Hello again! Apologies for my weekly postings as I try to trial and error this quest for a bra that fits post-hysterectomy. I am back with another fit check, and will link to prior Fit Checks too. My main issue is that in most bras I've ever worn, the fabric—not the wires—are cut too wide for me and the side support and straps cut into my underarm and shoulder as I have very narrow shoulders. I also need a ton of immediate projection.

My original post with my measurements was asking if any of what I had ordered might not fit before I ordered it. The orders have now started rolling in.

All of the links are protected and the pw is the style name (or in the case of Jewel Cove, the first word of the style name) all in lowercase. I kept getting creepers follow me(!!) on imgbb so now this is what I have to do…

• Freya Viva in 28H - the band feels firm, not tight; it feels like that strips of lace along the top of my boob is cutting into it a bit, but I don't mind it much. The wires feel very wide, and there's a difference in wrinkling if I life my arms or not. Is there sufficient projection? Is the band too tight?
• Cleo Blossom in 30GG - this feels like it fits when I'm on day 1 of my cycle, then in later days both the cup and the band feel not as supportive as I want. They're sold out of 28H or I'd just go get that, but you guys also said the band looked too tight (even though it feels like in a month it'll be too loose). This is the only bra I've ever tried with sufficient immediate projection.
• Parfait Elissa bustier in 28G - this was comically bad, as discussed in this post
• Freya Jewel Cove swim in 30H - this is from the same post as above, the wires were wide but ok, but the fabric itself was murdering my arm/shoulder because the straps were too wide-set.

Today the Cleo Asher and Freya Hallie are coming. After seeing how the Viva is, I'm worried they might be even less forgiving along that top of boob space.

But between the Viva and the Blossom, is either better than the other? Both bad? Both ok but not great?

Currently the only boob support that fits my size is the Panache Marianna bandeau bikini top so I'm desperate for a bra that fits close enough.

Thank you!!!

Just ordered a 30H Freya Jewel Cove (because someone said the cup ran small, and I sort of agree) and a 28H Parfait Elissa (because someone said the band ran loose and the cup was true to size—I agree on the band but these cups are gargantuan). There are fit checks below that are protected and the pass is the model name, or the first word of it in the case of the swim. All lowercase.

I don’t know where to go from here. I’m a 30GG or 28H, FOB and projected. Neither of these feels projected enough for me. I don’t feel like I need crazy narrow wires but the Elissa is almost on my back… The Jewel is puckering at the sides—is that because I have no tissue there? I have a polka dot swim bottom that I just want a solid color swim top to go with, and I’m looking for a beige bra for every day that doesn’t have the apex issue you can see with the Jewel.

You can see how wide the Jewel is too. Even though the wires aren’t crazy wide, the fabric is wide on the sides so it slices my underarm and front of my shoulder. I could never wear this all day.

The Elissa cups are comically big. I would need a 28GG UK for this to fit but it already feels not projected enough for me at a size two sizes bigger.

https://ibb.co/album/N7rry5

https://ibb.co/album/RGGJrg

I have to use Lyft to get to one of my clients at least 1-3x per week, both ways, so between 2-6 Lyfts. Without question, the driver always asks me, Do you have kids? like it's any of his fucking business (it's always the male drivers that get this ridiculously personal with me).

I say no, I say I don't want them, I say no not even to adopt them, I say no not even as a step parent, I say FUCK KIDS, I say KIDS SUCK, I say ABSOLUTELY NO YOU COULDN'T PAY ME to do it, I say I TOOK MY UTERUS OUT ON PURPOSE—and still they continue on peppering me with endless questions, trying to pressure me into it as if their small-minded misogynistic garbage is going to change my mind.

The last one yesterday went on a whole tirade about how women in America dressing provocatively is how rape stats are so much higher here than in Africa. These men are brazen.

So, without further ado, please stop reading this and help me brainstorm what the fuck one-liner might actually be able to shut down these curious Georges once and for all?

Did I mention that the ride there is forty minutes? Yeah, I have to listen to this forever.

My boobs grew three sizes in two months, and now seem to have shrunken at least one size, all due to hormones. My measurements over time are in a photo^.

I'm trying to find the right size (and shape) bra, which was already a challenge because I have OMEGA breasts, plus I have narrow shoulders (only 13" from bone to bone) so straps ideally would be center-pull (hard to find outside of 1950's bullet bras...) I am also projected, center full, full on bottom, narrow roots. I have a long torso so breasts sit high making balconettes function like full cups and full cups be a joke. Oh, and my tissue is so extremely dense they have to MRI me instead of a mammogram.

This is the Cleo Blossom in 30GG. I am debating if I need the 28H? If I pull on the underwires, everything sits a lot better, but I'm just worried it'll be claustrophobically tight.

*If* we agree this fits, what other bras would you recommend?

(Bras that absolutely do not work: Panache Envy, Jasmine, Clara, Ana, Rocha, Andorra; Fantasie Rebecca, Reflect, Fusion, Aura, Illusion [my favorite before the size change]; Freya Fancies, Offbeat, all the molded cup styles; Gossard Glossies; anything Curvy Kate with straps [straps are too wide set]; Bravissimo Millie, Lacey, Alexa, Sara, Coco, Satine, Delilah, and Ultimate Smoothing)

I’ve been having a helluva year. A medically necessary surgery I waited two years for finally happened in February. I’ve since had to have four additional unrelated surgeries, as recently as yesterday. I’ve had 48 medical visits in the last 31 business days, and have 17 more to go in the next 18 days. It feels like I spend my whole life in medical facilities, and really miss being able to pay rent and doing community organizing. Hopefully by October? Who knows.

