(vent) how do i get rid of the need to socialise?
i still have the human urge to talk to people but it's making me miserable, i can't feel anything other than just being miserable or occasionally angry, this illness feels like it's taking everything i find important from me and it hurts so much im so tired im so sorry, it took almost all my friends it took my relationship and it took my extended family. I think at this point i'm just permanently damaged and stuck because i'm just no longer capable of connecting with new people, or reconnecting with people i used to know, and i hate it i really hate it. i made so much progress since i had first developped this illness, back then i hated myself so much it hurt me so bad, but even then i was able to be friends with people i could connect with them, and it hurt me so much back then but god did i love them all, i loved hanging out with people. now i can survive a casual interaction with people without going insane, but i feel like i have no one, and i feel so stuck. i don't think i can fix this anymore. it hurts so much. i don't want to die i just don't want to feel like this constantly. i wish i could manage alone. i'm forever grateful for the two friends i have right now, but i feel like i'm gonna lose them too