r/cf4cf

(Considering how “unsuitable” I am, posting this is like playing the lottery, but hey, you can’t win if you don’t have a ticket, right? So, here’s my ticket.)

Looking for: Long-term partner.

I’m this, that, and the opposite. I can be on both ends of the spectrum.

I can be a sweet kitten—there are a few witnesses—but mostly I’m a bitter, salty, sour, spicy, cranky bitch.

I live in a bad mood but spend my time singing, dancing, and laughing ironically, sarcastically, and cynically at… well, everything.

Left-leaning, but with balls. Anti pseudoscience and anti-bullshit. Not a fan of anyone or anything. Disillusioned with pretty much everyone and everything.

I love to read. My favorite genre is humorous fantasy—Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Christopher Moore, etc., or anything that makes me laugh. Discworld books are my favorite. I’m also into authors who turn your thoughts and emotions inside out, tear your life open, and throw the pieces to the beasts. For poetry: Benedetti, Idea Vilariño, Diarios by Alejandra Pizarnik—her “poetry” sucks—Julia Prilutzky, Bécquer, Jaime Sabines.

Hobbies: biking, puzzles, outdoor activities, pretty much anything out in nature.

Six things I could never do without: something to read, something to listen to, life like a musical, rain, wind, and nature.

Hardware store "fan". I’d rather fix things myself.

I have a dog.

Currently working to live a simple life, but not a boring one, up in some mountain, with minimalism meets high-tech and good design. Preferably with a “wind tree” (Frodinia tremula) nearby.

Collector of melancholy music genres: tango, fado, zamba, bolero, ballads, Peruvian waltz, tonada, blues… but I dance through life solo, preferably samba-like steps.

Sometimes I feel I am 5 years old; other times, 200.

Honestly, I’m quite SICK of almost everything and everyone, but I still try to help out here and there when I can—mainly animals. I’d like to be Mary Poppins, but life turned me into Cruella de Vil. I’ve got a cemetery inside me, filled with all the things I've lost.

I complain a LOT and criticize even more. If you can’t handle this black hole of a woman, nothing happened here, just keep walking.

I refuse to be treated as a second-class citizen, whether for being a woman, from a “shithole” country, or whatever else. I’m too strange, too eccentric, too bitter, and too sour to be a scammer, and if you think someone with my personality could be a scammer... let’s just not waste each other’s time.

I am a strong woman, but I’m not looking for a weak, coward, ballless or submissive man.
I really can’t stand people who lie to fit in.
I’m not interested in goofy, or clownish men.
I have no interest in van life.
I have no interest in weed being a central part of my life—or yours.
I’m not interested in hearing you brag about your privileged white first-world life.
I have no interest in military personnel or veterans.
I’m not interested in libertarians or anarchists.
I’m not interested in gun enthusiasts. I am not polyamorous

---

You:

• NOT A LIAR
• NOT a gamer
• STRONG ATHEIST, ANTI-RELIGIONIST, TRUTH-TELLER, MISANTHROPE, SKEPTIC, FEMINIST, LEFT-LEANING, CHILD-FREE, OUTDOORSY, SINGLE
• Preferably cynic, realistic/pessimistic…
• Weird enough to be interesting, but not so weird you’re creepy
• Capable of holding a conversation, aiming for open and transparent communication; since I’m fucking fed up with shy or cryptic types. I will not be your private reality show either. I won’t entertain you while you reply to me with dumb emojis and LOLs. I’m not interested in having to extract information from you with a fucking crowbar
• Not threatened by my personality
• Can tolerate my shitty English—I am a native Spanish speaker
• Send me a DM/chat with a recent photo, telling me why you think we’re compatible/complementary

---

>Unas veces me siento
como pobre colina
y otras como montaña
de cumbres repetidas.

>Unas veces me siento
como un acantilado
y en otras como un cielo
azul pero lejano.

>A veces uno es
manantial entre rocas
y otras veces un árbol
con las últimas hojas.

>Pero hoy me siento apenas
como laguna insomne
con un embarcadero
ya sin embarcaciones
una laguna verde
inmóvil y paciente
conforme con sus algas
sus musgos y sus peces,
sereno en mi confianza
confiando en que una tarde
te acerques y te mires,
te mires al mirarme.

