u/GodfatheXTonySoprano

I 25f think I am going through this phase where I am getting the impulses to engage in casual hookups, but not with any random stranger. I used to regularly makeout with my ex even after our breakup whenever I felt like it.. it was fun for the most part but after working on myself in therapy I decided its something I don’t want to continue. Recently I am getting the urges of starting that again but its not just about pleasure, its deeper. Its the feeling of just being held with affection & getting cuddles… hence I realised its touch starvation. I was also getting the impulse of asking the same thing to this guy I was seeing but he decided to call it off, nothing really major happened between us & it was just cute things like holding hands, hugging & cheek kisses with him. We are still friends & I was very close to asking him this today, but I knew it would be very embarrassing. How do single ladies deal with touch starvation?

There is a social media-induced pandemic going on among many Indian women today. Their minds are being flooded with unrealistic expectations, and the so-called relationship influencers are making dollars by feeding them all kinds of nonsense.

I'm in my late 20s, and I see a lot of women in my circle who are still single or unhappy in their marriages. Many of those who are now above 30 and desperately looking for marriage are finding it difficult to get suitable matches.

For years, influencers kept telling them:

• Marry late.
• Never compromise.
• Always go for the good-looking guy.
• Only date tall men.
• Only consider high earners.
• Don't settle for anything below your "bare minimum."

Many spent their 20s chasing these ideals and living in a fantasy created by influencers and reinforced by social media.

One of my college classmates had three relationships in the past and was very proud of her "exploring phase." She regularly shared reels about how women should explore before settling down. Today, at 31, she is getting rejected left and right. Now she is willing to consider men she wouldn't have even looked at a few years ago.

I genuinely feel sorry for the man who eventually marries her because I can only imagine the comparisons she may make with her previous partners.

What is rarely discussed is how this trend affects men. Many women spend years dating men who are far above what they would realistically marry. Later, they end up marrying an average man. This often creates dissatisfaction because expectations have been shaped by years of comparisons and unrealistic standards.

The result can be constant conflict, disappointment, and marital problems.

Men, please be careful before committing. Take your time. Learn about a person's past, values, expectations, and outlook on relationships. Do your research and make informed decisions.

Don't become someone's comparison tool. A wrong decision can make life difficult for years.

https://preview.redd.it/q67nih1n9p3h1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8568d212f0c7b64d35e6b0dd4031136d6125f355

What issues can arise when marrying someone who was in a 5+ year relationship during most of their early 20s?

For people who have dated or married someone like this, what was your experience?

Do people truly move on from such long-term relationships, especially if the breakup was recent?

Can they really love you?

I'm seeing alarming rate of girls suffering from PCOS/PCOD who hide that before marriage and having difficulty in getting pregnant , few divorces too.

Indian women i have seen has no interest in doing any physical activity , just cafe hoping every weekend and hooked on their phones plus new craze of heavy drinking. A significant of them have this disorder so , be careful.

>Hello Everyone...

Posting on behalf of u/BoomBoomBoooomer as requested by him.

I need help how talk to girls.

My background - I come from very remote part of Bihar , did my school from
Bihar and college from one of the NITs , joined job last year in bangalore at a software company. So female interaction is almost non existent in my life schooling was from all boys school and college also i was too shy to talk to any girl ... mostly stayed in closed group of guys with similar background. Now i'm very introvert and shy kind of person ... in my current company my teammates has 5-6 girls and all of them very forward looking. Since i cannot talk properly they assign most of work to me as i cannot say 'no' and i quietly do all the extra work even when someone goes for holidays they ping me to cover them , even if there are more people... my english is also not that great and all of them talk in very good convent educated english...

Main bargain bhi nahi kar pata agar samne wala female aur english me bole.

Mujhe baat karne me bhi dar lgta hai and i fumble so i keep quiet and do all work silently... i have not much friends here so weekends me bhi kuch nahi rehta ... mostly watch cricket all day....

I do not have a single female friend though my co-workers call me friend but i think they want to get their work done so they are nice.. they never invite me ever in weekends.

How do i learn this skill.. please help.

Thanks

>

Cool. Then why are so many women standing in the exact same AM queue?

If Indian men are supposedly so undesirable, then why are thousands of women and more importantly their families desperately filtering biodatas based on salary, assets, foreign posting, government job, family wealth, etc.?

