u/Key-Island5734

My brother was brutally murdered back in 2007 when he was only 23. Recently, while meditating, it occurred to me that I had never really tried to reach out to him before. When I did, I was suddenly flooded with this overwhelming sense of emptiness and of being completely lost.

A few days later, I finally had some time alone and decided to check in with him again. This time, I felt this agonizing sense of loneliness that was so intense I ended up sobbing with my cat for about an hour.

What struck me is that his death was almost 20 years ago. I’ve had a long time to process the loss, and at this point I mostly think about him through fond memories. Of course grief never completely disappears, but this felt different from the grief I normally associate with losing him. It felt more like I was picking up on something rather than remembering something.

He died very young, and he always had a remarkably strong spirit, even as a kid. I’ve started wondering whether what I experienced could have been coming from him, or whether there’s another explanation for what can happen emotionally during this kind of meditation.

Has anyone experienced something similar when trying to connect with someone who died suddenly or violently? How did you distinguish between your own emotions and what you believed you were picking up from them?

I’m considering setting aside some time for energy work with the intention of helping him find peace or move forward, if that’s something he needs. Part of me wonders whether dying so young and so violently could leave someone confused or unable to move on. I don’t want to assume that’s what’s happening, though, so I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who have experience with this.