Im 17 and idk how to escape my mom.
Hi guys! I have been wanting to make a post for a long time and if this doesn't belong in this subreddit then please point me in the right direction!!
So I'm 17 (f) and my mom (38) and we have butted heads since i was about 12. I don't want to just say it's all her fault as I have done things in my past that I shouldn't of. For any context: I have been in my moms custody my whole life. We did live with my grandma (her mom) for about 4 years until my mom got her own house around 7 years ago. Me and my grandma are extremely close.
We can start when I was 12. I had gotten a phone since I started middle school and was becoming more mature. My mom didn't want me to have Snapchat and TikTok but a lot of my friends at the time didnt have phone numbers (phones weren't turned on so they could only use it on wifi) and i wanted to talk to them outside of school. So as any other kid does i got them both. Was i doing anything wrong? Yes disobeying my mom, but other than that? No. Also I did have a girlfriend at this time, mind you I was 12 I don't think we even hugged more than once. She found out about it and proceeded to whoop my ass, take all my brand name things (shoes, clothes, perfumes, etc!) So I had 0 shoes, a handful of clothes she left, and no perfumes either. Im twelve years old. The next morning when I needed to go to school I had no shoes. Im a little kid and have no Idea what to do. I ask her "mom i have no shoes and idk what to do" she then stares at me and shrugs "idk figure it out yourself". W. H. A. T. Im....twelve.i have been figuring everything out myself since.
Another little backstory. Im not a bad person. I have had maybe 2 boyfriends since I started hs (senior this year!) I have a college program where I graduate with my associates degree. I maintain a 4.5 GPA. I have a steady job for over a year. I had an accident in a car that was gifted to me and then said I would buy my own car and did all by myself.
Another instance was when I got caught messing around with a friend. I was around 14. No, it was a female friend. And yes, I shouldn't have been doing that but kids are curious. (Everything was above clothes). Atp, me and my moms relationship was not close. I did have a phone at this time (no snap, tt, anything had in it). She then proceeded to whoop me with a brush until it snapped. She then took my friend home. And for the next 3 days to get me to talk she would use a plastic kitchen spoon and smack my legs leaving bruises. (I do cheerleading) I had to go out in public and wear a skirt and she joked to her friends about my bruises right in front of me.
Another context piece: we tried counseling because I wouldn't talk to her because I was (still am) afraid of her hitting me. I can fight back but im not a confrontational person at all. The counseling place required if you did family counseling then the child in question (me) had to do private counseling and my mom couldn't have me talking to anyone else. At this time (around age 14-16?) she would not let me go see me grandma because she didnt want me to talk to her.
Another situation would be about 2 months ago. I was vaping. Should I have been vaping? No. Should she have smacked me so hard with it that it bloodied my lip? Also no. She then took my phone and my car that I paid for and is not even in her name and uses it for work and doesn't even ask me! She also found out I had an iPad and wasn't thrilled about that either and smacked me and gave me a black eye. I have been grounded since.
I have wanted to move out since the first incident and I have begged everyone to take me from here. It's extremely toxic especially with my mother's girlfriend (32) who is bipolar and yells for the littlest things ever and has once bucked up/tried to fight me....over fabric cleaning spray.
I don't know what i can do if anything pre my 18th birthday in around 7 months.
Also: I do make plenty of money where I could support myself entirely.
Thank you guys all in advance!!!!