This year broke me, and I don’t know how to keep going. But I refuse to be lost.
This year has been brutal. I lost my business, I’m in debt, stuck in a toxic family, and now even my girlfriend feels distant. I’m confused, exhausted, and honestly at my wits’ end.
I used to run a small billiards business in our garage. I paid rent to my parents and covered my own utilities, but I had to shut it down when they decided to move because the area was flood-prone. After that I tried different businesses that didn’t work out. I even enrolled in a coding bootcamp for web development, hoping to build a career by working from home, but the industry feels so saturated now, especially with AI taking over.
Then last month I broke my classmate’s MacBook. The repair cost wiped out my savings and now I’m in debt. It feels like every time I try to move forward, something drags me back.
My family situation makes things worse. My dad’s business went bankrupt because of bad decisions. He’s an alcoholic and terrible with money. My sister moved out. My mom often says things that belittle me and my dad without realizing how much it hurts. Home doesn’t feel like home anymore.
My girlfriend used to be my safe space. She even lent me money when I couldn’t function. But now she’s distant. She says she wants to focus on work, and we barely talk anymore. We used to say good morning and share updates about our day, but now there’s silence. I don’t know if I should be worried or just give her space.
I’m still a college student, this summer trying to find work that matches my skills, but progress is slow. I’m not someone who usually opens up publicly, but I feel broken. I prayed this morning and cried, this is the saddest I’ve ever been.
I’m just trying to survive, even if I don’t know how much longer I can keep pushing like this. Please, if you can, pray for me. I really need it. Thank you lord, still.