Are stepmoms really the backburner/least priority
Hello, i’m new here, and in need of advice. I’m in a 7month LDR relationship with a man who was recently divorced and co parents a 3 year old with his ex wife. I’ve been researching a lot about blended families, since this is my first time to date a man who co parents and divorced.
I have been in really bad relationships and even an abusive one in the past, and when I met my bf, i kind of felt like he was really the person for me. He is sweet, kind, and we honestly click so much.
we had a rocky start, since he never imposed boundaries between him and his ex wife. They would talk about things not related to the kid, and there was even a time when the ex wife, who also had a boyfriend of her own, treated my bf like a second boyfriend when she and her partner were in a rocky situation. My bf allowed her to on the ground that she used to be unstable and might hurt their kid. But she’s better now and is seeking therapy. He has since enforced boundaries himself after I told him I wasnt comfortable, and it made their co parenting better too since she hasnt been walking all over him.
but aside from that, based on what I’ve read, stories here, podcasts, etc., the stepmom is the backburner of a relationship, especially when the biological mother is involved. the stepmom is the least of the priority because her role is ambiguous. Is that true? I am contemplating if i should continue this or not. I love him so much and I constantly mourn the fact that I didnt meet him first. I plan on visiting him by december this year and meet his kid and his family
I know majority of the people here who post have negative experiences, but I hope people who had positive ones tell me their side too. Does it get better? What are the positive sides of being a stepmom? what made you stay despite not being first priority?