u/Kind-kinda-counts

This is only an observation of a change manifesting in my life. Positive, daily inputs from another sending me spinning. The recognition that I have lived so long without any one showing me daily love and kindness, that I was raising Diana's Bracelets of Submission to ward off the strange power of love.

Being alone and single for decades is something you get used to. On a walk today I was trying to think back to any time in my life where someone sent daily messages of any kind that I was in their thoughts. Nothing. I can't recall anyone doing this for me. Sunday night collect calls to Mom in college. Daily evening calls with Dad after I moved him into assisted living.

I have been meditating for weeks now with positive affirmations about love. I am open to love. I give love. I am love. I invite love. At first I was also saying I was worthy of love, and I deserve love. Those felt less true. I felt the issue was I needed to take down walls. That I was closed off.

I could tell it was working when I started being surrounded by dogs at the dog park. We had been going for 3 years. And with no treats in the pockets, the dogs all started to come to be petted. And getting a dog almost 4 years ago gave me the opportunity to open my heart to caring for a dependent-on-me life force.

I met him online. I have gone online looking for a few weeks every few years. No real matches in all the tries. Then here is one. He is less than 3 hours away and worlds apart in other ways.

The daily good morning and good night messages are new to me. I am aware that they are stirring up things. We don't know each other's daily rhythms yet. It is all new. Is this what I asked for? From a bird's eye view it seems like it.

Maybe start to meditate on acceptance of what is stirred up in addition to reminding myself how lucky I would be to find love. It does feel like some luck, karma, or kismet is part of it since neither of us live our lives on social media sites. Reddit is the closest I get. He regularly uses none.

Highly recommend affirmations and opening your self up to what love and kindness. I don't know where this will go, and I am also opening myself to the adventure of the 'feels' ahead.

I figure if I don't look, I definitely won't find anyone. It is interesting when I start to see a few new profiles. Hm. Wonder if that means something?

Doesn't seem like you can automatically assume the person just joined. Dug some profiles out of the virtual basement to get me to click?

So now, once a day, I try to compliment a guy. Say hey, [compliment something], and then tell them to have a good day.

I am guessing I am not their type. I don't think most people know what would be easy and fun in the day to day versus what the world tells them they should strive for.

Lot of nice guys that want to travel a lot. I am in a non-travel phase. Who knew that all the travel before I was 40 would mean not compatible after 60? Ha!

So even if I don't find someone ... will spread some kindness. If there is actually a person to read the kind comments. Lol.