u/GodfatheXTonySoprano

I barely use social media like Instagram maybe once or twice a month and I almost never post anything. But whenever someone asks for my Instagram and sees there are barely any posts, they start acting like I’m some suspicious guy hiding from law enforcement.

Why has being private online suddenly become such a weird thing? Some people just don’t enjoy posting their life constantly or spending hours on social media. Does anyone else experience this?

Yesterday a female colleague sent me a reel where a woman was listing the “bare minimum” requirements for men. The list just kept going:

• good finances
• caring
• emotionally available
• stay away from parents
• ambitious
• good communication
• etc etc

Then she suddenly says:
“Girls, these are all bare minimum… but the MOST important thing is you need a SOFT GUY. That’s the MVP.”

And I’m sitting there like…

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

First it was: height ,salary , looks , fitness

Now apparently men also need to be a “soft guy” DLC update.

Is “soft guy” just another social media buzzword for a normal decent human being? Or does it mean emotionally expressive? Non-toxic? A guy who listens? A golden retriever boyfriend?

Genuinely asking because every 3 months internet dating culture invents a new character class for men.

I was skinny all my life. Standing at 6 ft and just 60 kg, I was basically a stick. School was still bearable, but college was worse. My confidence was so low that I used to avoid girls altogether. Four years went by like that no girlfriend, nothing.

I tried gaining weight, but staying in a hostel with terrible food and no money for whey or extra meals made it difficult.

Then I got a job, started earning, joined a gym, trained consistently for 2 years, and ate like a horse. I gained close to 40 lbs muscles . Now I stand at 90 kg.

The confidence change is unreal. I don’t fear confrontation anymore. Even the way people behave around me has changed no more demeaning jokes, people are more respectful and careful with how they talk. I get way more attention from women now. Even aunties at the gym ask for Instagram sometimes lol.

But the biggest gain is how comfortable I’ve become talking to strangers ,police, government officials, random people on the road everyone talks with more respect now.

A guy who once struggled to make eye contact with girls now gets approached by them.

And one underrated benefit I don’t feel cold all the time anymore. Back when I first joined my job, I used to shiver in office AC and constantly ask housekeeping to lower it.

People say “just be confident,” but the reality is that how the world treats you absolutely affects your confidence.

My Instagram feed is full of women posting about how close they are to God and spirituality. Even among my own followers, I’ve noticed college and school friends who used to be atheists and never visited temples are now suddenly becoming very religious and spiritual.

I know it’s not my place to question people’s personal beliefs, but this sudden change feels confusing to me.

Are you guys observing this too?

I really like this maithili song , can you please translate and give me meanings.

>Mohi Lelkhin Sajni Mor Manwa , Song by Sharda Sinha 

I have tried Chat Gpt but not sure if it was correct.

Thanks

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We are in ldr but both live outside india for 5 years now in different countries.

I work in tech so I have a fair bit of male friends.

Recently i planned a trip where we were 6 people ( 4 men and 2 women). The other women decided to withdraw last minute so i still went as i had already spent money. This bothered my bf as it was all men other than me. He has met all my friends so he knows they are good people and he also mentioned he knows my friends are all safe but it still bothered him even though he does fully trust me as per him. He also mentioned that because we are able to talk less during trips, it further adds to the trouble. ( Which would have been if any girls went as well, and is also true when he goes for trip)

The weekend after i planned another 1:1 trip with a gay friend which also bothered him as he questioned my friend's sexuality and he doesn't know if that person is actually gay.

I didn't go as I was not well eventually.

We agreed later that I won't plan any all men trip in future at all.

I was casually mentioning to him a new tankini i had ordered for a beach trip with a mixed group of friends now ( not all men). I wear those with him all the time when we go to beach. He mentioned that other men might look at me in wrong way and this is kind of breaking exclusivity and a form of deception. I can wear those clothes when with him but not in front of any other men.. I mention exclusivity is broken when someone cheats emotionally or physically. How can wearing beach wear at beach break exclusivity?

At this point, i lost it because there were new boundaries each week. I have been totally loyal in the relationship, never given him reason to distrust and this is what I get for it, restrictions that make no sense. It's fairly common to wear tankini in country where we both live now. Every one on beach wears that. Every time he expects me to change my actions and not his thought process . He says my actions deeply bother him and he can't eat/sleep and i can agree to his requests as it is impacting him so much.

I have seen back at home where my mom had similar restrictions of what to wear or who to hangout with and I can't see that happening to me. He knows that, acknowledges my fear but still expects me to change my actions as it impacts him so much. He mentioned how I have become too western/modern and bold and he wants someone simple.

How do I deal with this?