— Mario Benedetti

Algo en común - Enrique Bunbury

---

Addendum (AI):

• Strong Atheist – Actively believes that no gods exist, taking a stronger stance than simply lacking belief. This position explicitly asserts that deities do not exist. It differs from being non-religious, which simply means not following or identifying with any religion. The term non-religious is broader than strong atheist and includes atheists, agnostics, secularists, and even spiritual individuals who reject organized religion but still believe in a higher power. A non-religious person may be indifferent to the existence of gods rather than actively denying them.
• Anti-religionist – Actively opposes religion and its influence in society. Views religion as harmful, oppressive, and misleading.
• Truth-teller – Values honesty above convenience or social comfort. Commits to stating what they believe to be true, even when it is unpopular, uncomfortable, or personally costly. Prioritizes accuracy and integrity over manipulation, omission, or self-serving narratives.
• Skeptic – Questions claims, especially those without empirical evidence. Demands logical reasoning and proof before accepting beliefs, often applying this mindset to religion, pseudoscience, and societal narratives.
• Misanthrope – Distrusts or dislikes humanity as a whole, often due to cynicism about human nature, behavior, or society.
• Cynic – Believes that people are motivated primarily by self-interest rather than altruism. Tends to distrust institutions, authorities, and societal norms, assuming ulterior motives behind most actions.
• Feminist – Supports gender equality and the social, political, and economic rights of women. Comes in different forms but, at its core, advocates for dismantling gender-based discrimination.
• Left-Leaning – Politically inclined toward progressive or liberal policies, often emphasizing social justice, equality, environmental protection, and government intervention in economic matters.
• Childfree – Has chosen not to have children, often due to personal, ethical, environmental, or lifestyle reasons. Differs from being childless, which implies wanting children but being unable to have them.
• DIYer – Prefers to make, repair, or build things independently rather than relying on professionals or store-bought solutions.
• Outdoorsy – Enjoys spending time in nature, engaging in activities like hiking, camping, or exploring the wilderness.
• Realist/Pessimist – A realist sees the world as it is, without idealizing or romanticizing it. A pessimist, however, tends to expect negative outcomes or believe that things will likely go wrong.

Okay so I'm 27, based in India, work in tech, and my life is honestly pretty quiet by choice. Evenings are whatever game I'm currently obsessed with, an anime I've been "almost done with" for three weeks, or a show I told myself I'd watch casually and then finished in two days. Nothing extraordinary on the surface.

But here's the thing. I've been to Vietnam, walked around Ho Chi Minh City alone, sat at cafes with great coffee and no one to say "try this" to. Went to Kuala Lumpur, same story. Both trips were good. But good is kind of the problem. There's a specific feeling of seeing something beautiful or strange or funny and having no one to turn to, and I'm done collecting that feeling.

Underneath the quiet life there's someone who remembers the small things you mention, follows up on them three weeks later, and actually means it when he asks how you're doing. I don't have a big ego, I don't play games with people's feelings, and I'm genuinely better at listening than most people expect.

I'm not looking for something casual or something that fades after a week of good morning texts. I want something real. The kind where you talk properly, sometimes disagree, share what you're watching, and slowly figure out that you actually want to keep this person around. Someone where even a random Tuesday conversation feels like something worth having.

If any of this felt familiar, tell me where you'd go if someone said yes to a trip right now. I'll tell you mine.

Hey, my name is Thomas, I am putting myself out there to see if anyone is interested in a guy looking to figure out what to do with his life. I currently have a college degree in finance that I don’t use because I ended up hating working in banking; Now I’m a delivery driver at the moment, yet it’s the first job I’ve had I actually enjoy. I got my own place and car so I have some things figured out I suppose, however I do want to have a life with someone who wants similar things I want and will enjoy me as a person.

I believe compatibility is key to a successful relationship as my last one did not work out for this very reason, so I am going to lay out aspects of myself to you to see if I have things in common with you.

Things about me:

◦	I am an atheist but not a cringy one (I just don’t care about participating in religion)    
◦	I never want to have children so zero exceptions    
◦	I enjoy cleanliness and being on top of things in general    
◦	I enjoy movies and tv shows + I collect them as a hobby on disc    
◦	I do game sometimes and have all the equipment to play them but haven’t as much as of late (been enjoying doing more things outside lately)    
◦	I love cycling, walking, and going to nature areas to see pretty sights    
◦	I enjoy beaches and being in water outside so I do love to swim     
◦	I am getting better at cooking but would love to do it with someone and meal prep too to save money    
◦	I am 6 feet tall, a little chubbier but I am getting in good shape due to my occupation and weight training, have hazel eyes, and a big head lol    
◦	I have always enjoyed weather and history as interests since I was a small boy

Pic of me: https://imgur.com/a/f1LMsp2

Hit me up if you are interested. \*\*\*I really only enjoy voice chatting as a way of connecting with someone on here; only consider messaging me if you are down to doing that because I am horrible at texting\*\*\*

[deleted]

I'm a 25M living in Germany pursuing my Masters and working part-time as a research assistant. I have no hopes of finding a childfree partner on dating apps when everyone out here is wanting to have children or aren't sure of having children yet. This is definitely not my first time posting here, and won't be the last.