Reality is brutal:

1. A large number of women in AM want a lifestyle upgrade, not “true love.” 4–5 LPA women demanding 25+ LPA men is considered normal in India. But the reverse? Suddenly it becomes “misogyny” or “patriarchy.”
2. Most women do NOT marry down economically. Almost always equal or upward. Yet somehow the narrative online is that women are “settling” for men. Settling where exactly? Into better houses, better lifestyles, financial security, cars, trips, and social status?
3. Many women who ignored fitness, personality, ambition, or self-development during their prime years suddenly expect a polished, high-earning, emotionally mature guy in AM because “husband material.”
4. Families literally compete for high-earning grooms. Dowry may be illegal on paper, but everyone knows how gifting, luxury expectations, destination weddings, flats, cars, and status bargaining work in reality.

And despite all this, some people still act like women are performing humanitarian service by marrying Indian men.

Reality is, many of you dream of getting a high-value guy through the AM setup the same guy who probably wouldn’t even notice you in normal dating life.

I barely use social media like Instagram maybe once or twice a month and I almost never post anything. But whenever someone asks for my Instagram and sees there are barely any posts, they start acting like I’m some suspicious guy hiding from law enforcement.

Why has being private online suddenly become such a weird thing? Some people just don’t enjoy posting their life constantly or spending hours on social media. Does anyone else experience this?

Yesterday a female colleague sent me a reel where a woman was listing the “bare minimum” requirements for men. The list just kept going:

• good finances
• caring
• emotionally available
• stay away from parents
• ambitious
• good communication
• etc etc

Then she suddenly says:
“Girls, these are all bare minimum… but the MOST important thing is you need a SOFT GUY. That’s the MVP.”

And I’m sitting there like…

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

First it was: height ,salary , looks , fitness

Now apparently men also need to be a “soft guy” DLC update.

Is “soft guy” just another social media buzzword for a normal decent human being? Or does it mean emotionally expressive? Non-toxic? A guy who listens? A golden retriever boyfriend?

Genuinely asking because every 3 months internet dating culture invents a new character class for men.

I was skinny all my life. Standing at 6 ft and just 60 kg, I was basically a stick. School was still bearable, but college was worse. My confidence was so low that I used to avoid girls altogether. Four years went by like that no girlfriend, nothing.

I tried gaining weight, but staying in a hostel with terrible food and no money for whey or extra meals made it difficult.

Then I got a job, started earning, joined a gym, trained consistently for 2 years, and ate like a horse. I gained close to 40 lbs muscles . Now I stand at 90 kg.

The confidence change is unreal. I don’t fear confrontation anymore. Even the way people behave around me has changed no more demeaning jokes, people are more respectful and careful with how they talk. I get way more attention from women now. Even aunties at the gym ask for Instagram sometimes lol.

But the biggest gain is how comfortable I’ve become talking to strangers ,police, government officials, random people on the road everyone talks with more respect now.

A guy who once struggled to make eye contact with girls now gets approached by them.

And one underrated benefit I don’t feel cold all the time anymore. Back when I first joined my job, I used to shiver in office AC and constantly ask housekeeping to lower it.

People say “just be confident,” but the reality is that how the world treats you absolutely affects your confidence.

My Instagram feed is full of women posting about how close they are to God and spirituality. Even among my own followers, I’ve noticed college and school friends who used to be atheists and never visited temples are now suddenly becoming very religious and spiritual.

I know it’s not my place to question people’s personal beliefs, but this sudden change feels confusing to me.

Are you guys observing this too?

I really like this maithili song , can you please translate and give me meanings.

>Mohi Lelkhin Sajni Mor Manwa , Song by Sharda Sinha 

I have tried Chat Gpt but not sure if it was correct.

Thanks

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We are in ldr but both live outside india for 5 years now in different countries.

I work in tech so I have a fair bit of male friends.

Recently i planned a trip where we were 6 people ( 4 men and 2 women). The other women decided to withdraw last minute so i still went as i had already spent money. This bothered my bf as it was all men other than me. He has met all my friends so he knows they are good people and he also mentioned he knows my friends are all safe but it still bothered him even though he does fully trust me as per him. He also mentioned that because we are able to talk less during trips, it further adds to the trouble. ( Which would have been if any girls went as well, and is also true when he goes for trip)

The weekend after i planned another 1:1 trip with a gay friend which also bothered him as he questioned my friend's sexuality and he doesn't know if that person is actually gay.

I didn't go as I was not well eventually.

We agreed later that I won't plan any all men trip in future at all.

I was casually mentioning to him a new tankini i had ordered for a beach trip with a mixed group of friends now ( not all men). I wear those with him all the time when we go to beach. He mentioned that other men might look at me in wrong way and this is kind of breaking exclusivity and a form of deception. I can wear those clothes when with him but not in front of any other men.. I mention exclusivity is broken when someone cheats emotionally or physically. How can wearing beach wear at beach break exclusivity?

