u/Kitchen_Eagle8362

Hey everyone! English isn't my first language so apologies if this is a bit rough — translating from Chinese!

I have a 8-month-old neutered male cat (Duoduo) and recently introduced a 2-month-old female kitten (Xiaolin) that I found as a stray. The introduction was a bit rough at the start — I made the mistake of forcing them together too soon, which caused some tension. After that I did a proper slow reintroduction with scent swapping, visual contact through a glass door, and supervised play sessions.

They've come a long way! They now sleep in the same room, chase each other around, and Duoduo even tries to groom Xiaolin. The problem is Duoduo keeps pinning Xiaolin down and biting her while licking her — when Xiaolin struggles or screams he bites down harder to keep her still, and only when she stops moving does he start licking her again. Xiaolin screams and tries to escape the whole time. No visible injuries so far.

Duoduo doesn't seem aggressive — no hissing, no claws. It feels more like he's trying to groom her but doesn't understand she's not into it yet. After I separate them, Xiaolin will often come back and provoke Duoduo again on her own — so she doesn't seem too traumatized or scared of him?

I have a short video — I usually intervene when this happens, but this time I let it go a bit longer specifically to get it on camera. Does this look like play/grooming gone too far, or should I be more concerned?

Edit: Thank you everyone for the advice and concerns!

I hear those of you who are worried about Xiaolin. I want to clarify a few things:

• Safety first: I spent the last few hours creating more spaces and "kitten-only" hiding spots where Duoduo can't reach her. (For example, under the bed, under the sofa, and some cat trees)
• Supervision: They are NEVER left alone together. When I'm not in the room or when I'm sleeping, they are kept in separate rooms.
• The Video: I understand it was hard to watch her cry. I only let that specific interaction last a few seconds longer to show the vet/community exactly what "level" of rough play was happening so I could get accurate advice. I won't do it again—I value her safety and mental well-being above a video.
• Current Status: They are currently napping (separately). I’m going to stick to more supervised, structured play and will intervene the second Xiaolin vocalizes from now on. I’m also looking into pheromone diffusers to help calm the dynamic.

I really appreciate the "Dominance Grooming" explanation—it helps me understand Duoduo's perspective, but I agree he needs to learn boundaries since he's much stronger. Thanks for looking out for my fur babies!