About Me

• I'm silly and freespirited, an awkward extrovert, love to crack bad jokes (not limited to brainrot), and love to yap.
• Chalant, around the right people.
• I'm an atheist. I’m a leftist, and I’m still learning everything there is about political movements and ideologies.
• I can speak 5 languages!
• I’m 5’8, I have a moderately active lifestyle, trying to get chiseled after going into weight loss. I prioritize eating healthy while trying to enjoy my favorite dishes. I drink in social settings, and I don't smoke or do drugs.

And since I’ve been asked this a couple of times before, I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m a little late to the party called life, it took a while to show up for myself, and I’m yet to find that special someone.

Interests

• I'm an engineer by profession but have a deep love for cinema. I'm always impressed by the technical aspects of it, but I still love and appreciate great storytelling. I like to take apart movies and analyze them.
• I take interest in photography and videography. I'm an amateur at best, but I'm not afraid to experiment whenever I can. I shoot on my iPhone and edit it from scratch. I like the painstaking process that comes with taking beautiful pictures, definitely one of my top "slow dopamine release" activities.
• I’ve taken an interest in Japanese martial arts (Budo) in recent times. It’s been an enriching experience, despite the sore body.
• Travelling (as long as I'm not broke)
• Getting back into the habit of reading after a long period of studying only academic texts. I like reading fiction and non-fiction.
• Music enjoyer; metal, rock, jazz, pop, experimental stuff that itches a part of my brain, to name a few. I should just show my playlists atp.
• I’m a casual gamer. I'm currently hooked onto the Resident Evil franchise. I play multiplayer and co-op games with friends whenever I get the time from my busy schedule.
• I’m a foodie. I like trying out new cuisines and recipes. I don’t particularly enjoy the process of cooking, but I choose recipes that I can meal-prep, and once I get into the flow, I forget about everything and take it till the end.

Why am I childfree?

I got to know I’m CF around the age of 21-22. With time I’ve introspected whether I would change my stance if the world became a better place. But there has been one constant throughout and is the only standing reason for me sticking to being CF. I don’t feel the necessity or instinct or “urge” to have kids. It is never in the picture when I think of my future. It simply doesn’t make sense to me why it is an obligation. It doesn’t make sense to have kids to take care of you when you’re old, because you forgot to take care of yourself when you were young and now you can't wipe your ass by yourself at 80.

I want the freedom to take big life decisions that simply wouldn't be possible with a child to take care of. I don’t believe in the idea of maintaining a legacy, when people will either remember me for the impact I’ve made in their lives, or be reduced to an afterthought after I pass away.

What am I looking for in a potential partner?

• Age range: 22-29
• Living in German, or Europe, or currently in India and planning to move to Germany or the EU
• Looking for a long-term relationship
• Is Atheist/Agnostic
• Leftist, Left-leaning
• Not a fencesitter

I'm always happy to meet someone with different interests and quirks. I would love to meet someone who introduces me to new things and makes me come out of my comfort zone. I want to meet someone with whom I don't have to play 4D chess to woo them. I want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings with my partner freely, knowing I'll be accepted as I am. I want that warm, snug feeling that comes with love. Even in dull moments, I want to be with someone who feels like home. 🧿

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. If I caught your eye with my post and would like to get to know me, dm me with an intro about yourself and the emoji I used in this post.

After being out of a relationship for a year, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on myself, healing, and rediscovering the things that make me happy. Now I feel ready to try dating again but honestly, it feels different in your 40s. Less games, more intention,but also harder to know where to start.

For those in the same stage or who found love again later in life, how did you meet people? Online dating? Friends? Hobbies? Community events?

I’d really appreciate honest tips and advice.

Hi! First time posting here, yay!

I’m 26, 5’4 and pretty introverted but trying to be more open to the world. I love quiet nights, cafes, road trips, seafood, animals, movies, jazz bars and being around funny people. I’m naturally a bit reserved at first, but once I’m comfortable I can get pretty annoying lol.

