I am so tired of putting time and money into healing from the hurt of trusting those who I thought loved me. I wake up and wonder where I went wrong and if I’ll ever be on a better path.
I hope I’m already on it.
I can’t concentrate today. I keep staring out the window, looking for some revelation but all I can think about is how I am no one’s “what if”
I don’t think they think about it.
What if things went well.
What if we built a future together.
What if I was able to hug her after work today.
What if we called later.
What if we talked about our day and shared dinner.
What if we went for a walk and then watched a movie.
What if we traveled and vacationed like we talked about.
What if I had bought the ticket.
What if I hadn’t made her feel like too much..
too little..
What if I hadn’t cheated on her.
What if I didn’t hit her.
What if I hadn’t pushed her limits.
What if I realized she just wanted to talk.
What if she was the one.
What if I had just treated her
like a human being.