u/KathTurner

My daughter is turning 15 soon. She’s been teary lately about not wanting to grow up. She’s says she loves being busy with school and stuff but she’s also feeling pressure because more is expected of her as she gets older. She’s also been needing more hugs lately. I love giving hugs; that’s not the problem. I guess I’m just wondering even at this age can they feel scared to “grow up”? Has your teen been through this? Please tell me your kid’s age if you have any advice. Thank you! 🙏

My 14 yo teen loves school for the most part, feels badly when she has to stay home for illness. She’s heavily involved in 2 extra curriculars and she’s got straight As, this quarter, and the 3 before it. She’s always got her head in the game at practices and rehearsals, her teachers have told me so in person, unprompted. She won an award 2 months ago in theater and she also got a varsity letter in it.

If you ask her who her good good buddies in school are she will tell you 4-5 names. Riddle me this - why doesn’t she hang out with friends outside of school activities? For background, she’s in 9th grade, has diagnosed ADHD and GAD, never gets in trouble in school and doesn’t talk about drama from friends often, though I know there’s lots teens don’t tell us.

What can I do to help her forge friendships via social outings? I’ve tried suggesting outings so often, offered to drop her off and pick her up anytime, including offering rides for kids who have no transportation. She says Mom no I’m OK. I give my all at school and my extra curriculars so much that I’m drained when I get home. I like being alone at home because that’s how I recharge. How do I know she’s not depressed? Yes she has depressed days and she’s always irritable. Almost always.

In 7th and 8th she was more involved with friends as far as hanging out outside of school. Going out socially with friends was her absolute favorite thing to do. This freshman year, not so much, despite all her friends from 8th now go to the same high school (a smallish suburb).

Have you experienced having a well liked teen who prefers solitude?

We are seeing her therapist tomorrow, but, she’s told me in the recent past she thinks my daughter is doing fine despite this lack of a social life. I don’t agree and I’m so nervous for my girl.

Any advice or stories would help me so much. Thank you.

I’m still crashing out about my daughter’s FP who dumped her 5 months ago. She says she’s over it but I can tell she’s not. Has anyone else ever suffered alongside someone who lost their FP? This is crazy to be feeling like this after so long. I’m so sick of it sticking around in my head.