I value comfort, stability and I love things that feel and look good but I sometimes do impulsive things for the plot 🤪.
I’m mostly a homebody, but I do try new things especially when my friends drag me out.
I think I’m also more open minded and unconventional than most so nothing is ever TMI with me lol.

Interested in getting to know someone I can try new things with and stay at home with under a fluffy blanket at the same time :)
I’d also prefer if you’re talkative!

Adding pics to describe my niche little vibe better because what’s better than a Pinterest feed LOL

Open to meeting new friends too❤️

Hi I am child free and looking for a long term monogamous relationship. I am based in Massachusetts and I would not like to leave New England.

I spent 16 years as a scientist and now I’m in an ABSN program and I graduate this December. I love spin and running and being active in general. I have a great sense of humor and I am looking for someone who is dark and sarcastic like me. I like cooking and spend a lot of time meal prepping on the weekends. I love reading Stephen king or Ruth ware, I love animals, and I’m heavily tattooed. My dad is my best friend. I don’t eat pork or beef and I love sushi. I go to therapy once a week( I have really bad anxiety but I’m working on it) and I just turned 38 last week. I love horror movies and futurama.

I have worked very hard to make my life peaceful and quiet and I value coming home to a quiet house after a long day. I plan on getting my tubes tied after I graduate.

I am liberal and looking for the same. I’m an atheist and I have 3 college degrees. I am looking for someone respectful who has similar interests and hobbies. I have a weakness for bearded blue collar men but I am open to seeing what’s out there.

Thanks for reading.

Edited for clarity: please don’t send me dick pics 🥲

Looking for the D to my (s)INK 🙂‍↕️ (shamelessly reusing the caption of my post a while ago)

I miss the feeling of getting excited for someone and I have absolutely zero luck with dating apps, finding someone who’s seriously childfree. Feeling a little nervous about making a post here again this time lol.

- I’m 26 and born and raised in Germany but I’m „wasian“
- 5‘7/1,70m tall for reference, and I hope my pictures gave it away but I’m more on the chubby side and losing weight right now (also as a goal before getting sterilized to limit issues during the operation) also no make up realness as my last picture lol.
- I kind of change my haircolour every now and then but it ranges at most from a chocolate brown to black.
- I have 10 tattoos and plan to get more :)
- living by myself and working in aviation for a few years now
- Of course I love to travel and I definitely become more extroverted on my solo trips, I try to have a trip planned all the time :)
- I’m also a homebody and love to game, read and do crossword puzzles.
- I gym frequently, but I’d like to pick up some new sports (I’m going to a golf resort soon let’s see how that goes lol)
- I do enjoy a party every now and then but I don’t enjoy drinking that much anymore, I just love dancing and karaoke.
- I’m not sterilized YET but I want to and would hope my future partner would want to as well. I‘m on birth control for now.
- Oh I also like cosplays and dressing up ✨
- I like to take care of mental health by journaling and talking to close ones, I’ve been to therapy and sad songs are BANNED.

Okay enough talking about myself before I feel like a douche:
- I’m looking for someone 24-36 years old and location wise I don’t really have a preference since I see most places as just a flight away (probably an aviation habit)
- Equally outgoing, maybe more outgoing than me, and a homebody
- Maybe one or two common hobbies, though I’d like to learn about yours as well
- Seeks a romantic relationship as well
- Has an ethical dilemma over his lust for me😩
- Wants to get sterilized as well
- CHALANT
- Is Open to try new things, emotional intelligent and kind

If you found any of this interesting, I hope to see your introduction in my inbox 💌 and if not I still hope you have a nice day anyway.

Also I really hope the format doesn’t end up too bad to read lol.

**Disclaimer**: I am *severely* allergic to cats. I love dogs though and have one!

With that out of the way, hello cf peeps!

My names Tim, I am a 39 year old male.

5'11" ~190 lbs.

I am staunchly left leaning (fuck this government) and not religious.

https://imgur.com/a/OLA4lNy

I am here in search of maiden (or at least a brain piloting their flesh prison, im not picky), and im excited to not have children.

I live in the Twin Cities, MN and would prefer local but hey shoot your shot.

I am a hybridization of degenerate gamer and athletic. I like to stay active but wouldnt blink an eye at a 12 hour gaming session on a saturday 🫣 (or the LOTR extended editions). I am not outdoorsy aside from walking my dog, dont ask me to go camping lol. If I am leaving my residence it is to go inside somewhere else (mostly).

On my gamer side, I mostly play PC games: path of exile 1&2, dota2, slay the spire, and will play story/puzzle games when the mood strikes. E33 was astounding, I love Zelda games! There are other misc games but thats the gist. I also like to play board games at social gatherings.

