u/Kelly-Michele

Thank you all so much for the encouragement and crazy beginner stories yesterday. Last night while laying on bed I went from "free day pass" to "kick butt gym member" on a whim. Up at 5am and tried again. Am I still intimidated? You betcha. But I survived 5 minutes on the stair climber (not a fan 😂), successfully used 2 machines and did the bike for a bit. Now that I'm a member I see the option to sign up for an orientation so that's my plan for tomorrow. If nothing else I get up and start my day with 20 Oz water down before I'm typically even out of bed. Now that I'm in my 50s it's time to curate the healthiest body of my life so far 🙂 Please don't leave me, I need your support when I inevitably do dumb stuff 🤣

I'm way too easily intimidated apparently. I felt like a lost puppy. I used the free day pass with every intention to join...I have to get in shape. But I have no freaking clue what I'm doing and was in a sea of people rocking it. Tell me your first visit was overwhelming and now you're a pro. Tell me I'm not alone.

I'm grieving the relationship I want, I seem to keep getting in the way of it happening. We lose literal days over me doing stupid stuff, like not being able to decide on a date when it's my turn to choose. From now on I am going to choose Netflix and chill, because making a decision and spending time with my husband far outweigh any outside date choice I can make. I don't want to keep losing days over one evening. My husband and I are home together without kids for a few more hours, and yet we are each alone. Hours lost. Days lost. Days we will never get back.

Please say a prayer over me that going forward I can better understand his needs, better fulfill my role as his wife, and have better communication skills. I am shocked at how bad I am at being a wife and I so very much want to improve.