Am I Overreacting for wanting my girlfriend to rehome her dog?
Edit: to the guy that said she could find a better Boyfriend that doesnt live with his mom at 25 (cant find the comment-must be deleted)
I dont live with my mom, my mom lives with ME, everything is under my name I helped my mom out with the home and with the cost of rent its expensive for everything-im not going any further into this as it has nothing to do with the problem
I’m 25 and live in a 900 sq ft apartment with my mom and little sister. My girlfriend has been staying with us, but she’s not on the lease yet.
A few months ago she got a dog. The problem is that the dog has frequent accidents, isn’t fully potty trained, and spends a lot of time in a crate. The dog has peed and pooped in the apartment numerous times and has even peed in the elevator.
Apartment management has already contacted me multiple times. One resident recorded my girlfriend not picking up after the dog, and management warned me that future incidents could become a lease issue. After the elevator incident, I was charged a cleaning fee and management mentioned that they may need to have a conversation about my girlfriend and could potentially bar her from the complex if problems continue.
The apartment is all my mom, sister, and I have. Losing our housing would be devastating.
My girlfriend is about to start a job she’s been wanting, but she hasn’t contributed financially to the household yet. If the dog wasn’t part of the equation, we could likely move forward with getting her added to the lease and building a future together.
The dog has also created a lot of tension at home. My mom complains about the dog, the accidents, and the responsibility involved. The dog eats my dogs’ food, has accidents more often than my dogs do, and the apartment often smells because of it.
What also bothers me is that my girlfriend says the dog is non-negotiable and that she doesn’t understand why she should have to give him up. From my perspective, this dog spends most of his time in a crate, wears a shock collar, has frequent accidents, and has even been left sitting in his own urine or feces at times. Because of that, I struggle to understand why she is willing to risk so much for a dog that doesn’t seem to have a great quality of life in the current situation.
At this point I feel like I’m being asked to choose between protecting my family’s housing situation and accepting a dog I never wanted in the apartment in the first place. It almost feels like shes choosing this dog over us.
For reference my mom and I split all bills, i have two dogs whom are very good with rarely any accidents. My girlfriend had just gotten the dog 4 months ago when my childhood dog tragically got killed in a hit and run while she took them to the bathroom.. im still so heartbroken over it.. dont want to bring it up anymore than I did. I know she has PTSD and she views this dog as her “emotional support” but her dog isnt on the lease, neither is she and I don’t know how he can be her emotional support when she only loves on him when she feels the need to. Otherwise hes in the crate literally 23/27 hours a day. I told her its cruel and she still believes she doesn’t understand why she has to give up HER dog.
Ive had multiple conversations in the nicest and even angriest ways and im just done, her parents dont want the dog either so she cant stay with either parents and I almost feel taken advantage of. I know its a matter of grow a pair and send her her way.. but we had no issues at all until her dog. I wanted a life with her and I love her deeply so my heart hurts so bad
Is wanting her to rehome him to continue living with us me overreacting?