u/Kensie_kamukatsi

Hey 22m this side I'm from IEMR last year . I'm an introvert person I don't have much friends in college and looking for friends is there any?

Some context: we're not a wealthy family, we live in a chawl-type area in pune. I recently found out my parents had already finalized my sister's wedding to a guy from a similar background. The whole thing was decided without anyone telling me until it was basically done.

I love my sister and I'm not trying to undo anything or cause drama in the family. But I wasn't even consulted, and now I want to actually get to know her fiancé before the wedding happens, things like whether he's financially responsible, how he treats his own family, his temperament under stress, and whether he sees her as an equal partner rather than someone who'll just fall in line.

I don't want to come off like I'm interrogating him, and I don't want to make assumptions about him based on where he's from since we're from a similar background ourselves. I just want a real read on who he is as a person.

Has anyone been through something similar, finding out late and trying to vet a future brother-in-law/sister-in-law gracefully? What actually worked for you to get an honest sense of someone before a wedding? And if you did find something concerning, how did you bring it up with your family without it blowing up?

TL;DR: My family arranged my sister's wedding without my input. Trying to figure out how to genuinely get to know the fiancé now, and how to raise any concerns with my family afterward if I find red flags.

Some context: we're not a wealthy family, we live in a chawl-type area in pune. I recently found out my parents had already finalized my sister's wedding to a guy from a similar background. The whole thing was decided without anyone telling me until it was basically done.

I love my sister and I'm not trying to undo anything or cause drama in the family. But I wasn't even consulted, and now I want to actually get to know her fiancé before the wedding happens, things like whether he's financially responsible, how he treats his own family, his temperament under stress, and whether he sees her as an equal partner rather than someone who'll just fall in line.

I don't want to come off like I'm interrogating him, and I don't want to make assumptions about him based on where he's from since we're from a similar background ourselves. I just want a real read on who he is as a person.

Has anyone been through something similar, finding out late and trying to vet a future brother-in-law/sister-in-law gracefully? What actually worked for you to get an honest sense of someone before a wedding? And if you did find something concerning, how did you bring it up with your family without it blowing up?

TL;DR: My family arranged my sister's wedding without my input. Trying to figure out how to genuinely get to know the fiancé now, and how to raise any concerns with my family afterward if I find red flags.

Some context: we're not a wealthy family, we live in a chawl-type area in pune. I recently found out my parents had already finalized my sister's wedding to a guy from a similar background. The whole thing was decided without anyone telling me until it was basically done.

I love my sister and I'm not trying to undo anything or cause drama in the family. But I wasn't even consulted, and now I want to actually get to know her fiancé before the wedding happens, things like whether he's financially responsible, how he treats his own family, his temperament under stress, and whether he sees her as an equal partner rather than someone who'll just fall in line.

I don't want to come off like I'm interrogating him, and I don't want to make assumptions about him based on where he's from since we're from a similar background ourselves. I just want a real read on who he is as a person.

Has anyone been through something similar, finding out late and trying to vet a future brother-in-law/sister-in-law gracefully? What actually worked for you to get an honest sense of someone before a wedding? And if you did find something concerning, how did you bring it up with your family without it blowing up?

TL;DR: My family arranged my sister's wedding without my input. Trying to figure out how to genuinely get to know the fiancé now, and how to raise any concerns with my family afterward if I find red flags.