u/Killac_Wins

Midnight called it! A month ago I thought there was no way. Fuck it, 24 hours ago I thought I didn’t have a chance . Honestly posting these updates has really helped. What I’ve learned in one week. Boredom is my biggest enemy(besides my own brain). I think I need to get out of my hometown lol, and it’s worth it no matter the pain. The pain I caused myself and everyone around me using is a small fraction of the physical/mental pain of withdrawal. Thanks for the support everyone. A week was huge for me it was my goal, I guess my next one is one month? One year? 10 years? I’m working as much as I can to stay busy. Shout out to the family who still talks to me and you guys. This means everything to me right now. I truly appreciate all the support and messages/comments everyone has sent me. I fucking did it!!!!

Is it going well? fuck no. The anxiety, depression and cravings have gotten so bad. I know I can do it, but it’s so fucking hard. I want this so bad. I’m tired of being a disappointment to my loved one. I’m tired of being broke. I’m just fucking tired. I’m here though I’m doing the thing. I am praying to whatever to get through tomorrow so I can post a week, right now that’s my only goal.

I won’t be awake for the actual day 4(hopefully) update. Slept about 30 min last night. today has been a little better, but not much. That confidence from day 1 is gone, but I’ll make it to day 4. Tomorrow will be my first day off and to be honest it scares the shit out of me. Boredom has always been the killer for me. Wish me luck and if I can do this so can you!

72 was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 3 fucking days is so crazy to me. My plug actually texted me asking me if I was good. I blocked the number. This day was by far the hardest but I did it. 3 days…3 miserable days but I fucking did it. Honestly will probably see you guys tomorrow. Sleeping is impossible. My cravings are unbelievably bad I fooled myself thinking day 1 would be the worst. Once again if I can do 3 days you absolutely can!!!

I am fully committed to next update being 1 week and then 1 month and 1 year. If I’m being honest it sucks right now, but the satisfaction of waking up tomorrow knowing I did it feels worth it for the first time. If I can do 2 days anyone can trust me.

Edit for spelling, I’m sober not smart.

Just hit my first 24 hours sober. First time since I was a kid. It feels weird, having trouble sleeping but I’m dedicated this time. I know 1 day isn’t big, but it means everything to me right now.

It makes no sense. I just need it to stop so bad. When I’m sober I feel like life is pointless and my brain won’t shut up. So I get high to feel bad about that too. It’s so fucking pointless I just need this pain to stop. “It gets better” fuck you.