Surgery also illuminated who my true people were. Only one friend showed up to help in a sea of 15. I also broke up with my partner of six years because he didn’t show up either. So there’s no one to even take me out to dinner or go to the beach with on my birthday, which is two weeks from now, 8/19. Usually I put together a big bash. Themed parties with multiple parts, bike rides, swimming, costumes, decor, live music. My parties are legendary. But because of all the medical hubbub, I have nothing planned and am getting pretty down.

I think some cards could really help. I miss the simpler times when we would run in sprinklers and blast Backstreet Boys, so maybe snail mail could be a transportation device to better birthdays of yore.

ETA: Wow already this is so amazing! I think I DMed everyone who volunteered. Some more info: I'm turning 37. I collect postcards so feel free to use those if you prefer as postage is wildly expensive these days! I put myself on the spreadsheet for birthdays but idk if my hobbies are live yet. I am a jazz singer, a swing dancer, and a kindergarten teacher. I love the beach and biking and Italy and travel in general! Only cards that wouldn't give me warm fuzzies would be furry animal/pet cards, car/driving cards, or mango cards as I'm allergic!

Two models and an 'image architect' judging this last week made me want to throw my computer across the room. They know nothing of how difficult it is to construct garments—they just wear them, and put them on other people.

What even is this show anymore?

I have determined that my fine 2B/C hair is low porosity and that I have a coconut sensitivity and should avoid that, and protein.

I used CurlScan to try to find products that fit the bill, but I know that it’s not extensive, because even the conditioner I own currently is not listed, and has neither.

So does anyone here have suggestions of coconut-free and protein-free products? Or know what other online tools I could use to find them?

So far all I have that doesn’t contain either are conditioner and gels. I’m looking for a daily shampoo, a clarifying shampoo, a mousse, and a leave-in—ideally.

Current routine includes California Natural’s Growth Shampoo, and Curl Conditioner, Re:Grow serum, then Mielle’s Air Dry styling gel sprayed after turbie toweling and air drying hair 50%. Also use Aunt Jackie’s flaxseed gel in the winter when the air is drier. Had to throw everything else out, but the shampoo is still a culprit so need to replace it.

Any direction appreciated! Thanks!!

With help in r/curlyhair, I have determined that my fine 2B/C hair is low porosity and that I have a coconut sensitivity and should avoid that, and protein.

I used CurlScan to try to find products that fit the bill, but I know that it’s not extensive, because even the conditioner I own currently is not listed, and has neither.

So does anyone here have suggestions of coconut-free and protein-free products? Or know what other online tools I could use to find them?

So far all I have that doesn’t contain either are conditioner and gels. I’m looking for a daily shampoo, a clarifying shampoo, a mousse, and a leave-in—ideally.

Current routine includes California Natural’s Growth Shampoo, and Curl Conditioner, Re:Grow serum, then Mielle’s Air Dry styling gel sprayed after turbie toweling and air drying hair 50%. Also use Aunt Jackie’s flaxseed gel in the winter when the air is drier. Had to throw everything else out, but the shampoo is still a culprit so need to replace it.

Any direction appreciated! Thanks!!

With u/anonwashintonian’s help, I have determined that my fine 2B/C hair is low porosity and that I have a coconut sensitivity and should avoid that, and protein.

I used CurlScan to try to find products that fit the bill, but I know that it’s not extensive, because even the conditioner I own currently is not listed, and has neither.

So does anyone here have suggestions of coconut-free and protein-free products?

So far all I have that doesn’t contain either are conditioner and gels. I’m looking for a daily shampoo, a clarifying shampoo, a mousse, and a leave-in—ideally.

Current routine includes California Natural’s Growth Shampoo, and Curl Conditioner, Re:Grow serum, then Mielle’s Air Dry styling gel sprayed after turbie toweling and air drying hair 50%. Also use Aunt Jackie’s flaxseed gel in the winter when the air is drier. Had to throw everything else out, but the shampoo is still a culprit so need to replace it.

Any direction appreciated! Thanks!!

I’ve had acupuncture before, including seated in community settings, and in private settings, but this is the first time I’ve been to a private setting of all Chinese practitioners that also prescribe herbs, do moxibustion, perform massage, etc.

Today I cried hysterically after a needle was inserted into my thumb when I was face down. It hurt for over an hour after it was removed. Felt like it was being ripped from its socket.

I also am experiencing a lot of burning pain on insertion in certain locations (arms, legs, feet, hands, spine). Pretty much the only place they can place needles that don’t hurt are on my upper chest, lower back and hips, and on my face and head.

But I’ve never felt anything like what they did to my thumb. Practitioner has been practicing for 5/6 years.

Is this normal?

I have qi stagnation, blood qi deficiency, weak pulse.

This user has reposted everything from here in the last few days, to r/ChildfreeCJ, a circlejerk sub made to mock us. Now, he can't see this post, because I blocked him. If you block him, he can't repost your posts either.

But on a larger scale note: this sub needs to be private and invite-only because the amount of parents here is at what-the-fuck level, and I'm tired of hearing from them.

This is supposed to be our safe space, and combo lack of moderation and lack of initial privacy is disallowing that from existing, and it's a fixable problem.

I just learned that MA is one of the remaining 15 states (along with Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Louisiana, Maine, Missouri, Nevada, Ohio, and Texas) whose public schools do not pay into—nor earn benefits from—Social Security.

The amendment to Social Security to include municipal workers was passed in the 50's... why are we still living in an ancient paradigm set up to preclude some of America's unsung heroes?

I understand that the argument is that pension plans provide equal or better retirement payouts—but that's only if you're working for 20+ years. Burnout happens well before then, but teachers who don't hit that milestone will have nothing to show for their time in the classroom?

My question is if there is or has recently been any legislation to change this in MA? If so, where does it stand? If not, why not?