Had a neighbor text because its nearby. It's a mom and two cubs. Apparently it's raiding bird feeders. Animal control called. Watch your pets and trash.
A very close friend has called me stupid and immature for believing in super romantic love, drawing specific issue with my comparing the time's I've been in love to "a cupid's arrow", that I just have known that I was in love. Their point of view is that you find someone first and you can build romance with that person over time. I do believe that is true, but it is not something I want. They said I was stuck as a child for my beliefs, that it's how it works for teens and kids and in movies.
Now, I'll admit, I've buried the lede. They have strong romantic feelings for me that I do not return, not for lack of consideration on my end due to how close the friendship has been. That rejection, in my opinion, was the impetus of this argument: my refusal to "try".
I've not had a romantic relationship since the end of a long one when I was 19, and I'm now rapidly approaching 30; something they were sure to throw in my face during the argument. While I've got personal reasons for the somewhat shameful dry spell, it has not been on account of lack of romantic feelings either for me, or that I've held, in that time. Particularly in the last 5 years, it's been owed to my rather poor health and my sharp refusal to burden any romantic partner with me at my worst, before they can know me at my best.
In spite of it all; I want that romantic fantasy I feel is out there. I want to know that I'm in love very early on, and feel it's there. But this person has been my best friend for so long, I am obviously hurt, and while they apologized for being insulting, they insist they're right. While I'm never going to date them, certainly not now after all of this, I'm just left aching. Am I being stupid, or unrealistic, and do I need to grow up to recognize what Love is? Or does it exist as I've felt it in my life, and I'm not wrong for wanting it the way I see it?