Met a really interesting guy at the airport today. Flight got delayed for hours because of the storm, so we just started talking casually.

He works at the Reserve Bank of India as a Deputy Manager. Engineering grad, joined a few years back, now also preparing for UPSC.

Then he told me about his family history and I was honestly surprised.

His great-grandfather served in the British Indian Army somewhere near the North-West Frontier region close to Afghanistan.
Then his grandfather joined civil services and worked in police services.
His father was also a civil servant.
And now he’s in RBI.

He even showed me old photos of his great-grandfather in uniform. Felt surreal seeing 4 generations connected to government service like that.

I asked him if he’d want his future kids to also go for government jobs. He said earlier he wasn’t very sure and thought private sector was the future, but after seeing how fast AI is changing industries, he’s started valuing the stability of government jobs a lot more.

Not glorifying govt jobs or anything, but it was genuinely fascinating to see a family carry the same tradition through British India, post-independence India, and now the AI era.

I personally don’t think I’d be comfortable if my future partner had a male best friend after marriage. Normal friends, old classmates, colleagues, or casual friendships are completely fine to me but a very close “best friend” dynamic feels different.

Because of that, I also maintain the same boundary for myself and don’t really keep female best friends either.

Is this considered insecure, or is it a reasonable preference as long as both partners are on the same page?

How to transfer ₹10 lakhs to a friend for a medical emergency without tax issues?

A friend’s mother is undergoing a kidney transplant and unfortunately they don’t have insurance coverage. He has asked me for financial help, and I’m planning to transfer around ₹10 lakhs for the treatment.

I wanted to understand the safest and most proper way to do this financially and legally.

-Is it okay to send the amount in one bank transfer, or should it be split into multiple transfers?
-Will there be any income tax implications for either me or him?

Would appreciate advice from people familiar with banking/tax rules in India or anyone who has handled a similar situation.

A friend’s mother is undergoing a kidney transplant and unfortunately they don’t have insurance coverage. He has asked me for financial help, and I’m planning to transfer around ₹10 lakhs for the treatment.

I wanted to understand the safest and most proper way to do this financially and legally.

- Is it okay to send the amount in one bank transfer, or should it be split into multiple transfers?
- Will there be any income tax implications for either me or him?

Would appreciate advice from people familiar with banking/tax rules in India or anyone who has handled a similar situation.

Met this girl through a mutual friend. We both were single so my friend introduced us. We exchanged numbers and started talking. First week was honestly great. Good conversations, good vibe, and we even met once at a temple on the weekend.

Then from the next week her replies started getting slower. First 1-2 hours, then 5-6 hours, sometimes next day. Conversations also became kinda dry. I thought maybe she’s busy and didn’t want to overthink because technically we weren’t dating.

Then next weekend I asked her out for dinner. She agreed, we met, had a really nice time, so I thought maybe everything was fine. But again after that same thing: late replies, low effort, never initiating.

So I slowed down too. Eventually I stopped texting first just to see if she would ever initiate. She didn’t.

Still I asked her out once more for a movie on the weekend. She said she was busy. Later I saw her posting stories.

At that point I genuinely thought she just wasn’t interested.

We barely talked for like 2 weeks after that. Then for one last attempt I asked her if she wanted to go on a short day trip. She refused again saying she was busy, while literally posting stories the whole day.

So I finally accepted the hint.
Removed her number, removed her from Insta and moved on.

Next day she suddenly texted asking why I removed her. I told her honestly that she seemed uninterested.
Then she CALLED me crying saying she actually liked me the whole time and acted distant on purpose because she didn’t want to look “easy to get”.

Now I’m just confused.

How is someone supposed to know you like them when you constantly act uninterested?

I’m 30, male, unmarried.

I pay ₹12,465/year for a ₹25 lakh New India Assurance Yuva Bharati policy with add-ons like consumables and hospital cash benefit.

Also have ₹5 lakh corporate health insurance from my employer.

What about you guys?

Age: 30, Male, Unmarried

I have a New India Assurance Yuva Bharati policy with ₹25 lakh coverage

Premium is ₹12,465 per year including add-ons like consumables and hospital cash benefit , etc

Also have ₹5 lakh corporate health insurance from my employer.

What about you guys?

We’re a group of 6 guys in our mid-20s. We’ve been friends since class 4, and now we’re all working. Honestly, they’re some of the best people I could ask for.

But sometimes when we meet, the conversation turns to girls and it usually goes downhill. They start using all kinds of abusive language like “r**i” and other insult and generalize it to all women.

It makes me uncomfortable, but I don’t always say anything because I don’t want to ruin the vibe or create tension in the group.

Do you guys call your friends out in situations like this? If yes, how do you do it without messing up the friendship?