u/Kairadeleon

It’s been two weeks

It was two years I put everything I had in it. It was my first relationship at 32. We went couples therapy.

I put her on a pedestal. I tried to use the relationship as a proxy for validation, identity and self love and I realised I shouldn’t have but. I tried to use it to distract my myself from a job I don’t like. I tried to use it to give me meaning

So much familial trauma and neglect from my parents came up in the couples therapy I think I was trying to use the relationship to fix that

But I miss her she wasn’t just a tool to fix myself . We had issues but we also had so much affinity and good times. We had hiccups but real progress too

I’m still masturbating to her, dreaming about her.

I wouldn’t wish a break up on my worst enemy. This is too hard. When does it get better

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u/Kairadeleon — 8 days ago
▲ 20 r/blacklesbians+1 crossposts

Got me questioning everything. Is my Self love sufficient. Did I love the Fantasy more than her . Do I over romanticise black love? Is black love enough or necessary? Will I find someone else? Especially in my thirties? Could we have done things differently.

I’m so sad. How do you guys get over this stuff

reddit.com
u/Kairadeleon — 23 days ago