here and we were a small tiny gang, we were still having some fun. Now, even they graduated.

I am continuing with a PhD in the same University, It's been couple of years, I haven't made a single friend.

Same story with dating life, Online dating is so depressing for a guy and there's literally no one in my radar to be even hopeful to try for her. Meanwhile, I see photos on my Instagram of previous classmates from my bachelor days getting married, being happy.

I am a 27 Year old Male in US, I am originally from India. Came to US to do a master's 4 years ago, I finished my masters, But didn't feel like I learnt anything. I wasn't confident to hit the job market and I also had a clinging thought of doing a PhD thinking that it would sort my immigration status. Hence I joined. When I initially joined the PhD I had no idea what research is or how to do it. After the end of 2nd year I have some idea of what research is, But I feel like my ideas aren't great. My peers are highly successful, I feel so infiror. The thing is I know a little bit of everything related to software, for example I know programming but if you tell me build a full fledged website, I won't be able to (without the help of AI).

Physically I am at 35% Body Fat, a skinny fat guy, Low on energy my, My eating habits are fucked (I mostly eat outside and twice a day) My sleep is decent but gets horrible couple of days a week. I tried to build a gym habit, for longest amount of time, I haven't able to go past first week consistently.

Relationship, I haven't had any meaningful relationship in last 10 years, Some sex here and there in these 10 years. I am emotionally numb in a relationship. While my emotions flying in all places internally (I am totally anxious and depressed).

I never learnt how to work 9 to 5, I stress work. Sometimes I work whole say, Some other days, I don't get out of my bed (all within a week). I have a huge procrastination issue, I put things to the last moment, Since joining PhD I haven't been able to pull things off in the last moment, I have constantly missed deadlines.

I don't know what I am doing anymore, I have to finish this PhD somehow (I have always ran from responsibility), need to stick to something in life, Hoping that it would pay off.

Any advice on how to fix my life or where to start? Much appreciated. Thanks