At this point, i lost it because there were new boundaries each week. I have been totally loyal in the relationship, never given him reason to distrust and this is what I get for it, restrictions that make no sense. It's fairly common to wear tankini in country where we both live now. Every one on beach wears that. Every time he expects me to change my actions and not his thought process . He says my actions deeply bother him and he can't eat/sleep and i can agree to his requests as it is impacting him so much.

I have seen back at home where my mom had similar restrictions of what to wear or who to hangout with and I can't see that happening to me. He knows that, acknowledges my fear but still expects me to change my actions as it impacts him so much. He mentioned how I have become too western/modern and bold and he wants someone simple.

How do I deal with this?

Met a really interesting guy at the airport today. Flight got delayed for hours because of the storm, so we just started talking casually.

He works at the Reserve Bank of India as a Deputy Manager. Engineering grad, joined a few years back, now also preparing for UPSC.

Then he told me about his family history and I was honestly surprised.

His great-grandfather served in the British Indian Army somewhere near the North-West Frontier region close to Afghanistan.
Then his grandfather joined civil services and worked in police services.
His father was also a civil servant.
And now he’s in RBI.

He even showed me old photos of his great-grandfather in uniform. Felt surreal seeing 4 generations connected to government service like that.

I asked him if he’d want his future kids to also go for government jobs. He said earlier he wasn’t very sure and thought private sector was the future, but after seeing how fast AI is changing industries, he’s started valuing the stability of government jobs a lot more.

Not glorifying govt jobs or anything, but it was genuinely fascinating to see a family carry the same tradition through British India, post-independence India, and now the AI era.

I personally don’t think I’d be comfortable if my future partner had a male best friend after marriage. Normal friends, old classmates, colleagues, or casual friendships are completely fine to me but a very close “best friend” dynamic feels different.

Because of that, I also maintain the same boundary for myself and don’t really keep female best friends either.

Is this considered insecure, or is it a reasonable preference as long as both partners are on the same page?

How to transfer ₹10 lakhs to a friend for a medical emergency without tax issues?

A friend’s mother is undergoing a kidney transplant and unfortunately they don’t have insurance coverage. He has asked me for financial help, and I’m planning to transfer around ₹10 lakhs for the treatment.

I wanted to understand the safest and most proper way to do this financially and legally.

-Is it okay to send the amount in one bank transfer, or should it be split into multiple transfers?
-Will there be any income tax implications for either me or him?

Would appreciate advice from people familiar with banking/tax rules in India or anyone who has handled a similar situation.

A friend’s mother is undergoing a kidney transplant and unfortunately they don’t have insurance coverage. He has asked me for financial help, and I’m planning to transfer around ₹10 lakhs for the treatment.

I wanted to understand the safest and most proper way to do this financially and legally.

- Is it okay to send the amount in one bank transfer, or should it be split into multiple transfers?
- Will there be any income tax implications for either me or him?

Would appreciate advice from people familiar with banking/tax rules in India or anyone who has handled a similar situation.

Met this girl through a mutual friend. We both were single so my friend introduced us. We exchanged numbers and started talking. First week was honestly great. Good conversations, good vibe, and we even met once at a temple on the weekend.

Then from the next week her replies started getting slower. First 1-2 hours, then 5-6 hours, sometimes next day. Conversations also became kinda dry. I thought maybe she’s busy and didn’t want to overthink because technically we weren’t dating.

Then next weekend I asked her out for dinner. She agreed, we met, had a really nice time, so I thought maybe everything was fine. But again after that same thing: late replies, low effort, never initiating.

So I slowed down too. Eventually I stopped texting first just to see if she would ever initiate. She didn’t.

Still I asked her out once more for a movie on the weekend. She said she was busy. Later I saw her posting stories.

At that point I genuinely thought she just wasn’t interested.

We barely talked for like 2 weeks after that. Then for one last attempt I asked her if she wanted to go on a short day trip. She refused again saying she was busy, while literally posting stories the whole day.

So I finally accepted the hint.
Removed her number, removed her from Insta and moved on.

Next day she suddenly texted asking why I removed her. I told her honestly that she seemed uninterested.
Then she CALLED me crying saying she actually liked me the whole time and acted distant on purpose because she didn’t want to look “easy to get”.

Now I’m just confused.

How is someone supposed to know you like them when you constantly act uninterested?