I would probably prefer someone who games but if you tolerate it and have your own personal hobbies to fill that time I am open to it.

As far as staying active goes, I play hockey multiple times a week year round and kickball in the warm months, if im not playing sports I try to go to the gym to lift a couple days a week. (I do not watch sports)

My media interests tend to lean very nerdy. I love fantasy and sci fi, and watch some anime as well. I love going to the movies.

I tend to only drink at social gatherings and I dont smoke anything but dont mind if you smoke weed.

Creatively I dabble in playing piano, I didnt play instruments growing up but got into it a couple years ago and would like to get better. I love me some music! Pretty much like something in every genre except country, but i love 2000s pop, punk pop, alt rock, video game/anime soundtracks. Any piano music really.

Career wise I am solidly type B. With all above said hobbies it is merely a tool to afford them. I am not super ambitious but you gotta work to play. I am gainfully employed.

Send a DM if youd like, hope to hear!

Hi!

I’m 6ft tall with caramel/olive skin depending on the season. I have a shaved head but with a beard to compliment otherwise I’d be an actual egg. I have blue eyes which everyone says is my standout feature. Other than that I have a bad case of RBF. I have maybe 14 tattoos all around my body, I may look scary but I promise I’m a big softy. 😇

Here is a pic for reference, yes I understand it’s blurry but let’s keep things mysterious - just kidding I’ll happily send better pics in dms.

Build wise I’m muscular yet a lil squishy. (This varies depending on what I’m doing - last year I dropped 20kgs but now I’m bulking again)

I’m a fairly relaxed person even nonchalant if you must. I love the simple things in life, beaches, cafes, exploring the urban jungle and going on road trips. I’m also a massive foodie - it’s probably the main reason I travel is to try new foods, it’s pretty much the key to my heart. As much as this makes me sound like an extrovert I do have a small social battery, you can find me at home binging shows and playing games (pc/switch for those who game!)

My main hobby is working out, you can find me in the gym most days I prefer weights over cardio but both work hand in hand! I’m always happy to give advice or walk you through no matter what level you’re at!

As my title says I’m based in Australia but due to my line of work I have flexibility to get a job anywhere in the world! So convince to come visit you 🤪 my job is niche to some but I love what I do!

I don’t have a preference on who I talk too, age, ethnicity and location don’t bother me! All are welcome.

Looking for a provider type.
ALL NATURAL, what you see is what you get!!
Not religious and not into politics!!

In a partner, I value emotional intelligence, honesty, and someone who can communicate openly. At the same time, I love having fun and being a bit silly. Ideally I’m looking for someone who can be both a best friend and a partner. Bonus points if you're opened mind and can make me laugh :)

I have this overwhelming desire to spend a summer in NYC and just get in random cabs and urgently say to the driver "follow that car!" I feel like this has gotta be a less common movie trope with the surge in Uber and lyft now. This kind of thing would definitely fuck up my current 5 star rating for lyft/Uber. I did spend a semester in NYC in college and have been back a handful of times since including later this month. It is still in my top 5 US places I'd love to live, I'm just not willing to pay NYC apartment prices at this time or have roommates again.

Why does it seem like everyone is a nerd these days? Maybe it's the nature of looking for a partner on the internet, but being online in itself doesn't make you a nerd anymore. If anything it makes us all normal and basic. Everyone is a slave to their devices anymore. It used to be sketchy and questionable to find a partner online. It's more shocking now to meet out in the wild, IRL especially in your late 30s and 40s.

I'm rambling now so let's get to the important stuff. Fair warning this is long. So just feel free to swipe through the photos, decide if I'm your type and move on if I'm not.

I am a 39 year old straight single cis female seeking a straight cis gendered single male 34-44. Jeez, that was a mouthful! Some wiggle room with age, but I honestly couldnt see myself going below 30. I know and like who i am, and id like the same in a partner. I'd prefer someone close to me within a few hours drive. But I also do have some flexibility to travel if it's a non-stop from my regionals. I don't work for an airline, but I do fly a decent amount yearly in the US leisurely. LDR is not my preference, but I also am realistic enough to know my dating pool as a CF woman of color is greatly reduced in my area/state. I have a lot of roots here, family, career and I own my own home so relocation is not something I'm open to at this time. I'd like to be a dreamer and say for the right man I'd move, but that would be a conversation id have to have with the right man at the right time. LDR would only work if we're both willing and able to put in the effort to travel to see each other regularly.(quality time!)

