▲ 22 r/grief

Another year.

Today, 4 years ago on the 4th, my husband Rob died from glioblastoma.

We’d gotten him home from the hospital earlier that day. He was unconscious, and his last words were two days prior. I said I loved him, and he grunted back “I love you”. He was 38. Our daughter had just turned 3. He’d had a few sips of a McDonalds shake that his friend brought a few days earlier. That was his last food.

He was a law clerk and an attorney and so so intelligent! He also loved gaming and watching WWE. He loved animals. He loved our daughter so much and was an amazing father.

He died about 7:20 pm in our bedroom. I was with him, along with his best friend and his parents. I helped the hospice nurse clean him up before the funeral home car arrived. He looked so small and unlike himself in life. So helpless. Everything that made sense in life, was lying there gone forever in our bed. My person. Our daughter’s person. He was only 38.

I don’t remember hearing fireworks, but they go off by our house yearly at a ballpark nearby. I know I’ll see fireworks today. I’ve moved forward, so of course I have plans with my daughter. She doesn’t know her dad died on July 4th.

Goddamn it.

reddit.com
u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 23 hours ago
▲ 102 r/widowers

Another year.

Today, 4 years ago on the 4th, my husband Rob died from glioblastoma.

We’d gotten him home from the hospital earlier that day. He was unconscious, and his last words were two days prior. I said I loved him, and he grunted back “I love you”. He was 38. Our daughter had just turned 3. He’d had a few sips of a McDonalds shake that his friend brought a few days earlier. That was his last food.

He was a law clerk and an attorney and so so intelligent! He also loved gaming and watching WWE. He loved animals. He loved our daughter so much and was an amazing father.

He died about 7:20 pm in our bedroom. I was with him, along with his best friend and his parents. I helped the hospice nurse clean him up before the funeral home car arrived. He looked so small and unlike himself in life. So helpless. Everything that made sense in life, was lying there gone forever in our bed. My person. Our daughter’s person. He was only 38.

I don’t remember hearing fireworks, but they go off by our house yearly at a ballpark nearby. I know I’ll see fireworks today. I’ve moved forward, so of course I have plans with my daughter. She doesn’t know her dad died on July 4th.

Goddamn it.

reddit.com
u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 1 day ago

Anyone have insight?

I’ve been going thru a lot lately and I have so much on my mind. Not a great picture, obviously. But it’s me.

What should I do today to help? Can I relax, or is more stress coming? Ty!

u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 20 days ago
▲ 100 r/widowers

Being a single parent and not well sucks.

I’m posting my picture because I don’t wanna feel so alone…..I guess 🤷‍♀️
This is me coming out to Reddit, not at my best moment admittedly. Ha. Fun times in the widower’s sub, right?!

My husband died from glioblastoma brain cancer at 38, in 2022. Our daughter is 6 and at kindergarten right now. Ambulance brought me into the ER right after I dropped her off to school.

I think I’m ok, probably, but maybe not…….I’m not so much worried about myself or even about dying, but goddam it, I hate this for my daughter. The only family we have are my in-laws in Florida and we’re up north. No siblings, no aunts and uncles, no dad……it’s just ME.

And now I might be glitching.

What if she sees me fall or pass out? Or worse?! She’s only 6 and saw SO much with her dad’s illness. I did too. Seizures, it was all so awful. 2.5 years living in hell while watching my husband become a shell of who he’d been.

What if I can’t take care of our daughter fully? Or take care of myself? Why can life not just give HER a break?! Fuck, I don’t even need one! It’s way beyond that for me, but why does my kid have to deal with a second sick parent?

I feel guilty that I’m here, and sad for her, and just not knowing what’s going on really adds to the stress.

I’d like to cry, but I’m in the hallway of an ER. Fuck this life. I want the one that doesn’t hurt so much.

Edit-thank you all who commented, I really appreciate it. Made the hours less shitty.
Luckily, tests looked overall normal but now I’m hooked up to a heart monitor for a week and then unsure of what’s next. Frustrated at no answers, but grateful for no bad news at this time too. Wanted to update that I appreciate y’all and I’m still alive!

u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 2 months ago
▲ 6 r/AMA

45F, had full-on "mental breakdown" a couple years ago. AMA

I was hospitalized (I am USA-based) in late 2023-early 2024 for about 2 months in total. I have a child. I am a homeowner and have 2 college degrees.

A lot of things have changed in my life since my breakdown, and a LOT had changed before that led me to the point of being hospitalized (and also going from 185-118 lbs. when I was admitted). Sometimes people talk about a "mental breakdown" and we wonder....what is that?! Well.....different for us all, but I had a really bad one!

People have many misconceptions about mental health and mental illness. TW!! for what's next.

My story involves loss, grief, abuse, cancer, addictions and various other shitty things lots of other people have gone through. In my case, I just went through a LOT of it and lost my shit for a while. So, I've decided to do an AMA in case anyone is interested in asking questions about mental health, illness, wellness, my situation, life, medications, whatever. I'll try my best to answer honestly. Interestingly, I also used to work in healthcare, so I know a few things-but I cannot, do not, and will not give any medical advice (of course).

It's later evening where I am, so I may not be able to respond until morning.

Thanks y'all!

reddit.com
u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 2 months ago

Question

Spoiler: noob, maybe also stupid? 🤷‍♀️
But anyway, when I’m browsing in Tor, why can I not interact with any sites? For instance, leave a review or comment on a post anonymously? I get a rejection message from each site.
How can I get past this issue?
Thx!

reddit.com
u/Key_Awareness_3036 — 2 months ago