u/KittyPity8

Right now I'm really confused if a situation I had with a friend is sexual assault and I would really love any advice or support since I can't find anything similar online right now.

For context: I 21F was seeing a friend of mine 21M for around two months. We have been close friends for around a year and a half and I would consider him one of my best friends. We are also both really nerdy and had a lot of the same interests so we naturally kind of clicked. I will preface I am a CSA survivor and have been diagnosed with cPTSD. This makes this situation even harder to navigate because I can't really trust my own feelings and perceptions. He knows about my situation and trauma history extensively and used to be a big support for me. We would do everything together and I even called him the one safe man I had in my life at one point. He took care of me and was always there me.

Situation: So due to all the trauma I was basically celibate for my first two to three years of college. I would have meltdowns and had an extremely hard time navigating non-platonic relationships or interests. He kind of helped me through this, leading to us having sex for the first time April after he took me to the hospital after getting sick and I stayed with him for days while he took care of me. He wore a condom but didn't pull out and we split plan B. I am not on birth control and very scared of getting pregnant so I told him that for now on I wanted him to pull out. The second time we had sex it was normal but the third time was completely different. It was a few weeks later I asked to be platonic friends a few days beforehand and we agreed to meet so I could give him his stuff back. He told me he went on another date and another girl slept in his bed that weekend. I was a bit jealous but it was fine. Next thing you know we are having sex again. He asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said "yes as long as you pull out'. Then while we were having sex he asked if we could switch position and I said" yes just pull out" then when he came I said once again "okay pull out". He had never not pulled out since the first time we slept together. Of course, he did not pull out this time and I was absolutely horrified. He is aware of my extensive history of sexual violence and when I asked him why he told me "he thought I was safe ( from getting pregnant) and it just felt better for him." He also admitted to me that he knew I didn't want him to do that but he did it anyway and he doesn't know why. I blocked him for a month and now I am back in contact with him. We have agreed to be friends which I think will never change. I feel so horrifed by this situation and I don't know what to do. He was a safe place for me and helped me navigate all of my intimacy issues. I could say he helped form who I was today and I feel so betrayed and broken by the idea that he himself could be someone who took advantage of me. After this he started going to therapy and doing all these treatments. He even told me he thinks about it everyday and is haunted by the guilt. I feel like there is ambiguity because he was wearing a condom.

Is this sexual assault? Should I still be friends with him? Should I cut him off completely? Any advice is appreciated.

Right now I'm really confused if a situation I had with a friend is sexual assault and I would really love any advice or support since I can't find anything similar online right now.

For context: I 21F was seeing a friend of mine 21M for around two months. We have been close friends for around a year and a half and I would consider him one of my best friends. We are also both really nerdy and had a lot of the same interests so we naturally kind of clicked. I will preface I am a CSA survivor and have been diagnosed with cPTSD. This makes this situation even harder to navigate because I can't really trust my own feelings and perceptions. He knows about my situation and trauma history extensively and used to be a big support for me. We would do everything together and I even called him the one safe man I had in my life at one point. He took care of me and was always there me.

Situation: So due to all the trauma I was basically celibate for my first two to three years of college. I would have meltdowns and had an extremely hard time navigating non-platonic relationships or interests. He kind of helped me through this, leading to us having sex for the first time April after he took me to the hospital after getting sick and I stayed with him for days while he took care of me. He wore a condom but didn't pull out and we split plan B. I am not on birth control and very scared of getting pregnant so I told him that for now on I wanted him to pull out. The second time we had sex it was normal but the third time was completely different. It was a few weeks later I asked to be platonic friends a few days beforehand and we agreed to meet so I could give him his stuff back. He told me he went on another date and another girl slept in his bed that weekend. I was a bit jealous but it was fine. Next thing you know we are having sex again. He asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said "yes as long as you pull out'. Then while we were having sex he asked if we could switch position and I said" yes just pull out" then when he came I said once again "okay pull out". He had never not pulled out since the first time we slept together. Of course, he did not pull out this time and I was absolutely horrified. He is aware of my extensive history of sexual violence and when I asked him why he told me "he thought I was safe ( from getting pregnant) and it just felt better for him." He also admitted to me that he knew I didn't want him to do that but he did it anyway and he doesn't know why. I blocked him for a month and now I am back in contact with him. We have agreed to be friends which I think will never change. I feel so horrifed by this situation and I don't know what to do. He was a safe place for me and helped me navigate all of my intimacy issues. I could say he helped form who I was today and I feel so betrayed and broken by the idea that he himself could be someone who took advantage of me. After this he started going to therapy and doing all these treatments. He even told me he thinks about it everyday and is haunted by the guilt. I feel like there is ambiguity because he was wearing a condom.

Is this sexual assault? Should I still be friends with him? Should I cut him off completely? Any advice is appreciated.