u/Kitchen_Syllabub_184

For context, I got out of a really painful relationship about 3 months ago and I’m still healing from it emotionally. I did briefly see another guy after that, but we decided we were better off as friends as I’m not fully healed. Right now I’m not really interested in dating and I’ve been trying to focus on myself and getting my peace back and getting out of debt.

My roommate and her boyfriend has been repeatedly trying to push their friend onto me. At first I tried to laugh it off you’re so funny haha but it’s not funny haha anymore. I’ve told her multiple times I’m not interested. She still keeps bringing him up, hyping him up, and trying to make this “you guys NEED to meet” situation happen.
l told her again and again and again and again and again IM NOT INTERESTED AHHHHH LEAVE ME ALONE is what I wanna yell. But I just calmly say no.
There are repeated instances that they put down the guy I decided to be friends that I went on a couple of dates saying he’s using you, your his second option. He’s probably hooking up with a bunch of ppl. And a lot more hurtful things. I found them invasive and that’s where I felt boundaries need to be drawn. Bc they tried a lot of times to get me to hang out with them being fake nonchalant that his friend is joining. You just have that Yk what they’re up to gut instinct. At this point I’m very bothered by this, and the pressure it has become. I did voiced what you said abt my friend was hurtful. It wasn’t until she came back from her trip and was like yet again yeah my boyfriend best friend finds you cute and wants to be friends no pressure you wouldn’t be down to get coffee? He’s a great guy. NOOO GIRL IM NOT DOWN IF anything IM PISSED. But i declined and said no im not interested. Then she said well imma have him over at the apartment. Which I translated as imma force you to have an interaction and meet him whether you like it or not. Take a shot every time i have to say im not interested bc apparently it means TRY HARDER. My legs are wide open. Also this man is in the military. I have nothing against them but I rather not get involved with a military man. At this point I’m pissed like feeling everything crying resentment annoyed irritated disrespected violated. Bc IM NOT INTERESTED AND DONT WANT TO DATE HIM AHHHHHHHHH.at this point even be friends that option is down the drain. Whatever could have happened is down the drain. AND again THERE WAS NO HAPPEN BC I AM NOT INTERESTED. I feel violated bc I value my home it’s my safety my comfort where I recharge. The last thing I need is to come home from a 12 hour shift and see this random man in MY SPACE. Trying to talk to me. That I did not ASK FOR. I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS. And I’m so stressed and crying bc it’s like wtf! Are my decisions not my decisions anymore. And I will not CRACK UNDER PEER PRESSURE. I don’t want a friend I didn’t ask for. I don’t want a boyfriend I didn’t ask for. More or less forced upon me.

I also sent a VERY STRICT DOWN THE line boundary
Here’s my message a lil heated but I’m trying to get the point across to her bc after my first three four thousands no’s weren’t enough I feel I need to just draw the clear boundaries in the sand.

Hey girl. I’m not comfortable having to express multiple times, I’m not open to this dynamic of hearing again and again of your boyfriend best friend. I’m not interested. And I’ll voice this one more time before we have actually have a problem. I don’t like to be put in this position. I definitely feel concerned and peace being stolen from me. I know he’s your friend but I don’t want him over at the apartment . I find  that insensitive that you pushed this man so much I am irritated and resentful. And now he’s coming into my space the apartment where I view this as my safety. That’s the last thing I need is to come home after work and see this man who I lowkey kinda hate now bc I feel this has definitely crossed boundaries. I find disrespectful bc it turned to a whole thing. I’m fine with family your boyfriend but this situation is not ideal  and has become a spectacle of omg you need to meet him.  I’m more than open to find a solution. Bc he’s your friend. But I don’t think it’s fair my feelings and boundaries are being overridden and I don’t feel heard . I appreciate you and love you as a roommate don’t get me wrong but I have to draw this boundary before more resentment builds up. I don’t want this getting in the way of our friendship. I’m more than capable of building and finding connections by myself. I appreciate the offer but it has become invasive

so I been reflecting on this heavy. I have a credit debt of 4k and I broke a shared apartment lease back in February and now owe them 4.5k too. I’m also in college working two minimum wage jobs in the restaurant industry. I was thinking of selling my car for 15k to pay off my debt and a buy a clunker car for 5-6k range. My mom says it’s a bad idea but I disagree. I’m willing to take a risk for an older car if it means I’ll be debt free. Honestly I don’t know how to go about it. My mom would be very upset if I sold the car bc she paid it off using my college money (thats a whole thing within itself) but my insurance would be cheaper, I’ll have a bit of savings left over from selling and I won’t be driving it like crazy. I’m also financially responsible for myself entirely. housing phone bill food etc. while also trying to pay for my own education now. I believe I have a good plan. But I need advice if I’m being unwise in this decision I’m debating.

update: Okay thank y'all. for the advice I appreciate it a lot. the wisest decision it seems is too keep the car. In my location , the options for clunkers aren’t very good. I guess I’ll hustle on and try to budget and create a payment plan even if payments are minimal