I have a lot of the same hobbies as most average people.

~Reading(fiction mostly, an occasional memoir). I've had and exceeded my goal of 52+ books a year the last couple years. I'm a little behind and only on books 18/19 now.

~Writing- I've been writing stories from a young age, and it's something I really enjoy. I've been to a handful of conferences and retreats over the years. Even if no one ever reads some of the stuff I write, I still enjoy doing it.

~Traveling and seeing things and people outside of my immediate comfort zone and creature comforts. Now that I've got the US pretty well covered, I'd like to travel internationally more often.

~Watching movies. I'm one of those people that still prefers movies in theaters. Even the ones that end up being terrible. It's too easy to get distracted at home. When I'm in the theater, my phone is off and I'm focused on the big screen. One of my favorite new additions of the last few years has been going to the Monday night mystery movie when I'm able to. I actually prefer when it ends up being a movie I may not have seen otherwise. I've only been tempted to walk out twice when the movies were awful. I enjoy movies at home of all genres and several TV series as well.

~Food. I love to eat! I'm trying to cook more often. I love experimenting with flavors, I just hate the prep work side of cooking like slicing and dicing vegetables and herbs. I love trying out different restaurants and small coffee shops when I travel to different places. I've also done a few group cooking classes in different states and had a lot of fun with those. I have a sweet tooth and fully embrace desserts. I enjoy spicy foods as well, if you can't handle some heat and if you think green bell peppers are too spicy, we might not get along.

~ Workouts and running. Running is a big part of my life. I run 5-6 days a week. I've completed a marathon in 32/50 US states as of writing this and 2 marathons overseas. I have at least 4 other marathons in 4 new states planned for the rest of this year. I like going to classes and group workouts at the gym focusing on strength. I am far from skinny, I dont have a typical marathoners body, but I am pretty fit with a good amount of muscle and a great resting heart rate. I do still have the type of arm backfat that makes it seem like I can fry the best chicken. I however cannot fry chicken.

~Podcasts. I like storytelling podcast that make me think or ones that can make me laugh outloud while I'm pounding the pavement for hours of running. I enjoy going to live show episodes of podcasts when I can make it work.

~Music. I enjoy a variety of music. Most music from the 90s through the 2010s is on some Playlist that I'm singing along to regularly. The things they now consider "throwbacks " on the radio are songs I was probably still listening to last week. I still play CDs in my car. My last concert was JoJo(too little too late) last year in Nashville.

~I love live stand up comedy as well as live sports. I'm not a die hard of any specific team or sport, but I have been to NBA, NHL, NFL and MLB games while out of state for races.

Non negotiables

~Child free. This means no kids zero, zilch. This doesn't mean you have your kids part time. This doesn't mean you have grown kids. This doesn't mean you have kids that you're not a part of their lives. This doesn't mean that you are still undecided about wanting kids and that you don't want them now, but might want them later. There is no later for me, and i won't change my mind. I don't generally hate kids, I see and speak to my close-by niece and nephew at least weekly. I enjoy being the "rich" aunt. I just know without any doubts that I don't want my own kid.

~Gainfully employed, financial stability and in a stable career. I'm knocking on 40's door and have been in my career for over a decade. The guys in my age range that I'm interested in should be in a similar position to me as changing careers or just getting started in one is a young person's game. I find it very commendable for people to return to school at a later age and follow their passions, it's just not something I'm interested in being a part of at this season of my life.

~into health and fitness. I run marathons. That's not meant to be a brag. It's a big part of my life as most of my traveling is for half and full marathon races across the country and around the world.(as my pictures tell the story of) I'm not saying you also need to run marathons or even halfs, but a certain level of fitness is important to me in a good match. I mean we could run together. I'm all for that, or just high five each other after finishing our respective workouts solo. I do enjoy talking about marathons and running with people who WANT to talk about it, but don't worry I'm not one of those people where I feel the need to insert it into every conversation.

~Along the same line there needs to be mutual physical attraction. I'm not going to be everyone's type and everyone is not going to be my type and that's okay. I prefer taller men with fit/athletic bodies. Not saying a 6-pack is necessary, but a guy who takes care of himself(hygiene!) Is important to me in a good match. Physical intimacy and physical touch are huge. I want to want my partner.

~No heavy drinking, drugs, or smokers please. I have dated guys who were one or more of the above and ultimately our lifestyles just vary too much. I drink on occasion, but it's not a necessity and if Alcohol ceased to exist tomorrow my life wouldn't be that drastically different. Although I'd probably be dealing with a lot of patients in withdrawal.

