u/Kindly_Delivery_5061

Hi All,

So my partner has three kids from a previous relationship (12, 14 and 16). I am pregnant with our first child that we are having together.

My partner raised with me that he doesn’t think our child should be entitled to any of his inheritance because he’s already splitting it three ways…

In terms of financial situation we are very similar (we each own a house that’s worth about the same amount). The BM from the first marriage owns a house as well but has less assets than each of us - maybe 50% of what we each have.

So our child would get 100% of the inheritance from my assets and nothing from their dad. Whereas his three children would get 1/3 of his assets - with nothing going to our child and the inheritance from their mum.

At first I was OK with this but I raised it with a friend and she was kind of appalled that he wasn’t just splitting his assets 4 ways to treat all the kids the same.

Keen on any advice as I’m a bit torn…. 🙏

EDIT: we are not married, but live together so defacto (basically the same). I have my own bank account as does he but we contribute to a third bank account for combined costs like house/baby stuff.

I think he was trying to attempt to make to “fair” amongst the 4 kids but I agree that there is so much that could change… the plan is to write up a binding agreement and each have a will.

Really appreciate everyone’s perspective!

So have three step children, two moved into my house 50% of the time about 8 months ago. Other one lives with HCBM (who both send me abusive texts), that’s another story.

Anyway. It’s EXHAUSTING when the kids are here, they are 13(M) and 16(F).

So basically I feel like I’m constantly having to manufacture warmth. Prime example, 12 y/o comes into the kitchen in the morning (he’s been up for hours in his room so hasn’t just woken up) and this is how a conversation goes.

Q. morning, how did you sleep?
A. Good

Q. what have you got on today? Any sport?
A. Dunno

Q. Are you hungry? Want something to eat?
A. No.

*walks to sink - gets glass of water, stares out window.

Q. Okay well let me know if you need anything.
A. Walks away not responding.

FYI This kid has a phone 24/7.

Basically that on repeat. This is not a once off…

Now I get teenage boys grunt but surely the parents should have instilled some sort of respect/manners to attempt to respond. I don’t expect a full convo but something like “A. nothing much on today but I might message a friend and see if he wants to go for a bike ride…” or ANYTHING.

Thoughts? Or am I being too sensitive?

P.S Step parenting sucks. Fact. It’s so exhausting feeling awkward in your own house 😂

I’m 4 months pregnant (39F) with my first child. My partner (48M) has three kids, two live with us 50% of the time and are 13 (SS) and 16 (SD). The other one is high conflict along with the super high conflict BM. Receive abusive messages from both, drama, make life difficult etc etc

My partner and his two kids moved into my house maybe 6 months ago… it’s been hard on me and it’s getting even harder.

The kids are OK but the SS barely speaks/all feels forced. It’s awkward and exhausting. I feel like I’m not going to bond with them given their age. It feels unnatural parenting someone else’s kids. They all fight and I’m stuck in the middle.

My house was drama free and clean before they all moved in. Now I feel like I have nowhere to relax and this is absolutely not how I envisaged my first and likely only pregnancy to go.

I cannot see myself dealing with this for another 10+ years. It’s making me go into my shell and I want them all to go away. My partner is really trying but that only gets us so far.

I feel like a complete idiot for not thinking about this all earlier… I guess it just happened so quickly and I was naive/hoped for the best.

I’m worried as I go through this pregnancy it’s only going to get worse and I’m barely coping now.

Keen for advice on how to navigate this, do we have any hope?