Am I expecting too much from my boyfriend?
I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We are in ldr but both live outside india for 5 years now in different countries.
I work in tech so I have a fair bit of male friends.
Recently i planned a trip where we were 6 people ( 4 men and 2 women). The other women decided to withdraw last minute so i still went as i had already spent money. This bothered my bf as it was all men other than me. He has met all my friends so he knows they are good people and he also mentioned he knows my friends are all safe but it still bothered him even though he does fully trust me as per him. He also mentioned that because we are able to talk less during trips, it further adds to the trouble. ( Which would have been if any girls went as well, and is also true when he goes for trip)
The weekend after i planned another 1:1 trip with a gay friend which also bothered him as he questioned my friend's sexuality and he doesn't know if that person is actually gay.
I didn't go as I was not well eventually.
We agreed later that I won't plan any all men trip in future at all.
I was casually mentioning to him a new tankini i had ordered for a beach trip with a mixed group of friends now ( not all men). I wear those with him all the time when we go to beach. He mentioned that other men might look at me in wrong way and this is kind of breaking exclusivity and a form of deception. I can wear those clothes when with him but not in front of any other men.. I mention exclusivity is broken when someone cheats emotionally or physically. How can wearing beach wear at beach break exclusivity?
At this point, i lost it because there were new boundaries each week. I have been totally loyal in the relationship, never given him reason to distrust and this is what I get for it, restrictions that make no sense. It's fairly common to wear tankini in country where we both live now. Every one on beach wears that. Every time he expects me to change my actions and not his thought process . He says my actions deeply bother him and he can't eat/sleep and i can agree to his requests as it is impacting him so much.
I have seen back at home where my mom had similar restrictions of what to wear or who to hangout with and I can't see that happening to me. He knows that, acknowledges my fear but still expects me to change my actions as it impacts him so much. He mentioned how I have become too western/modern and bold and he wants someone simple.
How do I deal with this?