~No criminal record or time incarcerated. I truly believe people can and do serve their time and can be rehabilitated back into society. One of my favorite podcasts(Ear hustle) talks about life in and after prison. I just don't know that my life would align very well with someone in a position like that as the trickle down effects are too significant. There are also issues with many wrongly convicted people, But that's a conversation for another day.

Things that although aren't "deal breakers" they probably won't sit well with me

~Someone who eats pizza with a knife and fork(yes, even Chicago style deep dish. Get messy! Enjoy that food!)

~Someone who puts the toilet paper roll on the wrong way. If you're questioning which way is the wrong way I'm probably talking to you.

~Someone with a thick or extensive beard. I know that look is in for a lot of people but it's just not my personal taste.

~Someone who has been married before.

~Someone who is really religious as I am not at all and won't convert.

~Someone who is on the extreme end of introversion and never wants to socialize with others, or never wants to leave the house and do things or who finds social norms difficult to navigate. This should be on the non-negotiable list honestly.

~Someone who plays a lot of video games. I won't be your player 2. I enjoy video games on occasion, but it's not a big part of my life. I probably would not be very compatible with someone who spends a significant amount of time gaming. The last system I bought was a wiiU which I haven't used in years now. We all have our time sucking vices, gaming just isn't mine.

I want to have fun again with a partner. Going places, doing things, touching each other. We get so bogged down in the serious nature of finding our person that we forget to just enjoy ourselves and the situations we may encounter along the way. I understand how contradictory this sounds after listing a bunch of non-negotiables. But I know acquiescing to those things will ultimately lead to being incompatible. I'm no longer interested in riding the incompatibility roller coaster. Or forcing a connection that just isn't there. It can be thrilling in the short term, but the longevity of it gets nauseating. All That being said, I'm not one of those people looking for male friends and see where things go. I'm actively seeking a relationship and wanting to date and get to know each other with that being the goal. I feel like in my past experience with online dating years ago, guys will say things like "Let's start as friends and see where things go" and that translates to "let me keep my options open and never define the relationship while I continue to lead you on." I'm almost 40. I'm just too old for the games. The situationships. The one sided feelings. Be real with me and I will be real with you. I think you should have a strong friendship with your partner, but I'm also being Intentional in putting myself out there and wanting to date. Getting to know men with a monogamous relationship being the goal.

This all probably comes off slightly acerbic but I promise I'm much more easy going, heavily sarcastic and lighthearted in real life.

Ultimately I'm seeking someone who's kind and thoughtful. Not in a performative way, but innately kind. Someone who values honesty, communication and respect. Someone who will listen to me. A man who wants a partner, not a surrogate mother. A man who wants to build a relationship and put forth effort. Someone who I get excited about being with everyday.

This has gotten long so I'll end with all the same tags people usually end these with. No MAGA/conservatives. No polyamory or couples. No one or two word messages. No one only interested in a hookup. I swear if one more person says "if this resonates with you, send me a message." I'm going to...I don't know...Be convinced that reddit is all bots pretending to be humans. If you couldn't be bothered to read this far we're likely incompatible anyways.

Also, Send a face/body picture with your message, this is 2026! I've been lurking here for a few months now and i cant believe how many posts say "your picture gets mine." Or "pic for pic" This feels so transactional. So if I'm an uggo you wont send one back? The only exception to this should be if you're in witness protection. And if thats the case you're probably not in a good space in your life to be dating. It also raises the question why you're in Witness protection and why the people who are looking for you are specifically looking in the cf4cf subreddit. I wonder if that would make a good meet cute for a shitty hallmark movie. TAGLINE: She was looking for love online, but instead she found her mark where she least expected it. I'm rambling again. I posted pictures of myself, you can do the same. My post history isn't hidden. Maybe this is naive of me, but it essentially just reiterates my interest listed above. Don't ask for my socials because I don't have any. K TTYL IDK My BFF JILL.

*Edited because formatting/readability was atrocious!

Hey hey, I’m 27 and I want to find someone from Europe, with whom we will have a lot in common and we can talk about different topics. I can say about myself that I mostly try to spend my free time actively. I go dancing, work out at the gym, and recently started playing tennis:) I'm interested in psychology and drawing, and I love traveling and finding inspiration there. I enjoy going out into nature to simply get away from the city noise, but the main thing is that there aren't too many insects.
I'd be happy to chat with you.

Childfree friends?
As a woman that’s an introvert it’s hard making friends sometimes already. Having friends with children can be hard at times because sometimes people change (for those that have experienced that). I’m here to try and meet new people that I can most likely relate to and hopefully have good conversations with. (Don’t get that personal we’re still strangers) and also I’m a 4 eyed girl btw) Thank you🫶🏾

Been using the apps, but not really finding anyone who's also childfree - then saw this and thought “why not?” before I take a break

I’m 30 and based just outside Plymouth. I work remotely as a senior front-end engineer (in a less geeky way, I do the visual/interactive stuff on websites) ☺️ I own a house and have a good life down here, but could see myself moving at some point if I met the right person - maybe more towards Bristol/Cardiff/Cotswolds-y area, somewhere near a city, but on the outskirts/in the countryside.

After someone who’s up for weekends away, muddy boot walks with scenic bench views, and who stops to listen to the birds. Someone to talk rubbish over board games, get in each other’s way trying to be “helpful” cooking dinner, and sit around vibing to music together.

About me:

• 5’10”, atheist, left-wing, childfree, non-smoker, don’t do drugs, drink socially, meat eater, dog lover (like cats too, just never lived around them!)
• Love getting outdoors for hikes to the woods/moors/coast, popping to a National Trust property (parking’s on me 💅), running - done several half marathons now, odd bit of padel, and am looking to get back into kayaking and swimming
• I’ve become a bit of a bird nerd over the past few years… late twenties really flips a switch in your brain to this stuff 😅 I’m no expert, but enjoy it - desperate to see a puffin in the wild. TLDR: I’m looking for someone who will stop mid-convo to point out and ID birds with me 😂
• Very happy at home and in my own company. I like to play the piano/guitar, occasionally write/record things to release on Spotify/SoundCloud, read, play board games, and do the odd bit of baking. Made a pretty class millionaire’s shortbread last week, if I do say so myself 💅
• Also like to play the Switch (getting back into Pokemon/Animal Crossing atm), and have recently been learning to crochet… very much a work in progress 🫠 oh, and I’m a massive Doctor Who nerd. Love geeky tv shows and movies
• Big fan of theatre, both plays and musicals - I’ve had Once (one of my favs!) and Waitress on repeat the past couple weeks
• Also big into gigs/festivals. I’ll be trying for Glastonbury tickets for the rest of my life, been 4 times now and have such a great time there. Recently seen Radiohead and Laufey live, and got Wolf Alice soon. Music is a massive thing for me. I’m mainly into indie/alt/alt-pop/rock/soul/jazz, but my taste is a bit all over. I WILL be making you playlists, no doubt about that 😅

I’m looking for:

• A serious long-term and monogamous relationship
• 25-33 (ish) female, childfree
• UK based, preferably South West
• Non-smoker and no drugs
• Politically left, and ideally atheist/agnostic
• Someone emotionally available, kind, honest, mature, communicative, similarly independent, and knows what they want
• Curiosity and ambition - someone who has things they care about and are working towards: whether it’s learning something new, creative projects, personal goals, career things, financial stability, etc

If any of this sounds like your vibe, do send me a message with a bit about yourself and a picture or two please! ☺️

I've come to a point in my life where my commitment to a successful career is paying off and I am nearing a comfortable early retirement. Now I am ready to fully commit to a life-long partner.

I'm not into daily horoscopes but my birth sign Cancer describes me well:

• I'm deeply nurturing, loyal, and emotionally intuitive.
• I desire deep conversations and long-term commitment.
• I show love through acts of service and affection.
• I prefer cozy nights in over wild nights out.

About me:

• 6'4", 195 lbs, average build
• Live just North of Denver / E-470
• Enjoy sewing, anime, D&D, board games, fantasy/sci-fi, and programming (what I do for work)
• Time together is important to me
• Done my healing and will continue as needed
• ☕/🍵 ✅
• Sober (never drank), ok if you do
• Workout 3-4 times a week
• Homebody mostly, ok for some hiking and travel to mix things up
• Organizes regular meetups for friends to hangout and have fun together
• Liberal
• LGBTQ+ rights
• Never Trump
• Enneagram 2, INFJ

Looking for:

• Age anywhere from 30s to 40s
• Preferably lives in the greater Denver area or along I-25
• No smokers or drug users. I'm ok with some 420 but not for me
• Enjoys meandering & deep conversations and likes to share their ideas & emotions

Interested?

Feel free to respond here or if you DM me, please tell me a bit about yourself, general location, and a picture.